Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted, its the one your murderer is using to suffocate you. Sweet dreams!

I wish for another day off.

 

[steeple]

granted, you're fired...

I wish it was october already...

 

[Eumersian]

Granted. This unauthorized modification of time and space has upset the balance of the universe and you will have to pay dearly.

I wish for an ocarina of time.

 

[Urgh76]

Granted; but you can only travel backwards, and must relive the past 3 days over and over and over and over.

I wish for the Midas touch

 

[steeple]

granted, you then remember you cant digest gold... have fun starving...

I wish I was a level 10 vice president...

 

[Eumersian]

Granted, but all the things that happen in the story happen also here.

I wish for a new forum game to waste my time in.

 

[Urgh76]

Granted, [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/362.310767-Three-word-drama#12599864] but this one's almost dead already.

I wish for a hat

Spoiler: This exact hat to be more precise

 

[Urgh76]

I wish for cake

granted.the cake is definitely real,and looks quite delicious,from a distance...it is a urinal cake,which is oddly shaped like a normal cake.many bothans died to bring you this information.


I wish I had a bothan errand boy.

You.. You just won everything.

I'm in class dying right now because of you xD

Well done... really well done

 

[AwesomeExpress]

Granted, that hat is in the mail on its way to you right now. [/blatant lie]

I wish Russ Pitts wouldn't leave.

 

[StormShaun]

Granted, except he will only do articles about stuff you hate...such as...ponies!

I wish I had a sword of lightning.

 

[The Thinker]

Granted, but it shocks you and you die.

I wish the mean person controlling my mind would return the power over my mind back to me.

 

[AwesomeExpress]

Granted, they do so for a couple minutes, but only to tease you and they take it right back.

I wish for the right to party.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted, you do lose your right to choose your religion. The government now says everyone is a Scientologist.

I wish for Frieza.

 

[steeple]

Spoiler: granted, he comes as a bundle with this guy...

I wish to plant a flag on proxima centauri (and have it actually stay there instead of melting)

 

[The Thinker]

Granted, but you melt.

I wish to gain the telepathic powers necessary to defeat the mean guy and take back my mind.

 

[staika]

Granted but it destroys your mind and leaves you on a vegitative state.

I wish for a sweet hat.

 

[StormShaun]

Granted but you become Pyramid head grape...wait, thats good!

I wish for a utopia mansion.

 

[Robert632]

Granted. It's so awesome, you never leave it, so you are presumed dead y everyone. Your mansion is then inherited by your next of kin. When s/he discovers that you are alive, s/he kills you.

I wish I didn't have to do a captcha for this post.

 

[The Thinker]

Granted, but The Escapist is over-run by spam bots.

I wish tea would restore my mental state from its current vegetative position.

 

[steeple]

granted, a piano falls on you

I wish for a level 4 sentry