Rejection

[Palademon]

I've been rejected once and from that experience I can say handling it involves being fine with reasonable terms, getting on fine as friends, then her lying, then a feeling of injustice, then depression, then lose further faith in humanity, then lose a friend.

 

[PixelKing]

I come in, Down a bottle of coke, Put on really loud music and just forget the world around me.

 

[Dark assassin for hire]

What I did when my girlfriend broke up with me was:
Push my self away from lots of people
Become slightly suicidal
Scream and cry
hate everyone
and more....
this... did nothing for me... avoid doing those things.

 

[WendelI]

I would make a turn gay comment but it's been done... So my real advice here is go smash something of little importance in an isolated place. It works for me it might just work for you.

 

[Mister Benoit]

I try to do stuff that exhausts me and stops me from thinking.

After a 4 year relationship ended about 4 years back I ended up picking up a gym membership and went just about every day for 2-3 hours.

Try to keep myself busy as much as possible and stop myself from having too much time to think to myself.

 

[WingedIncubus]

Pain from rejection? Nah, I just skip to the next piece of ass giving me eye contact.

Don't give them this satisfaction that they can hurt you. Without that power there's nothing she can do to you. Being hit in the face hurts, being rejected by a broad who doesn't know better doesn't.

 

[Sir_Auron_the_Badass]

We've all been through it, we all know the pain. What do you, my fellow Escapers (not sure about the actual term for this) do to dull that pain?
For me, its some chilled music and games. Chatting to mates can also help a lot.

I accept that I was rejected, put a smile on and move forward? That person may be nice, attractive, or unique, but no means no. Also, there are plenty of other people out there I could be pursuing and wasting time being all hung up on rejection doesn't seem smart to me knowing that.

I wish I had your optimism, but being 0 for 10 for even getting a first date is taking its toll on what confidence I have and makes me start thinking that I'll always be alone. The thing is, I don't just go asking out girls just because of their looks (the one time I did, she way OVERREACTED by slapping me and kicking me in the crotch in the middle of school), so I don't think I'd ever be the type to go to bars to hit on girls. I try to get to know them a bit for their personalities and interests to see if we'd be at least a bit compatible. The few times I actually find these type of women they're either already in a relationship, genuinely not interested in dating at the time, or pull the "friend's zone" bullshit. It doesn't help that I'm dense when it comes to reading body language, so if any women have been subtly flirting with me, they're waiting for me to make the first move and I blow it.

OT: Probably sulk a bit more than most people and play some mind-numbingly violent games to dull the pain. I don't have any friends close enough to help me sort out my messed-up emotions unfortunatly.

That is a good way of doing things though. Asking out people solely because of how they look usually offends them because there is more to a person then what you see on the outside. I don't believe in the friend zone, to be honest. I feel it's a nicer way of saying "I like someone else and in reality I am in your position". 9/10 of the girls I know and the ones I have asked about this simply say they'd rather not be mean and tell someone outright that they like someone else, and using the friend excuse is a lot better. Personally, whenever I was asked out by someone, I told them no and I told them the real reason why. When it comes down to it, some people are just into someone else by the time you get to them, and that can't be helped or fixed by any kind of looks, body language, or any attribute on your end. You know?

Don't let it get to you. It took me 2 years since I started looking, from the age of 16 to 18, in order to find my first boyfriend. It takes time and lots of other circumstances can influence someones decision as well.

Thanks for the feedback good madame. The big things that I've been through though that kinda keep me down is that I've been at it nearly 10 years with no success, most of that time I suffered from clinical depression and a sever anxiety disorder, but now that I've mostly gotten over those personal issues, it seems that engineering students at college aren't allowed to have a life... It's hard enough finding time to meet with friends now, let alone look around for potential girlfriends.

P.S. to anyone that thinks I shouldn't be looking for a relationship when I'm this busy should hold their tongues. I don't deal with extreme loneliness that well, and I've had an "itch" for companionship for a bit now that a normal friend wouldn't be adequate enough to help.

 

[Kraj]

Has never happened to me honestly. EDIT sounds pretentious, and for that I apologize.

Guess I'm lucky like that.

Now loss. That's certainly a pain I'm familiar with. /thread.
manly tears, pool at the bar with my best friends, more manly tears...
swim laps a while.
that usually fixes it within a month or two.

 

[Feralcentaur]

Move on and don't get obsessed and depressed over it? (hehe that rhymed!)

 

[Snake Plissken]

Booze.

Booze fixes everything.

 

[loserpersona]

I've never been so interested in pursuing relationships that I've had the experience of being rejected much. Just the once. Took a very long time to know how to react because the rejection wasn't really direct so much as him floundering in indecision over the years over whether he liked me or whether he considered me just a friend. Still, it's been a long time ago (damn near a decade ; ) - he's one of my best friends still - I'm over it - and I don't regret one second of it, even if it resulted in nothing, because the minute chance of having him as my own was worth the heartbreak.

If I ever actually fall in love again, I'd do it all over again even. If it's worth it, the rejection doesn't matter to me much.

But I'm pretty oblivious on the lovecraps so I don't see much of that happening. I might accidentally trod all over anyone else's feelings with my obliviousness though. =.=;;

 

[warprincenataku]

First, there is no such things as rejection. It merely means try harder.

Secondly, if you DID get rejected it's probably because you inadvertently see your signts too high. Why don't you scale it back to something more obtainable like that cleaning job or your second cousin.

And yes, I have felt the horrible sting of rejection, that's the last cousin I ask out to prom.

 

[FalloutJack]

Eh, I've got better things to hold a grudge on. To each their own. And if there ain't no grudge, then there ain't much pain involved. I can respect a decision and find someone else to warm up to.