Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted but now you will die due to the awesomeness or something.

I wish I remembered to post here more.

 

[steeple]

granted, your internet you dies out, have fun!

I wish to be able to read faster (without my head exploding, of course)

 

[Eumersian]

Granted. You read so fast, that you have no idea what you just read and have to start over, every time.

I wish for another pie.

 

[Athol]

Granted; it tasets terrible.

I wish...for a fish

 

[Eumersian]

Granted, but you must find it?

Spoiler: with these people.

I wish for excess awesome.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted, but it comes in the form of awesome mucus! It's twice as awesome as your previous mucus!

I wish for an ungranted wish.

 

[Eumersian]

Granted. God sees through your attempt at cleverness and rocks fall. You die.

I wish for better cooking skills.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted, you now know how to cook feces two thousand different ways!

I wish to meet people from the Escapist.

 

[Eumersian]

Granted. Turns out, we're all assholes.

I wish for some motivation.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

You are now on fire. Motivation successful.

I wish for something to crush me.

 

[souper soup guy]

Granted, you are crushed on by a 300 pound woman.

I wish for the power to control all of time.

 

[Daffy F]

Granted, but you can only stop time once, and only for one second.

I wish for a pony! :3

 

[souper soup guy]

Granted, but you're an old pony, and you've been taken to a place called a "glue factory"

I wish I was omniscient.

 

[Eumersian]

Granted. All the information is too much for you to handle, and you asplode.

I wish for "asplode" to be a real word.

 

[staika]

True, but the grammar nazi's have a great uprising and the world is sent into WWIII and the world is destroyed in the process! Hope it was worth it D:

I wish to be in a fantasy world

 

[Eumersian]

Granted. Grammar Nazi world.

I wish people would use grammar good more.

 

[Loki Cain]

Granted, now no one ever posts anything.

I wish i had a jet pack.

 

[staika]

Granted but it explodes before you can use it D:
and it burns your house down >.>

I wish people would follow my lead

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted, they all follow your lead and die from the poisoning!

The person below gets their wish uncorrupted. That's my wish.

 

[souper soup guy]

I wish that your wish doesn't come true.
And then the universe exploded.
I wish that I could wish for things in legal language.