Really stupid movie ideas

[Barbas]

It's 1:32 in the AM here in Scotland. The alarm went off at 10 minutes past midnight and it's still going. We don't know how to reset it for annoying reasons that I won't go into. Suffice to say, they should have listened to me, the fools.

Anyway, I'm wide awake like a loris right now. So, let's pass some time by exchanging crap film pitches. Is there an actor or actress who doesn't fit in a certain situation? Shoehorn them in and tell us what would unfold. For bonus points, tell us about really bad acting choices in films. The remake of Psycho with Vince Vaughn, for instance. Or how about Shia LaBeouf in an Indiana Jones mov-...oh, wait a minute.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

 

[FPLOON]

-A mockumantary involving the making of the making of a mockumentary... loosely based on the stage play about making a stage play...
-A teen movie reenacted by babies... that includes the underage drinking and sexual intercourse...
-An art film about the dangers of walking at .000000000000001 miles per hour...

OT: A yoga-teaching superhero... Sure, it may not sound bad, but considering a possible cast for the lead superhero is Daniel Tosh, I would have expected it to be Amy Schumer or Abbi Jacobson at least...

 

[Fijiman]

Personally, when I saw the title for this thread I immediately thought of this.

 

[Skatologist]

The movie can actually exist, right? Anyways...I found this earlier this year and I was just like...this is either intentionally or unintentionally the worst idea for a film I've heard of:

Spoiler: Spoiler EDIT: Maybe considered NSFW?

 

[The Rogue Wolf]

Okay, so I'm thinking a star vehicle here in 1989. Racist American cop is forced to partner with a strait-laced Japanese investigator in 80's Detroit, already failing thanks to cheaper Japanese imports. They search for stolen supercharger plans and get into crazy hijinks! I'm thinking we could've used Pat Morita as the Japanese guy, and for the American... what the heck, let's throw in Jay Leno.

Spoiler: ...oh wait, that's been done....

 

[Rylot]

Adam Sandler loses his memory every night and every day is courted by Tyler Perry dressing as a different female sailor each day. Madea's 50 First Mates.

That was hilarious. The combination of awful and unfunny people might make it funny... Then again probably not.[color=f7f7f7]Nyutfg uc quora tog cho vura leraot= Cho teeja nechol nupoc voum ceak hel cho ollumg vei[/color]

 

[geK0]

The story of a sentient couch who endures being sat on and having Cheetos, Popcorn and pennies lost inside it until one day it decides "enough is enough" and embarks on an epic journey into the city of New York to prove it can be a broadway musical prop!

Staring Michael Cera as the couch
co-starring Kristen Stewart as the romantic interest
and Samuel Jackson as the main antagonist!

 

[TheRightToArmBears]

A Schindler's List remake, starring Mel Gibson. Give him directorial control as well, just for the hell of it. Don't tell me you wouldn't go see it.

 

[Barbas]

After Spoony's summary, I think I'd watch a series of sketches called "Bored Volturi" that featured nothing more than Michael Sheen and his co-stars bitching at one another about their dreary lives in Italy.

A Schindler's List remake, starring Mel Gibson. Give him directorial control as well, just for the hell of it. Don't tell me you wouldn't go see it.

It's be like asking Karl Pilkington to make a documentary about Chinese people, but worse.

The movie can actually exist, right? Anyways...I found this earlier this year and I was just like...this is either intentionally or unintentionally the worst idea for a film I've heard of...

Not as bad an idea as whatever Oversexed Rug-suckers From Mars turned out to be.

 

[Albino Boo]

A possessed wig takes over the mind of an American billionaire and forces him to run for the Republican nomination.

 

[Albino Boo]

After Spoony's summary, I think I'd watch a series of sketches called "Bored Volturi" that featured nothing more than Michael Sheen and his co-stars bitching at one another about their dreary lives in Italy.

