Review: Velvet Assassin

Jiki

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Jan 21, 2008
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Susan Arendt said:
Which version are you playing? I was on the 360 (which I utterly neglected to indicate in the review -- shall fix that right now).
Under "version" I meant more like "graphics settings", but in the pursuit of clearness - the PC version (also, I think it should be noted that the game offers no demo for the PC version which only encourages piracy instead of ... I don't really know what they're trying to do, hide the game's failures?). By the way, I think your version is quite clear to anybody who actually watched the video. :p Still, also for a need of clearness, I figure the addition does no harm, only the opposite.

On a another side note (this closer to the subject though) - I liked how you stayed clear of the "real life vs fiction" controversy. One site actually didn't want to review the game just because it twists real life in such a way and so doesn't show enough respect to the actual character (I figure it's got something to do with morals and stuff, but since I don't really believe in these false abstractions, I find such statements naive). Me, I think the developer's are just quite stupid. I've long since lost hope in ever finding out why people want their games to be so reminiscent of realism, but I figure that's somehow connected to this case as well and also one of the reasons they chose a real life figure as a premise. I personally think a fictional one would have worked better for at least one big reason - real life is often boring and if not boring, at least nothing to make a game out, especially the life of a real spy (couldn't really imagine a game based on John Le Carré), so in order to make it playable one has to create their own story, but through creating their own story they loses the need for the real life character since this isn't a story about the specific person anymore, but about something completely different, as is the case with Velvet Assassin. So using Violette is nothing but a publicity stunt, in this case sadly a very naive one.
 

Susan Arendt

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Jan 9, 2007
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You all laughed at the pattern. WELL WHO'S LAUGHING NOW? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

In case you were wondering, its me.
 

Susan Arendt

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Jan 9, 2007
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Jiki said:
Under "version" I meant more like "graphics settings", but in the pursuit of clearness - the PC version (also, I think it should be noted that the game offers no demo for the PC version which only encourages piracy instead of ... I don't really know what they're trying to do, hide the game's failures?). By the way, I think your version is quite clear to anybody who actually watched the video. :p Still, also for a need of clearness, I figure the addition does no harm, only the opposite.
While it's always important to note which platform you played a game on, it's even more important to note since the release of Force Unleashed, which was incredibly buggy on the PS3, but not on the 360. Our review (which was of the PS3 version, but originally failed to note that) mentioned the bugs, which left folks who'd played the 360 version scratching their heads in confusion.
 

itdoesntmatter

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Dec 11, 2008
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neuromasser said:
Yay! Susan's voice! Wait... she doesn't sound pleased... why? Who made her angry? ...what? Replay Studios? I'm onto you, bastards!
Good to see i'm not the only one who watches these to hear Susan's soothing voice :)

As always, a nice review, and thanks for reminding me why i was avoiding this game...
 

Novacain4862

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Feb 12, 2009
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Oh you guys, but I do have to agree I like her voice too. Also, Susuan what do you as a reviewer do with games after you reviewed them? Give them away? Sell? Or just leave them be?
 

TheBlackKnight

ESEY on the Kross
Nov 3, 2008
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Susan Arendt said:
Wow, you really thought Violette was pretty? From the neck down, sure, she's totally yowza, but man, I just thought they did horrible things to her face. Really poor skin tone, for example. Well, I thought so, anyway - tastes do vary.
You should try to dig up some of the early dev shots of the game, before they decided to sex her up.
like the one in this review.

http://www.games32.com/Velvet-Assassin-(PC)-News/p2002_articleid/3493
 

the_tramp

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May 16, 2008
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I've been half and half about this game. It looks like a really interesting and unique premise but I've only heard bad things since it came out. I quickly googled some pictures of Violet and I have to agree with your poor skin tone assessment.

Hmm... Well I still feel obliged to give it a try so I'll probably rent it after I've finished my Uni exams (Which I should be revising for now). Thanks for the input and your review.
 

