Relationship Deal Breakers

[Johnny Impact]

I'm in for all of OP's plus the following:

1) Drunk. A couple every once in a while is okay, but the very first time you knock on my door at 4am totally shitfaced and expect me to deal with you, it's over. Also applies to pot.

2) Smoker. Tobacco is vile, filthy, and inexcusably disgusting. I will not have it near me. Hard drugs are also out.

3) The One Way Street. Nobody's perfect, everyone's got some kind of issue, I get that. I don't for one second believe I am entirely stable, myself. I'm fine with being supportive. I'll listen to your problems, hold you if you need to cry, all that stuff. I'm in, 100%. But it's got to go both ways. Men have needs, too, and I'm not talking about sex. You need to be a reasonably stable, mature, supportive human being in return. I am not your emotional punching bag.

 

[DkLnBr]

Other than the expected things such as cheating, I would say that the deal breakers are:
1. Anti-theist: I'm fine with atheists in general, I just mean the more fanatic individuals (while we're on topic, the more fanatic religious individuals are out too, going overboard the other way isn't any better)
2. Being a smoker and/or heavy drinker
4. Similar interests and views: We would need to share at least some interests, so we can do something together we both enjoy. Similar views more so to minimize friction.
5. "Wrong" personality: Think like the overly obsessive girlfriend meme, but also if they're high stung and overly anxious about lots of little unimportant things.
6. Eating disorders: So long as you fit reasonably well into a healthy weight range then I'll be fine, But not if you're obese/anorexic.
7. Bodybuilder: Exercise and staying in shape= good! I dont mind if she's physically stronger than me, But the muscle-bound bodybuilder chick is a no go

 

[II2]

- Common sense grivences (I realize that can very greatly person to person what's reasonable, but whatever)

- Not being good, giving and game: anyone who wants to be in a relationship, but is not reliably sexually and emotionally available, or worse holds it hostage as an emotional con.

- Trying to switch between monogamous or 'open' after it's been established one way or another.

- Isn't interesting / bad attitude.

 

[Musette]

I don't really find myself romantically attracted to people (or anything else for that matter), but I do have standards concerning who I develop friendships with. Is that close enough?

If you ask me, trust and respect are the two overarching factors.
-I am a naturally trusting person who has had to become more cautious over time because of people betraying that trust. If I don't trust you, I don't open up, and I don't usually want to interact with you.

-If someone acts disrespectful to myself, my friends, or to themselves, I also tend to get put off. I think being disrespectful of the self/others can cover a tendency toward risky behavior as well, since I don't like watching people binge drink or do anything potentially illegal, and I especially don't like when people try to pressure me to follow suit. I also dislike when people are disrespectful toward others, which extends to general bigotry and plenty of other socially unacceptable actions.

I guess I made this response vague because trust and respect can encompass so many elements that make or break a relationship. Communication is a big deal, though I think that's mostly something noticed in practice rather than when deciding who to interact with, and it can be an extension of trust if you ask me. Other gripes are small enough that they aren't really deal breakers, though I will admit that I have trouble dealing with people who are passive aggressive for long amounts of time.

 

[Rose and Thorn]

Ok this is a bit confusing for me. There is two kinds, deal breakers before a romance and deal breakers during romance.

I'll name some for both, if I can think of any. This is all my opinion.

Deal breakers before a relationship.

- Smoker. (I am fine with weed, and I did date a guy who smoked cigars once in a while and I didn't mind. As long as they don't smoke cigerattes all day. It is gross, unhealthy for both them and me, and it just turns me off.)

- I won't take a second look at someone if I think they are a bully or callous. The bad boy/girl routine doesn't work with me.

- Usually if someone is really into sex, I won't have any desire to date them. I mean a horny person that is REALLY into sex. I don't dislike these people, as they are good for having sex with, but I wouldn't want to try to date them, even if they did say they want to and the sex was really great...that is a cheat waiting to happen.

- If I think you are fake, which seems to be half the people in Toronto.

That is pretty much it for first impressions, I generally don't write someone off until I really get to know people and if it seems like we aren't compatible then thats that.

Deal breakers during a relationship

- If you break-up with me, don't count on me taking you back. This has happened.

- Obviously if you cheat on me it's over. I am very much about love and romance. I like to commit myself to someone, so threesomes are usually out of the question.

