Relationship Deal Breakers: The Other Side

[Biosophilogical]

I'd say that a general point that people seem to find strange about me is that I do not drink very much. I am not against alcohol on any principle, but getting drunk is not something I particularly enjoy, and while I am happy to have a few drinks, I don't want to end up unable to walk very often.

I am not a party animal. Linked to the above, it's not that I am anti-social, but I'd rather hand around with a small group of people maybe having a few drinks, and a laugh, talking about stuff than going to a huge party full of strangers and getting off my head. I just don't enjoy being around random inebriated people.

I am somewhat similar, but also notably different.

Firstly is that I am rather introverted a lot of the time (I am perfectly fine by myself, and I don't feel the need to socialise frequently), so there's that. Second is that I do not drink (at all, also no smoking, or illicit substances, the most I use is caffeine, and that's only because I like coffee, tea and chocolate, I rarely go out of my way to get caffeine). Thirdly is that I am ADHD-inclined (in that I am not diagnosed, but I am further up that end of the spectrum than most), and it really shows in social situations, as I tend to become very energetic and vocal, and my mind goes racing ahead of my mouth (pretty much always in a positive and happy way, but still, I can see how it might get tiring), and I also dance when I go out. I'm talking full-blown, drunken-hippy, let-it-all-out dancing (minus the drunk, and the hippy).

Oh, plus I'm asexual, so that seems like a bit of a friend-zoner at my age (19, if you were curious).

 

[an annoyed writer]

Alright, I've got quite a few dealbreakers that would repel many people.

-First of all: I'm a project. I'm not a person who is the "pick up and play" type, who can easily bond with people. I didn't grow up in an easy home, and the scars show, both physically and emotionally. Don't come near me if all you want is sex.

-I don't drink or smoke, and I'm not a party animal. I'm pretty introverted, and I'm generally uncomfortable with people I've just met. If I can't hold a conversation with you, that's not a good start.

-If you put me in a situation where I have to pick my interests/friends/other important thing or you, you're not going to be my pick. I will never lose what makes me myself to cater to someone. I'm never going to give up my closest friends (a pyromaniac ninja and a BDSM enthusiast who knows a few too many dick-jokes) because without them, I'd be dead. Simple as that.

-I'm not in the best of shape. While this is currently being worked on, it's not something that's easily ignored.

-I'm an atheist, and I outright refuse to be converted. If you don't like that, and want me to look at all that your religion has to offer, tough, because I probably already have examined it, and I didn't like what I saw.

-Finally, the elephant in the room: I'm a transgendered woman, and I know that's not for everyone. If you don't like it, I just have one thing to ask: don't bully us. We're not the bad guys here, we're not trying to mutilate the genitals of your children, and we certainly aren't forcing anything upon you. We just want to be treated like what we are: people. Sure, we might have different issues and challenges than you, but we're still just like you in what we are at our core: human beings. When you vote on issues like our rights, keep in mind you're hurting people if you vote against them. I don't want to hurt you, so please don't hurt me.

 

[Mr Mystery Guest]

Being poor. Having to work six days a week and yet still have to get a mortgage to buy someone dinner is not conducive to getting a date. "Leave my fries alone and no you can't have dessert"

 

[Bat Vader]

I never thought about it before but I have number of things that would be considered relationship deal breakers.

I am very socially awkward to the point where I start to panic if I have to interact with anyone that isn't a close friend of mine. I am also pretty overweight as well although I am working on losing weight; The process is pretty slow going.

I am really bad with trusting people. It takes years and years of me knowing someone to trust them and call them a friend. I am pretty selfish and devote most if not all my free time to doing solitary activities and don't wish to be bothered by anyone. I don't want to have any children.

I am really pessimistic. I have a painful physical disability and I tend to be really grumpy because of it. I don't have that much self confidence either.

 

[mrhappy1489]

If I had to say anything, it's that I have difficulty starting a conversation with people when I don't know them and when I do, I have a tendency to diverge into 1 of two subjects, modern history and geography. No joke, someone at my work went on a holiday to the USA (I'm Australian) and didn't have a clue about half the places she'd been to. Simply using the way she travelled (north to south) and the various landmarks (Large university building, so on) was able to determine a large percentage of the places she had gone to. Everyone thought I was quite strange for a while after that. Also that particular city was Pittsburgh and the building was the Cathedral of Learning, featured in the Fallout 3 dlc The Pitt. Also I like a couple of instrumental and chamber music groups, Caspian, Apocalyptica and Howard Shore, which puts people off for some reason.

EDIT: If anyone here likes Howard Shore, you are awesome and have great taste in both music and film. Plus Americans should be proud of something like the Cathedral of Learning, people bag them over here, but I don't see any 153m buildings built for the express purpose of learning.

 

[Sandjube]

I am always right....okay I'm just really stubborn.