Moriarty

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Apr 29, 2009
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"Das Zeug schmeckt wie die Socken vom Sturmführer"

mahahahaha, that's quite good for an american production
 

Slycne

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Feb 19, 2006
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Moriarty said:
"Das Zeug schmeckt wie die Socken vom Sturmführer"

mahahahaha, that's quite good for an american production
Velvet Assassin was actually made by Replay Studios, based in Hamburg, Germany. So I guess that explains the German dialogue.
 

Susan Arendt

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Jan 9, 2007
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Novacain4862 said:
Oh you guys, but I do have to agree I like her voice too. Also, Susuan what do you as a reviewer do with games after you reviewed them? Give them away? Sell? Or just leave them be?
I use the boxes to build a fort.
 

Rascarin

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Feb 8, 2009
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I really didn't think the game was as bad as the review says it is. It's definately not a great game; but I fail to find anything I particularly disliked about it, except the last bit of the last level. The ending was undeniably bad, but the gameplay itself held up.

Sneaking around the germans gets easier once you learn how they behave. If you sit still after alerting them, they will almost certainly find you, but if you stay mobile you can almost always avoid them. I quite liked morphine mode too; I thought it was well executed, and a nice touch. The visual effects were pretty cool, to me.

Also, I thought Violette was pretty good looking - considering how most women in games look, I was quite pleased to find that she wasn't just a pair of boobs with legs. A believable body shape gets a thumbs-up from me. The only thing I thought about her face was that it looked really young.

So, its not bad - it doesn't do anything too wrong. But I'll certainly agree that it could have been better.

Edit: Also, I was disturbed to find that my hairstyle is often eerily similar to Violette's, where it all sticks out on one side. I don't do it on purpose, I swear.
 

FelixofMars

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Oct 31, 2007
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I paid £28 for this at release so under the RRP of most game, I knew it was going to be a bit average anyway but I must say I was pleasantly surprised and I think that it isn't as unforgiving as made out, would you sit next to an open door even if your where supposedly hidden?

Sometimes the soldiers do suddenly turn as you are going in for the kill but I can't say there have been lots of times I have thought the AI was out of order for spotting me.

Either way the German voices are good and the Violette's voice actor is good up until she pronounces route as rowet at which point I started losing my trust in the game.

I don't mind collecting stuff in games and didn't mind the hidden items to get XP upgrades and even the special puzzle based items you can find like the wind and the statue. At least it isn't as horrible as the flag collection in Assassins Creed which I refused to collect for the G's.
 

Kohlrabi

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Nov 11, 2007
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I think shoulder switching was in Splinter Cell: Chaos Theory, or in Double Agent, don't know which it was.
 

nixomose

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Apr 24, 2009
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Good dancing near and around the whole nazi thing without coming off as the racist we all want to be deep down inside.
Incidentally my zero punctuation tshirt agrees. And I'm tremulating as I say this.
 

Captain Pancake

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May 20, 2009
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I just loved the detail of "press A to kill"

if only things were that easy in real life...

P.S. Am i the only person in the world that likes the german language?
 

Kirosilence

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Nov 28, 2007
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I had a feeling, deep in my gut, possibly close to my liver, that this game wouldn't fly very far. Seems I still have some semblance of intuition when it comes to games.

Captain Pancake said:
P.S. Am i the only person in the world that likes the german language?
My third favorite language!
 

Parsnip

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Jun 26, 2008
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I didn't think it's as terrible as most professional reviews make it out to be. Brad at GiantBomb pretty much destroyed it as well, and the metacritic average is down in the dumps.

Sure, it's not perfect, could have used a lot of polish on some areas, but it has a lot of good qualities.

And I think people play it wrong, based on the video reviews I've seen.

And like in the video companion thing to this review, the part about silhouette and how Violette should be hidden, it only really works if they aren't searching for you or checking out suspicious sounds. The soldier clearly heard something suspicious, came looking, stood right next to you and found you. There is no mystery there.

Just saying.
 

Clashero

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Aug 15, 2008
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I played this at a friend's and decided it was a thoroughly average game. So many games have done stealth better than this one.
I liked this review.

Yes, this is a pretty simple post. I'm just not feeling creative today.