Question about sexuality.

[TehCookie]

I don't care than much about sexuality to know what kind I am. I'm around 90% straight, like the romantic relationships and don't have much of a sex drive. I just say I'm straight since I'm lazy. When it comes to other people's sexuality, as long as it's legal I don't care. I never understood why it is such a huge issue.

 

[templargunman]

I'm straight, and I realized it sometime around kindergarten when I had my first crush. As far as confirming my sexuality, not really sure.

 

[Lyx]

Sexual attraction i first clearly noticed during puberty. At least up to the age of about 24 years, it has however always been the case, that i tended to get along better with girls, than with guys - i don't mean regarding love, but in general. This however may have been for reasons related to something else:

I've never felt "manly", nor did i ever feel "girly" - regarding gender. It was more like i just did and feel whatever came to my mind at the moment, and what was important to me at the moment. So, in one situation i may have acted and felt similiar to what's called girly, in another situation more closely to what's called "manly", and most of the time, i'd act and feel like "something else".

The reason why i at first got along better with girls, i think had to do with the boys i knew having a tendency to "show off" and be clearly ... how should i describe this.... rejective of their own selfperception. With girls, that wasn't the case - when talking with them, there was no need to establish some kind of hierachy or pretending something - both could just talk about whatever seemed interesting at the moment, without the need of pretending something. I think that's why at first i got along better with girls, even though i wasn't biased towards female gender behaviour.

Later on, that bias got corrected back into balance, for multiple reasons: One being that i got better methods for finding guys that are not "typically manly". Second because i developed communication methods to reduce such biases among the other person. Third because if misc disappointments with girls. And finally because i began to notice annoying systematic biases with girls - so that then, girls as well as guys to me had biases alien to me, just different ones.

Hmm, that was a lot about gender, even though the topic is about sexuality. Oh, i almost forgot: I'm straight.

 

[Ricky 49]

As I'm sure many of you have seen, there are a ton of threads about sexuality on here. Now, I'm not trying to start a flame war or anything, but I'm genuinely curious about sexuality and the average person, whether that person be hetero, homo, or bisexual, as well as transgender, pansexual, omnisexual, and the like.

My question is fairly simple, I think. When did you realize that you are the orientation you are? Were you always that way, or did you wake up one day and realize that you were one or another?

As a former psychology major and current sociology major, I find this question very interesting since sexuality seems to be a hot button issue. So I'd like to increase the discussion value of this thread by adding, "Does sexuality really matter?" to the mix.

Please, do try to be calm and reasonable. If someone says something that offends you or tries to troll you, just report them, and don't flood my thread with meaningless semi-thought out rants.

So, I suppose I'll start first. I'm a heterosexual male, have never had any interest in men sexually, and have always (at least as far back as I can remember) had an interest in women. As for the sexuality and it mattering? I don't see how it should affect me unless someone of non-heterosexual orientation hits on me, in which case, I politely decline. I don't see the huge fuss about it.

As you are someone who has studied psychology and is studying sociology I'm surprised that you haven't encountered majour works on the subject in your studies (Freud, Kinsey etc).

if you have I'm guessing you either disagree with their ideas or are just looking for what other people think on the escapist forums

For thouse interested

Spoiler: Freud

Freud claims that sexuality is developed whilst you grow up and is far more complicated than merely heterosexual, homosexual and bisexual as you form all relationships on a sexual basis and society forces you to identify with one of these groups. "Naturally" speaking these groups don't exist; they are all created by society. Not to say that everyone is lying to themselves when they say they are gay or straight, it's just that environment they grew up in coupled with society using sexuality as a fixed part of an identity caused people to put themselves in these groups.

