Real men...

[The Rookie Gamer]

Drink Molotov Cocktails
Duel with swordfishes
Ride monster trucks to work.

What is the most ludicrous "Real men" thing you can come up with?

 

[El Poncho]

Shit chainsaws.
Eat a bear's bowels in the middle of fighting one.

 

[Sexy Street]

Real men floss their teeth with barb wire.
Real men Ride Bears to Work
Real men hunt with only their will.

 

[SnootyEnglishman]

To quote Boondock Saints 2

Real Men do not cry
Real Men Jack you in the jaw and say...

Thanks for coming out.

 

[Pips]

Real Men are secure in their masculinity, and thus don't feel the need to come up with ridiculous statements to shore up outmoded gender stereotypes.

 

[AetherWolf]

Play Kirby.

 

[Anarchemitis]

Go to Death's House
Kick the Door down
Shout "HONEY, I'M HOME!"

 

[cplsharp]

Real men eat a balanced diet and take care of their family. PRETTY OUTRAGEOUS EH ?

 

[nolongerhere]

Real men say "are you on your period?" When the missus is giving them hell.

Go on, try it, I dare you.

I think you misspelt single.

Real Men are secure in their masculinity, and thus don't feel the need to come up with ridiculous statements to shore up outmoded gender stereotypes.

However, funny men find the humour in the ridiculousness of it all.
Now if you excuse me, I'm going to get drunk on petrol and chop my own head off with a chainsaw.

 

[beer_nuts]

have 3 inch wing wangs

 

[Treblaine]

I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay
I sleep all night and I work all day

(Come on boys and girls, join in before the mods ban us all for Low content posts)

Heee's a Lumberjack and he's Okay
He sleeps all night and works all daaay

I cut down trees, I skip and jump
I like to press wild flowers
I like to dress in women's clothing
Aaaand hang around in bar

Stop that, this is silly.

 

[TeeBs]

Real Men talk about there feelings.

 

[Pips]

Real men don't click on threads just to make themselves feel bigger than others by spouting hippie bullshit.

Evidently no one realises that comments are meant to be taken with a pinch of salt unless you put "LOL JK" and a load of smileys at the end of them. Never mind; it can be difficult to get nuances across through text alone.

But, since you mentioned it: When did sexual equality become "hippie bullshit"?

Now if you excuse me, I'm going to get drunk on petrol and chop my own head off with a chainsaw.

Nice image. For some reason I imagined Jeremy Clarkson doing that.

 

[VaderMan92]

eat coal and crap diamonds.
battle communism.
women make them sandwiches without having to smack them.

 

[Quaxar]

Real men bumpfist a picture of Chuck Norris every day as a religious substitute.

Real men say "are you on your period?" When the missus is giving them hell.

Go on, try it, I dare you.

I have!

...

I'm divorced now.

So it was a yes then?

 

[theonlyblaze2]

Real men don't click on threads just to make themselves feel bigger than others by spouting hippie bullshit.

Evidently no one realises that comments are meant to be taken with a pinch of salt unless you put "LOL JK" and a load of smileys at the end of them. Never mind; it can be difficult to get nuances across through text alone.

But, since you mentioned it: When did sexual equality become "hippie bullshit"?

Now if you excuse me, I'm going to get drunk on petrol and chop my own head off with a chainsaw.

Nice image. For some reason I imagined Jeremy Clarkson doing that.

Sorry, dick friend took over my account. Though Real Men do eat Popsicles.

 

[Treblaine]

I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay
I sleep all night and I work all day

(Come on boys and girls, join in before the mods ban us all for Low content posts)

Heee's a Lumberjack and he's Okay
He sleeps all night and works all daaay

I cut down trees, I skip and jump
I like to press wild flowers
I like to dress in women's clothing
Aaaand hang around in bar

Stop that, this is silly.

I cut down trees, I wear high heels
Suspendies and a bra
I wish I'd been a girlie
Just like my dear papa

EVERYONE!

He cuts down trees
He wears high heels...
Suspendies and a bra?

And I'm Ok with that.

____

I love this thread, real men aren't afraid to sleep all day, chop down workers all night and spend all the time in between hanging around in bars.

 

[Quaxar]

So it was a yes then?

Turns out she was just batshit crazy all along. Imagine my surprise!

Whew. At least she had a consistent behaviour then and not a surprising outburst of crazeh.

 

[BiscuitTrouser]

Real men hunt with only their FISTS
.

Real men go hunting with their hands tied.

Real men go camping with nothing a hunting knife and a rope. Sometimes they leave behind the rope.

Real men look tough in every damn colour, be it pink or camoflage.

 

[manaman]

"Real" men try their hardest to be exactly like me.

Men however already know they are men and don't have to act at all in anyway to be men.