Been done with Rob Brydon and Steve Coogan

 

[Barbas]

After Spoony's summary, I think I'd watch a series of sketches called "Bored Volturi" that featured nothing more than Michael Sheen and his co-stars bitching at one another about their dreary lives in Italy.

Been done with Rob Brydon and Steve Coogan...

What a disappointingly conspicuous absence of Michael Sheen. Looks like a good film, but I regrettably have to disqualify it from my crapalogue for the crime of actually being quite a nice idea.

 

[sageoftruth]

The heartwarming 3-hour tale about a forbidden romance between a peniless mime... and himself

 

[Neurotic Void Melody]

This is the most entertaining thread i've seen. Great idea, OP! Hope this gains popularity.
Damn, Sandlers been taken. Ok...wolverine, coming of age drama with the main plot of human centipede. Wolverine could be a victim, hero or main antagonist...either is entertaining in it's own horrifically messed up way.


Actually no...a reboot of the third human centipede...with the above plot. Because fuck you! This film is bad, right?

 

[busterkeatonrules]

SNIP

I may own a battered old VHS copy of The Dark Backward. (I say 'may' because I have no idea where the copy is - or whether or not it has deteriorated to the point where it is no longer watchable.)

I did watch it once, though. And it was glorious.

On topic: Unnecessary remakes. On a conceptual level. Yup. Best I can do. Trying to imagine, from scratch, a laughably awful movie concept that isn't already in preproduction somewhere is at best a Herculean challenge in this day and age.

 

[Queen Michael]

A remake of the Marx Brothers classic Duck Soup with the main trio played by Adam Sandler, Rob Schneider and Jack Black.

 

[Asita]

For the sake of a bad example? Can you just imagine the pitches the folks at Pixar made for their films? "So we want to make a movie about a rat who wants to be a cook." "Oh you mean like Mickey Mouse?" "No no no, not a giant mouse standing in for humans, an actual rat in a human world." "So he's cooking for other rats then and has to deal with cats to get the ingredients?" "Oh heavens no. He'll be trying to make it in a gourmet restaurant for humans." "And the humans are ok with this?" "Nope. They'd kill him on sight." "Well how can he be a chef in a gourmet restaurant then?" "He'll be friends with one of the humans and act through him." "By talking?" "No. He'll control the guy like a puppet by tugging on strands of hair!"

Spoiler: ...That's ridiculous.

Spoiler: Done

 

[Dizchu]

A docu-drama/biographical film about Charles Darwin...

...written and directed by Kirk Cameron and Ray Comfort.

 

[SweetShark]

You know, even if I or others say a stupid Idea for a movie, someone maybe have a ability to make it something enjoyable for us to watch.

So for example If I say "A movie which there is an incarnation of Hercules as a chimpanzee." [which it was being satire in the old Hercules series], maybe there is a Movie Director out there who can make it work.
Maybe as an animation, maybe as a comedy, it doesn't matter, if the movie is good, the director done his/her/(its?) job.

 

[bartholen_v1legacy]

A remake of the Marx Brothers classic Duck Soup with the main trio played by Adam Sandler, Rob Schneider and Jack Black.

Pfft, Adam Sandler would never hire Jack Black as long as he's got his favorite fat friend Kevin James by his side. Pee and fart jokes, ahoy!

OT: Spirited Away... as an American remake... where it's a high school instead of a bathhouse... with Chihiro played by Nicola Peltz (the chick from the latest Transformers and The Last Airbender)... Jai Courtney as Haku... directed by M. Night Shyamalan.

A live action Berserk... with Nicolas Cage as Guts. Can you picture the overacting already?

But on the other hand, there's a fantastic movie idea that's just waiting to be realized: an M. Night Shyamalan movie with Nicolas Cage. Doesn't matter what it's about, just let the Cage flow.

And finally, there's a movie called One-eyed Monster, where the disembodied penis of Ron Jeremy terrorizes a group of people in a mountain cabin. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0988043/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1