Spoiler: Kinsey

Kinsey attempted to create a report on sexuality to do this he created the Kinsey scale to measure a person's sexuality. Measured 0-6, 0 being exclusively heterosexual and 6 being exclusively homosexual (and X being asexual) Kinsey seem to believe that sexuality was a sort of spectrum of being attracted to men or women.

on the topic of at what point do you realise what sexual orientation you are I guess it's what is when you start getting fascinated with another human being in a sort of physical sence and if the trend in gender continues etc unless repressing yourself which can make things confusing.

as for myself I am a male and I have never really had a fascination with another man, I have only ever fallen in love with women and tend to only to take note of women at bars etc.

so I'm straight...mostly

 

[MasterOfWorlds]

snip

Most of Freud's theories have actually been disproven as I understand it. I never made it to studying Kinsey, as I only took general psychology and personality psychology before switching majors. Studying sociology though, it would seem that gender role is more of a social thing, with most societies showing a pattern of men being the primary bread winners/hunter gatherer types, and women staying home and taking care of the kids. There are some though, that have no assigned gender roles, and others that have reversed gender roles.

Of course, gender role and sexuality/orientation aren't necessarily the same thing.

This is actually more of a "Are you born that way, or do you think that events shaped your orientation?" thread. I know some established theories on the subject, but it never hurts to ask people what they think.

 

[Verp]

I'm aromantic asexual. I never really had to realise what I am, I had to realise that most people aren't like me. When I was little, I thought all people are basically aromantic and asexual (I never thought about it in those exact terms, of course, those I learned later) but that they are taught to be sexual and to have romantic relationships so they do.

When my teenage years started, this idea was mostly abolished, although not before I had become alienated from my peers by being shocked and disgusted at them becoming more interested in "adult things". Not only was I bullied for mostly unrelated things, but I pretty much cut myself loose from my friends who I basically viewed as "traitors" for developing that way.

Not a high point in my life and it still sort of haunts me.

Also, I'm transgender. Because of all the other shit I realised it fairly late, but for a couple of years now I've known about my true gender identity, which is that of a genderneutral person.

 

[dslatch]

i'm bi, i went through a stage when i was bit younger thinking i was gay it lasted for a while. then i find a girl who likes me and it was then i realized that i liked her as well but still like the idea of a dude. It only matters when I'm doing certain things, getting drunk partying i like to be in the company of anybody, while just hanging out i prefer straits but when in class i gravitate towards the bi's and homos.

lol reading this over it doesn't make sound like a very good person

 

[Verp]

As I'm sure many of you have seen, there are a ton of threads about sexuality on here. Now, I'm not trying to start a flame war or anything, but I'm genuinely curious about sexuality and the average person, whether that person be hetero, homo, or bisexual, as well as transgender, pansexual, omnisexual, and the like.

My question is fairly simple, I think. When did you realize that you are the orientation you are? Were you always that way, or did you wake up one day and realize that you were one or another?

As a former psychology major and current sociology major, I find this question very interesting since sexuality seems to be a hot button issue. So I'd like to increase the discussion value of this thread by adding, "Does sexuality really matter?" to the mix.

Please, do try to be calm and reasonable. If someone says something that offends you or tries to troll you, just report them, and don't flood my thread with meaningless semi-thought out rants.

So, I suppose I'll start first. I'm a heterosexual male, have never had any interest in men sexually, and have always (at least as far back as I can remember) had an interest in women. As for the sexuality and it mattering? I don't see how it should affect me unless someone of non-heterosexual orientation hits on me, in which case, I politely decline. I don't see the huge fuss about it.

I'm an asexual. I realized I was an asexual the day I forced myself to be that way. I used to be heterosexual, and I'm a male.

As another asexual, I'm sort of confused ; how does one force oneself to be of another sexual orientation?

 

[M Rotter]

i think the psychological journey to whatever sexuality people decide to have is the most interesting and important thing. Sexuality is completely wrapped up in who you are, but its only one piece. Figuring out how you got to whatever end is the most telling part, not what you actually ended up as.

 

[SckizoBoy]

It's kind of complicated. I know I'm attracted to women. When it comes to other guys, I have no problem cuddling up to a guy around my age as a joke or swing dancing with them. Maybe it's just my lack of a personal bubble. Then when it comes to some anime guys or even video game characters I feel an attraction. Maybe it's just because they are more effeminate than normal.