 

[Spinozaad]

I have got some characteristics (I'm rather blunt, I enjoy controversy, I gravitate towards arrogance at times, etc.) which might put others off. As opposed to you teetotalling snoozefests, I do enjoy a drink, so most of you would already dislike me. ;-)

But my social life consists of semi-arrogant pricks willing to tell you the cold, hard truth while nursing alcohol or a hangover. So all is well.

 

[MetalMagpie]

I like arguing and I'm strongly non-religious. Those two points combined make me a bad choice for anyone who is religious. I'm pretty intolerant of people smoking around me (although I'm English, which means I generally just make a grumpy face rather than actually say anything), so not good for a smoker. And I'm terrible at remembering birthdays, anniversaries, etc.

Last February I was really pleased that I remembered to buy my brother a birthday present without the usual assistance of parental prodding and/or calendar reminders. Then I got back home from the shops - practically glowing with pride at my achievement - and was faced with my boyfriend holding a box of chocolates. At that point I realised it was Valentine's Day.

I hear for some people that sort of offence is a deal-breaker. Luckily, my boyfriend is a) very forgiving and b) not massively bothered about Valentine's Day anyway. He's also non-religious and a non-smoker, so I seem to be sorted.

 

[Wolf-AUS]

I'm sure I've got a fair few. But I'm fairly happy with who I am as a person and how I would be in a relationship. Granted, I don't think I'm compatible with a lot of people. I guess I'll give the best list of my negative traits I can think of.

1. I drink, heavily at times. And because of some things that have happened in the past I can get quite emotional after drinking. Not violent or anything, but sad.

2. I'm incredibly independent, I don't deal well with being smothered.

3. I used to use (or abuse depending on your viewpoint) certain substances.

4. I like to dress well and maintain a certain appearance. I've been mistaken for gay multiple times, so I guess I must give off that look. However, I'm incredibly comfortable in my sexuality and more importantly I pride myself on looking respectable and sharp.

5. Apparently I'm conceited enough to think there's not many things wrong with me

6. I'm emotionally quite reserved. I don't like to open up and share things with them. I guess I'm kind of scared if people know me that intimately they'll dislike it.

Overall I'm a pretty decent guy though, I'd much rather talk about my positives instead of focusing on the negatives XD

 

[Puffnut]

I'm at that age where most girls with boys are indeed the skinny ones who dye their hair and may or may not have misplaced most of their wardrobe. Since I behave like and have the voice of a guy (I've actually been mistaken for a guy in voice chat), I am probably not getting any for a large number of years unless someone wants a manfriend who is actually a girl. Also for some reason any Asian who isn't incredibly thin and pale is at an immediate disadvantage.

I'm also hugely judgemental and most people need to prove they aren't what I initially thought them to be in order for me to bother with them (and sadly I'm not often wrong about people). And if my views are different from someone I might enter a discussion in which I rebutt their opinions until they want to kill me and sometimes I don't even notice I'm doing it.

And I'm really picky about personality. Looks are nice, but if I know I can't get along with someone I won't even try. I'm hugely blunt and I seem to see the world in a different way from everyone else since I notice semantics in things no one else does and bring them up often which is annoying to a lot of people.

I'm happy with of all these qualities but I'm aware that they cause some friction with people.

 

[A.A.K]

God where do I start.../

Physically?
- I've broken my nose, cracked over half of my ribs at some point.
- I generally sport a skin-head hair cut or a mohawk.
- My usual attire is either my training gear or a leather jacket and black jeans. My girlfriend often jokes I look like I'm about to break something off someone.
- ... and I'm planning to get tattoos down my left forearm, on my upper-right arm and on my neck.

Personality?
- I'm antagonistic; I've been that way since I was a very small child. I'm polite and civil to most people, but unless I know you intimately - I don't like you and I don't trust you.
- Relating to the prior point, I have no respect for people. Again, I'm polite and civil to you, but I don't have any respect for you, and will need a solid reason before I give it to you.
- I enjoy black humour and 'realistic slapstick'. I find it funnier when the guy gets knocked out when he's hit with a chair - then when he reacts to it verbally.
- I listen to...a lot of jazz, blues and classical...up to death metal and underground hip hop. People my age don't like any of that.
- I smoke cigars, and I'm a wanker with my alcohol. I only drink hard spirits, I don't ever go near cocktails and I spit red label. It's disgusting.
- I like learning philosophy, I like learning about religion, and I hate talking to anti-theists, active atheists, verificationists, and their opposites (God-squadders, bible bashers, religious zealots, etc).
- I hate parties, clubs, 'get togethers' and large crowds. I'm not introverted however and can quite easily talk to people.

