Review: Splatterhouse

[Reaper69lol]

Just another example of how the games industry, as well as the people who buy these kinds of games, seriously need to grow up

That is a very bold statement there, I would be careful when saying something like that. You got to consider that some people enjoy over the top and silly games such as splatterhouse. Not every game has to be mature and realistic. Sometimes a total lack of realism and over the top silliness provides the best escapism and most fun, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

 

[k-ossuburb]

Out of everything, the loading screens are what annoy me the most, I honestly don't mind the rest. I think you need to be a very specific type of person who really loved the original games and are into the whole exploitation cinema thing.

I am one of those people, I know it's stupid and over the top, I also know that the controls are a little dire sometimes and that it's not incredibly inventive but sometimes you just have to ignore all the in-depth gameplay mechanics, high definition graphics and amazing story line and just enjoy something stupid.

It's like whenever I pass up watching the latest blockbuster movie in order to watch Santa Claus Conquers The Martians or The Evil Dead. I've always had a soft spot for campy, kitsch little guilty pleasures and this game is definitely a neat distraction away from the usual fare.

It's the first time I wasn't disappointed when a game didn't completely deliver what it originally promised, it never promised to be much to begin with and that's alright by me. So, in conclusion; it's not impressive or amazing, but it's fun if you want to just pass a little time and fits right in alongside your collection of 80's Italian and Japanese horror films.

But, like I said, you have to be that specific type of person.

 

[Gentleman_Reptile]

The only thing I care about is this is the first game I've seen in at least a year that has actual, decent pre-rendered cutscenes.

 

[MawLoK]

ummmmm, ahhhhhh, ummmmmm, i didnt like it.

 

[MawLoK]

ummmmm, ahhhhhh, ummmmmm, i didnt like it.

 

[someotherguy]

The only thing I care about is this is the first game I've seen in at least a year that has actual, decent pre-rendered cutscenes.

Blizzard wept.

 

[darkmalteaser]

this game looks like loads of fun nd no not 13 im a 23 family man

 

[DeathChairOfHell]

i feel like buying this just for the hell of it

 

[AKmontalvo]

No amount of nostalgia for the original can stop me from returning this game and performing an exorcism on my Xbox.

I just wanted u to be aware that when i read this i laughed so hard i left the room and came back when i had calmed down, am im usually one of those people who just huffs and smiles when i find something funny so waay kudos

 

[Brian Hendershot]

No amount of nostalgia for the original can stop me from returning this game and performing an exorcism on my Xbox.

I just wanted u to be aware that when i read this i laughed so hard i left the room and came back when i had calmed down, am im usually one of those people who just huffs and smiles when i find something funny so waay kudos

Thank you. I am glad my suffering could make you happy.

 

[Greg Tito]

i feel like buying this just for the hell of it

Well, what did you think of it?

 

[JonMcCunty]

Municipal waste is gonna fuck you up! (The song at the end was by them, they are a thrash band from Richmond VA. On topic, I find myself oddly opposed to most of the opinions that Greg Tito has on this game, as I do on most of his reviews. I find it irritating the way he judges games like he is so much better than every developer or game designer. It's condescending and just really bothers me. On topic, this game looks like a lot of fun in a simple kind of way. Some games know what they are trying to be, and I could see that really working for it. I encourage any fans of good trash to look up municipal waste.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7MXPMLHiYc <--- Why its so good

 

[DeathChairOfHell]

i feel like buying this just for the hell of it

Well, what did you think of it?

well it seems kinda good, and i'm not really a guy who gets tired of games after an hour, so perhaps i'll buy it.

 

[Superior Mind]

Too much of a goo thing.



No that wasn't a typo.

 

[proghead]

You had me at "boobs"
Seriously though I'll probably rent this out and give it a try.

Really? With all the free pr0n on the net?

 

[duchaked]

That detail would be bad enough, but then Splatterhouse features the most annoying loading screen ever created by humans. A random enemy from the game disgustingly growls, moans and writhes on the screen for 30 seconds every time you die.

hahaha that made me lol

ehhh brawlers never interested me too much but maybe someday a friend of mine will have this game and then maybe...or a rental idk

 

[Slarg]

I respectfully disagree with this review almost 95% of the way. The Loading times are annoying, yes, but that is about it. I went into this game knowing it was going to be a mindless brawler, and I thoroughly enjoyed it.

First of all, the story: The story is exactly what it needs to be: Your girl is kidnapped, your dead meat, but you get a second chance so you can get the bastard who did it to you. Honestly, any game that says it's the bloodiest is not trying to woo you with a story. Anyone going into this expecting Bioshock is setting themselves up for disappointment.

The Combat: The combat is visceral and bloody. Like other users have said, you can rip arms off of your opponents and beat them to death with it, or you can use your own severed arm. Or you can use any weapon from the original games. Weapons do not break easily, unless you use them on the larger enemies, which causes weapons to break in one hit, the exception being the Shotgun.

As for the game being "a step back for the medium as an artform": Games do NOT HAVE to be art. Games are interactive, not watchable. While I enjoy my Bioshocks, my Brutal Legends, and all other video games that could be considered Art, I play games to have fun, and "mindlessly" ripping apart uglies is a good way to have fun.

Now, as for the boobies, I have two things to say: First of all, you do not have to collect them. The only reason you would want to is for the Gamerscore, and I'm sorry, personal view upcoming, but if your only in games for the gamerscore, you are what is killing this hobby.
The Second thing about the boobs, is that this game was made to be a B Horror Game. B Horror has three things in large ammounts: Swearing (Check), Boobs (Check), and Blood (Double Check). So it has a purpose being in there. This is coming from a nineteen year old who has been gaming for eleven years, FYI.

In closing, this game is very, very good, as long as you know your just going into it to rip some people apart. Don't expect to come out of it with modified views of the world.

P.S. The Splatterkills (QTE's) in this game are the only QTE's I have EVER enjoyed playing in a game.

 

[Prince Sikes]

OMG WTH IS WRONG WITH MOST OF YOU!!! ugh sorry not to be mean but the metal the blood the tits and the games in it is epic if this is a game you dont like then dont respond to this if you love this game (is so brutal ripping sphinkters heads and arms off) then plz feel free to comment on this now if anyone says this is a bad game well .... its your opinion me and my brother play it everyday and its so epic so there