- Wanting to have children is usually a relationship ruiner for me. My ex-lover wanted to have one, one day and I said I am too young to want or even decide if I want one in the future. That was not good enough, so my lover kept nagging on and on about it. Eventually that lover actually left ME for someone that did want children. So it isn't a deal breaker for me...but it is better if they just don't want a child.

- If I don't trust them, and/or they have given me enough reasons not to trust them. I would most likely end it.

That is all I can think of...hair length, religion, height. None of that really matters to me, like someone above said no short hair, that seems a bit crazy to me. I would prefer a romance to be around the same body type as me, but it definatly isn't a deal breaker.

 

[Rose and Thorn]

2) Being a bad debater: I'm fine with differences in opinion (within reason, wouldn't date a Nazi for example), what I don't like is people who get angry or annoyed if you happen to disagree with them

My last relationship was like this. He didn't seem to understand what an opinion was, if he thought something was the best, it was the best. I also hate that.

Muffin tops- Don't want none of that.
Bisexual- I have certain 'tastes'.
Non smoker- Need someone to curb my bad habits
420 friendly- Self explanatory.
Not being one of those ***** girlfriends that keep giving you shit for bullshit reasons. I want someone that understands that I want to play Halo for 5 hours straight.
Good in the sack- Making love has too feel good and not like bending a steel pipe. I could go into details, but some vegan femminist would probably call me degrading to women.

Much love.

Your post made my eye twitch after I read it. You can take that however you want to. XD

 

[ZZoMBiE13]

Getting a boob tattoo. Instant deal breaker. I don't mind tattoos. Just not there. Boobs are God's perfect creation, don't mess with it.

 

[Phasmal]

Uh, deal breakers... lets see, standard ones, no cheating and that

-No smoking.
-No drugs or excessive drinking.
-No mummy issues (or issues with women in general).
-No temper problems.
-No (or mild) religion.
-No vegetarians or vegans (I'm sure there are many nice ones but we just don't mix).
-Must care reasonably about appearance and take care of hygiene.

I think that's pretty much it.

 

[chaser5000]

I can't date someone who is emotionally dependent or needy, I am related to enough emotionally dependent and needy people. No smokers, just hate the smell and it makes me sick. No one who is so absolutely sure of their beliefs that they can't compromise. People who are squeamish about sex, I like people who like to try new things and experiment.

 

[0p3rati0n]

Ok, In no particular order, here we go *cracks knuckles*

-Cheating: No shit
-Intolerance to political or religious views: You can have your opinions, but don't be a *****.
-Extremely religious: I'm an agnostic atheist (pretty sure that's right). I'm pretty sure there will be a lot of problems if I'm with someone who is extremely religious.
-Drug use: I don't give a shit if Pot ever gets legalized. It smells like shit and that get's into the carpet. Alcohol is ok as long as it's just that every now and then with your friends at the bar or partys.
-Controlling behavior: Look I'm an easy going guy. I'm usually pretty laid back about thing. If you try to change who I am or control my actions that's it you're out.
-Body building: I'm fine with a girl who has some muscle on her. Though there is a threshold were I'm just turned off (not sure where is it though). It's not that it's a threat to my masculinity. NO! It's just freaking weird and kinda gross. Trust me body building is just gross and weird on guys too, so it's just that idea and act all around.
-Fake Tits: I can just hear every man in a 10 miles radius gasping in shock from this. Look I find that act completely distasteful and disgusting. Fake Tits just shows me that you have no self-esteem and you are willing to bend to the weight of society. I want a real women, not someone who thinks they need to have a curtain image.
-Lying: canadamus_prime said it best "Don't lie to me. Simple enough. Now to clarify, I'm talking major lies here, not the harmless white ones, although I'd prefer if they refrained from those too."
-Physical violence: I'm fine with playful physical violence (Who isn't?), but doing so in malice is just out.

I could probably go for a while, but I'll stop here.

 

[clippen05]

1: Smoking: Sorry, but I refuse to put up with that shit. My lungs have been ruined enough by ingesting the Second-hand smoke from my father who refused to smoke outside or quit. It's probably the most disgusting habit I could think of.

2: Drug Use: I don't have a problem with drug users, I just wouldn't want to date one. Too many variables. I don't want to have to fulfil the addiction financially nor do I want the associated legal troubles and nor do I want my house to smell like weed.

3: Can't be overweight. I just don't find heavy-set women attractive; there's nothing that will ever change that.