However the thought of partisapating in homosexual sex disturbs me. I don't wanna dish out too much of my personal life, but it's a key part in finding out where exactly I stand. I have made out with another guy before, and I didn't care for it. (I wouldn't be telling anybody this, but I don't believe homosexuality is wrong, despite my religious beliefs.) I just refer to myself as heteroflexible around company I can trust, my family not included in that.

I'm similar... I've only ever had girlfriends, though one (pseudo-homosexual) relationship was with a guy, but it was never sexual (BTW he is pretty much the same as me, sexuality-wise... well everything-wise, now that I think on it). Therefore, you can call me heterosexual, but I engage in romantic friendships with other guys.

For some reason, I've always been (I preface this with 'relatively') comfortable (in an intimate setting) around members of both genders. Being raised in a fairly religious household I've been programmed to be straight (pretty much), and I don't have a problem with it (and before anyone decides to jump down my throat, I have gay friends, and I enjoy cuddling with them, along with the occasional kiss/make-out).

I couldn't decide between straight and bi for a while, but it was kinda obvious... I'm sexually attracted to women, but romantically attracted to both (my friends accept this, even if they consider me weird for it).

They take the Voltaire stance 'I don't agree with what you say, but I'll defend to the death your right to say it' (or words to that effect), for which I'm truly grateful. Too many times (like twice, but that's still too many times) gays have derided me for being half-arsed about it, but that's just the way I am. 'If you don't like it, piss off' is pretty much the only thing you can say, right?

 

[Nephus]

Ok, I'll bite. Bisexual transgendered. I guess I figured, if I'm gonna have to run through BEING two different sexes, why limit my experiences? BTW, for those keeping score, sex and gender are two very different things. Most people, they coincide, but really gender is more of a social construct than anything else anyway.

Some cultures I'd be worshiped as an enlightened being... this one I have to worry about which bathroom to use for fear of arrest/murder depending on the choice and in what circumstances I have to make it under. Honestly, I find the whole thing insulting. Oh noes, a woman packing a penis! Everyone will be raped if they go in the same windowless room with them! Unless you have serious intentions of getting into them, what's in my pants is none of your business.

Now, as to does it matter? Well, I guess that all depends on what you do with it. Personally, I can't stand people who define themselves by a single thing. I've run into a lot of gay people in my life that are just gay, and GAAAAAAAAAAAAY at that. That's it, completely one dimensional. (one so afflicted that his home was entirely decorated in roosters, or "cocks" if you will, because that's all he could think about) Of course, I've also run into the same problem with football players and comic geeks too.

Personally, I am a complex person of varying tastes and interests who just happens to have been born with some slightly out of sync genetics and an open enough mind that I don't see the point in limiting myself to one half of the buffet line. Some have said that I'm just plain greedy

 

[The Man With the Soap]

As I'm sure many of you have seen, there are a ton of threads about sexuality on here. Now, I'm not trying to start a flame war or anything, but I'm genuinely curious about sexuality and the average person, whether that person be hetero, homo, or bisexual, as well as transgender, pansexual, omnisexual, and the like.

My question is fairly simple, I think. When did you realize that you are the orientation you are? Were you always that way, or did you wake up one day and realize that you were one or another?

As a former psychology major and current sociology major, I find this question very interesting since sexuality seems to be a hot button issue. So I'd like to increase the discussion value of this thread by adding, "Does sexuality really matter?" to the mix.

Please, do try to be calm and reasonable. If someone says something that offends you or tries to troll you, just report them, and don't flood my thread with meaningless semi-thought out rants.

So, I suppose I'll start first. I'm a heterosexual male, have never had any interest in men sexually, and have always (at least as far back as I can remember) had an interest in women. As for the sexuality and it mattering? I don't see how it should affect me unless someone of non-heterosexual orientation hits on me, in which case, I politely decline. I don't see the huge fuss about it.

I'm an asexual. I realized I was an asexual the day I forced myself to be that way. I used to be heterosexual, and I'm a male.

As another asexual, I'm sort of confused ; how does one force oneself to be of another sexual orientation?