Psychologically?
- I've got a history of fighting,
- Most of my friends are psychos,
- I sleep with and carry a blade,
- and I have a knee-jerk reaction to strike. (though have never needed to do so with the blade. Relax you people!)
- Example? I sitting in Uni, in my own world, when someone I was 'supposed to know' came up and put me in a headlock, I slammed his head into the table.
- I was walking home and my girlfriend thought it'd be absolutely hilaaarious to jump out of a bush-behind the fence corner, to surprise me. I stopped my hand about half an inch from her neck. (Fortunately, in 3 years I've not once ever hurt her or otherwise laid a hand on her in a confrontational manner. I find people who do that are animals.)
SoOo...I'm broken, but the military psych examiners, as well as my own psychologist believe that it's not as bad as it may initially seem since all of my psychological problems can be summarised in 2 conditions.


...Why my girlfriend stays with me...is beyond me. She's the complete opposite to my character, yet she says she's the one who needs ME.
Weird that.

 

[Vegosiux]

I hate small talk.

When I'm tired and/or stressed, I'm not exactly nice.

I don't want kids or a family.

I'm not much of a cook and don't like to spend too much time on food (both preparation and eating; and you have no idea how that can lead to conflict!)

I like my creative disorder.

I'm very territorial about my computer/phone/etc.

I absolutely refuse to do any of the courting stuff. Get to the point or stop wasting my time is my attitude. (Note: "The point" means "Just give me a straight answer and quit it with the hint droping and compliment fishing")

 

[NoeL]

Two things:

1) I'm too perfect
2) I'm bad at finding faults in people

 

[Mr Fixit]

Lets be honest here, I'm an asshole & I admit it. I try to keep it to a minimum, most people think I'm a really nice guy, but some people just bring out the worst in me. I'm brutally honest & alot of people can't handle that kind of truth. It takes a very determined & strong willed woman to put up with me & unfortunately not many women where I live are like that. And apparently the fact that I'm not a dumb drunk redneck idiot is a turn off too.

 

[Scars Unseen]

I'm the kind of guy that can just sit down and think about things. I dislike it when people assume that my silence means I'm waiting for them to start talking, so I'm often abrupt in my responses when someone is intruding on my thoughts. This is rude of me, and I know it. I don't care. Somehow I got married anyway, but between this and the cultural/language divide(my wife is Japanese), this trait of mine does spark some arguments.

 

[Girl With One Eye]

Well shit...where to begin?

I don't drink, smoke or do drugs
I don't go to clubs or bars
I'm religious
I'm argumentative and stubborn
I have a LOT of baggage/trauma
Not particularly attractive or intelligent
I say the word **** a lot

 

[VeryOddGamer]

I stutter sometimes, so that might bug someone.
I talk quite fast and I'm not very athletic, if you know what I mean.
Some of my friends have called me annoying.
I don't give a damn about my appearance or fashion, so that might also bug someone (I find it an admirable trait), and overall I wouldn't consider myself very attractive.
I'm very introverted, I mean, right now I spend pretty much all of my spare time in my room either on this very computer and sometimes the Xbox 360.
And of course, very shy.
But I'm pretty sure no one I'd want to date would mind these... qualities.

I might also mention the fact that I pretend to be a narcissist to hide my inner insecurity... but that's a discussion for another time.

 

[Zhukov]

Oh hell yes, another opportunity to tell the internet about my personal flaws!

- I have all the physical raw sex appeal of your average warthog. Large, hairy and unfit.
- I'm socially clueless. I'm that guy who starts laughing a couple of seconds after everyone else.
- I'm quiet as hell. I've gone for days without saying a single word. (Once at work I tried to talk and only a croak came out. I'd lost my voice without realising it.)
- I'm something of a contrarian. I'll pick an argument and play devil's advocate just for the sake of it.
- I'm not intelligent, although I can sometimes fake it.
- I have a sense of humour that could be called wry at best.
- I'm selfish about how I spend my time.

 

[DugMachine]

I smoke cigarettes and marijuana.
I'm very quite but when I do speak I have an extremely loud voice.
I apparently have a very sarcastic tone... I'm sorry it's just my voice :/
I would rather stay home and play games than go out.
I'm not always clamoring for sex (some chicks have crazy sex drives)

 

[The_Waspman]

Hmmm, this should be easy, since its something I think about constantly.

If I'm being honest, I would say that I'm quite good looking, I'm reasonably funny, I'm smart, y'know, most of the boxes...

Trouble is, none of it really meshes. They're all disparate elements. I'm fairly awkward physically (especially, it seems, when attractive women are around). I'm not overly confident, I have zero social life, and, well, the biggest one probably is that I'm not sexy.

Oh, my personality sucks too.

I can be a bit of a rage machine at times too.

EDIT: Oh, I've got another one! My voice really sucks. Like, really. I hate hearing my voice the way other people hear it, it makes me fucking cringe.