4: Cheating and dishonesty... kind of a given

 

[darkfox85]

What's your deal breakers in a relationship...
6. Trying to Kill Me

Wait, WHAT?!
... I can't get over that! You'd think that'd be a given. And it's eerily specific. Yeah, a turn off for me is boiling my pets alive. Sorry. I'm scared to ask bro. The rest of this is basically the same as my own.

But I'm disappointed to see so much "no smokers" up in here.
Smokers need love to! :-(

 

[StriderShinryu]

Outside of the common ones, a biggie for me is smoking. I wouldn't see someone who smoked and would stop seeing my otherwise wonderful girlfriend if she started for some reason.

 

[DrunkOnEstus]

Oh wow, do I feel absolutely filthy...luckily for me I'm already married and not looking to date you folks. I smoke 2 packs a day, pretty emotionally fucked from an interesting life, though not clingy/demanding/pressuring about it. I'm overweight, but it's more a muscle/big build guy than tons of fat. I play a lot of video games and when I feel like making music I want to be left the hell alone.

The point of all this is that I'd actually like to thank you all for actually making me feel grateful that my wife thinks I'm somehow the coolest dude ever. I'm incredibly fond of her as well, so good luck on your respective searches, strict people : )

 

[disgruntledgamer]

I like how trying to kill you comes after getting fat.

LoL like that do you. In my defense I never said they were in order of severity. If I were to put them in order of severity it would be, Listening to Justin Bieber first with getting fat as second.

 

[disgruntledgamer]

@OP: Really? Justin Beiber is a deal breaker for you? Wow... that is so... ok, whatever.

I don't always agree with you but I know right. A deal breaker being something so small as liking different music seems petty to me also.

Yeah listen to one of his albums from start to finish and come back and tell me that.

FYI obvious joke is obvious.

1: Smoking: Sorry, but I refuse to put up with that shit. My lungs have been ruined enough by ingesting the Second-hand smoke from my father who refused to smoke outside or quit. It's probably the most disgusting habit I could think of.

Forgot about smoking added it to my the list with another one.

 

[Queen Michael]

1. Being very much anti-theist. I am religious so I think it wouldn't work if someone was very much against religion

2. Being very left wing. Same as above.

That's it, I would imagine.

Really? You wouldn't care is she/he ran around with all your friends or behind you back?

You didn't include anything about not dragging you to neo-nazi rallies or trying to kill your mom. A fella can't include every gosh-darned thing on the list.

My list:

1. Using snuff. Way too common here in Sweden, and I would never date anybody who uses it.

2. Being skinny. Sorry, I like corvy girls. Plus-size people. Voluptuous Veni.

3. Having political views I strongly disagree with.

4. Using drugs.

5. Not liking comics. It's one thing if you're not interested in superhero comics or the more stereotypical kind of manga, because evrybody's got stuff they don't like, but to discard all comics of all kinds... Nope. Can't take it.

6. Being very new-agey. Not my thing at all. I once dated a girl who thought she could speak to spirits and see into the future, but that actually still worked out because she rarely talked about it, and we accepted that we had different opinions about whether that stuff is real or not. (It helped that she had F-cup breasts, green hair and a great sense of humor.) But if a girl talks about that stuff constantly, then nope.

7. Cheating. The girl I mentioned above cheated on me. I broke up with her.

 

[gigastar]

Well, among the obvious cheating, verbal/physical abuse, certain behaviour-altering drugs, murder attempts and STD's, deal breakers for me include...

If im going to spend my life with someone, i want them to have a certain level of intelligence and understanding.

I want nothing to do with religion, do it yourself but leave me out of it or we are going to have a big problem very quickly.

On a side note, that goes triple for cults if they are involved.

Im not a natrually socialable person, attempting any kind of "fix" is a surefire way of gaining resentment and is generally a waste of time.

I like my videogames, only death will change that.

I like my books, only arthritis will change that, in which case ill get an e-book reader.

Smoking, not just for health reasons but also that i hate the smell it produces.

Theres probably more, but they dont spring to mind right away.

 

[The Unworthy Gentleman]

OT: Right wing views would be difficult though maybe not a deal breaker. People that get really cuntish when they're on their period is a no go, it's just fucking irritating and it's not a good excuse. People who object to the use of drugs, vegans and others who limit their options based on false morals. Fatties don't happen, nor do people who put in no effort. Controlling is piss poor, though I can feign subversiveness for a short while. Seeking constant validation is poor, maybe not a deal breaker but it'd definitely stop a relationship.

Essentially: not a ****, not boring and restrictive, attractive.