I just supressed my sexual urges and introduced a negative stimulus (pain) each time I felt the urges until they stopped occuring altogether.

 

[Verp]

As I'm sure many of you have seen, there are a ton of threads about sexuality on here. Now, I'm not trying to start a flame war or anything, but I'm genuinely curious about sexuality and the average person, whether that person be hetero, homo, or bisexual, as well as transgender, pansexual, omnisexual, and the like.

My question is fairly simple, I think. When did you realize that you are the orientation you are? Were you always that way, or did you wake up one day and realize that you were one or another?

As a former psychology major and current sociology major, I find this question very interesting since sexuality seems to be a hot button issue. So I'd like to increase the discussion value of this thread by adding, "Does sexuality really matter?" to the mix.

Please, do try to be calm and reasonable. If someone says something that offends you or tries to troll you, just report them, and don't flood my thread with meaningless semi-thought out rants.

So, I suppose I'll start first. I'm a heterosexual male, have never had any interest in men sexually, and have always (at least as far back as I can remember) had an interest in women. As for the sexuality and it mattering? I don't see how it should affect me unless someone of non-heterosexual orientation hits on me, in which case, I politely decline. I don't see the huge fuss about it.

I'm an asexual. I realized I was an asexual the day I forced myself to be that way. I used to be heterosexual, and I'm a male.

As another asexual, I'm sort of confused ; how does one force oneself to be of another sexual orientation?

I just supressed my sexual urges and introduced a negative stimulus (pain) each time I felt the urges until they stopped occuring altogether.

But sexual orientation isn't about how much you're having sexual urges, it's about what attracts you. Asexuals can have sexual urges (they're called libidoist asexuals) and those who do have a libido tend to masturbate. The difference there is that they're not masturbating to anything particular, as far as I know, since they don't experience attraction towards any person or thing.

 

[The Man With the Soap]

As I'm sure many of you have seen, there are a ton of threads about sexuality on here. Now, I'm not trying to start a flame war or anything, but I'm genuinely curious about sexuality and the average person, whether that person be hetero, homo, or bisexual, as well as transgender, pansexual, omnisexual, and the like.

My question is fairly simple, I think. When did you realize that you are the orientation you are? Were you always that way, or did you wake up one day and realize that you were one or another?

As a former psychology major and current sociology major, I find this question very interesting since sexuality seems to be a hot button issue. So I'd like to increase the discussion value of this thread by adding, "Does sexuality really matter?" to the mix.

Please, do try to be calm and reasonable. If someone says something that offends you or tries to troll you, just report them, and don't flood my thread with meaningless semi-thought out rants.

So, I suppose I'll start first. I'm a heterosexual male, have never had any interest in men sexually, and have always (at least as far back as I can remember) had an interest in women. As for the sexuality and it mattering? I don't see how it should affect me unless someone of non-heterosexual orientation hits on me, in which case, I politely decline. I don't see the huge fuss about it.

I'm an asexual. I realized I was an asexual the day I forced myself to be that way. I used to be heterosexual, and I'm a male.

As another asexual, I'm sort of confused ; how does one force oneself to be of another sexual orientation?

I just supressed my sexual urges and introduced a negative stimulus (pain) each time I felt the urges until they stopped occuring altogether.

But sexual orientation isn't about how much you're having sexual urges, it's about what attracts you. Asexuals can have sexual urges (they're called libidoist asexuals) and those who do have a libido tend to masturbate. The difference there is that they're not masturbating to anything particular, as far as I know, since they don't experience attraction towards any person or thing.

Well, then I guess I have no sexuality because I killed mine.

 

[MasterOfWorlds]

Ok, I'll bite. Bisexual transgendered. I guess I figured, if I'm gonna have to run through BEING two different sexes, why limit my experiences? BTW, for those keeping score, sex and gender are two very different things. Most people, they coincide, but really gender is more of a social construct than anything else anyway.

I think there should be sex, sexuality, and gender. Gender being what you're born as, sex being what you feel you are, and sexuality being your orientation. Or you could simply call it orientation.

