Happyninja42 said:
So I was listening to an episode of Dogma Debate, and they had Stephanie (I forget her last name), from the youtube channel "thinkstephtically". And she was discussing relationships and intimacy for a trans, transwoman specifically. And she mentioned something that I was vaguely curious about. She mentioned how she isn't attracted to transmen, and is basically only attracted to cisgender men.
Steph has said a lot of things I think a good number of trans individuals would disagree with. Just keep that in mind for the future. I remember actually being taken aback by a couple of her statements.
So I was curious, in general do you as a trans find other trans sexually attractive? Or do you mostly find yourselves attracted to cisgendered people of whatever flavor revs your engine?
Well, I'm pretty sure my flavour is "rainbow," so yes. My current partner is trans, and so have most of my partners, long or short term, since I graduated high school. Part of this may simply come down to the fact that I already like both "male" and "female" parts, so nothing that's between your legs will be a dealbreaker for me. Unless it's tentacles.
[small]ohwhoamikidding[/small]
Yeah, I'm being simplistic. I just don't know how to phrase this in a way that's actually completely inclusive.
So Mars sort of talked about this, but I think it mostly comes down to proximity. I'd say security, except I still have trust issues from being screwed by the trans community in the 90s. So I guess I'm just dumb. But I'm generally around a disproportionately high number of trans individuals, which likely impacts my dating pool quite a bit.
Phasmal said:
At the end of the day, I'm not trans,
An outsider! Burn the witch!
so I can't claim to know how trans people feel about certain terms, but it takes no effort to listen to them about it.
ohwaityouweresayingsomethinghelpful
Cancel the marshmallows!
Worth pointing out a couple of things on this note, though:
One, you're probably not going to find any term that all of us agree on. My SO is involved in a fight on Tumblr over the use of the word "queer." This is especially awkward for me because I routinely refer to myself as queer (and only myself, for the record), and they seem to be taking the side of people who think even that's bad. Now, you're right, changing diction shouldn't be a big deal. "Oh, I stand corrected" is a valid response and really should be THE response.
Thing is, I've had more than a few trans individuals tell me what I can and can't call myself, just like the "queer" example. Saelune's response may or may not be misplaced here, and I don't care to find out, but it is not entirely misplaced. And I'm not just saying this because I spent the 90s being rejected by people who decided I wasn't "trans" enough because I didn't like pink dresses and playing house.
This is actually what SJW is ostensibly supposed to mean: people who claim to be fighting for social justice, but trample the people in question because it's more about self-righteousness than actually helping people. And this is a real thing. Kind of a shame it's really just a snarl word, and anyone who wants to have female characters in games or gay marriage or for transfolk to be able to pee where we're comfortable is labeled one, then. The unfortunate reality is there are people who are more than happy to dictate things for the rest of us.
I suppose that was technically two. I'm only awake because I was up all night sick and this may be impacting my counting skills.
Finally, there's the euphemism treadmill. For the same reason any term used to describe intellectual disability is likely to become an insult (moron, retard), any diction for a group people don't like is likely to become a slur. It can be exhausting keeping up with what diction is "acceptable," which I suppose circles back around to points one and two.
Saelune said:
Maybe when everything else is fine and dandy we can worry about the words, but there are far more important issues, ya know, like not worrying about wanting to use a bathroom.
Just as soon as we figure out how to separate the two....