Psychology and sociology haven't quite caught up with the times, so some of the theories are a little dated. Although there are some people working on them from what I understand. Being a sociology major myself, and interested in the research side of it, I decided to conduct a series of polls on here. Feel free to check them out if you want. It's all unofficial of course, but it's good to have a general idea of what's going on with people.

 

[Mr. Doe]

My post

I officially provoke you.

Well, scince its official and all I guess I'll divulge the intel. Shes this nice girl I met in High School, I've known her for like 3 years now. When I first met her I had no real intention of sticking around, I was gonna join up with the Army and ship out like my dad did. But then one day she started talking to me and I started talking to her and we found out we have alot in common so after about 3 months of trying to deny it I accepted that I had feelings for her, this wasnt an easy decision as it meant I would have to give up on my 4 year long plan to become a grunt and ship out; But I decided that she was worth it so one day I ask her if she wants to hang out and it just kind of started moving from there. I hang out with her alot and we always have a good time even if its just doing nothing; She just makes me feel like getting up and doing everything I never bothered to do. I dont know the exact reason why she somehow overrides my aversion to sex/romance/fun I know that I started talking to her because of her personality (That and she approached me.) She's really energetic and funny. She's artistic, likes Zombies, H.P. Lovecraft, Classic rock, hates stuff that most steryotypical girls like and on more than one occasion has shaved her head. Now onto the difficult portion of my explanation, Ive liked her ever scince I really got to know her so its been a little bit of an elephant in the room for me whenever she would start dating a guy. So far she has been through 3 or 4 relationships during my, uh... I just realized I have no accurate word to refer to my relationship with her and Ive helped her overcome the bad parts of her choices (IE: getting dumped by a emo douche, getting dumped by a different emo douche and getting dumped because she wasnt a christian, not thinking she's pretty etc.) Been there for her after a major surgery (Gallblader oscomy?/ectomy? whichever one is the stabbing one.) Ive helped her through 3 major mental breakdowns (She has Attatchment Disorder.) Ive told her the way I feel and She gave me the whole "Dont want to ruin our friendship." cliche (But she genuinely means it.) She's come to me with problems she doesnt talk to anyone else about, She's said in the past that she finds me attractive, Has undressed in the same room as me, indirectly kissed me (Sharing a cigarette, I dont usually smoke.) and we have made plans to move to california when we have the resources. Unfortunately she also keeps getting back together with guys who cant deal with her problems/thier problems/anything more complicated than banging two rocks together but still relies on me for emotional support, which I dont mine it shows me she cares and that shes comfortable with me, but the getting back together with ravenous dickweasels gets on my nerves. So TL;DR/TvTropes/abridged explanation Manic Pixie dream Girl meets Stoic, Stoic falls in love MPDG She doesnt know how she feels, Will They or Wont they?

 

[Dense_Electric]

Personally, I'm just plain straight. Though unlike a lot of people, I don't feel the need to go around establishing my sexuality to everyone. Though I'm not attracted to it, I don't need to act like I'm somehow disgusted by male anatomy just to prove something. Short version, I like girls, and while I'm not attracted to guys, they don't bother me.

 

[Blobpie]

Being a hetro sexual male i have no idea how it works. But from talking to some of my friends (whom are not hetro) i can come to the conclusion that they know they're different, it just takes some time to figure it out. You just know.

 

[AbsoluteVirtue18]

I'm straight, but I will admit when I think a man is attractive. I've considered the alternatives, but they don't feel right, you know?

 

[Vault101]

Hetro, and I know some people have said everyone is a little bit bi, but ope, I dont find men attractive at all.
That out of the way, I want to ask something to any hetro women, I have seen women say "what is it with guys and thinking lesbians are hot" which made me wonder dont you feel the same way about 2 guys ?

Generally no I Dont think its the same for most straight women I geus mabye in a similar way that males strippers are more of a Novelty than anything considered really sexy (I think), that said I cant speak for every woman, mabye some do but they wont admit it

as far as all this goes for me....Im pretty sure Im straight, but then again does enoying the sex scenes from Black swan make me gay or bi? I dont know....