Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[Robert632]

Granted. Every single one of them ends up being in the trash through various wacky hijinks that also result in you going to the hospital for a sextuple bypass.

I wish for more.

 

[Dr.Susse]

Granted you get MORE SLEEP!

I wish for another beer.

 

[Diablo1099_v1legacy]

Granted, but you jacknife your bus.

I wish to skip Human Resources Class

 

[M0rp43vs]

Fine but on that day, they decided to make good on the name and completed a project that would use humans as a resource in a manner that indescribably painful and uncomfortable.
They decide to use those who skipped that class as the first test subjects

I wish my business plan was done so I don't have to worry bout it

 

[Diablo1099_v1legacy]

Granted, But its done very badly

I wish for a cloth to wipe my greasy hands with (It's lunch over here)

 

[Robert632]

Granted. It's such a used cloth that you get even more grease on your hands.

I wish for a list.

 

[M0rp43vs]

Granted, But its done very badly

Pfff, like that'll bother me(I seriously hope none of my group members frequent here)

Granted, it's a to do list for the end of the day. It's several feet long. You don't finish it, you exploding collar around your neck explodes

I wish for a wish

 

[QuietCupOfTea]

Granted, but someone ruins it for you.

I wish I could draw faster.

 

[Dr.Susse]

Granted but you draw at a speed where the paper you're using ignites.

I wish for a quiet nap.

 

[Diablo1099_v1legacy]

Granted, you die in your sleep.

I wish for some Vodka.

 

[Dr.Susse]

Granted it's mixed with drain cleaner.

I wish for the worlds best moustache.

 

[Diablo1099_v1legacy]

Granted, leading to years of "WHERE YO CURLY MUSTACHE AT?!" (MVC2 referance)

I wish for UMVC3

 

[Robert632]

Granted. You get an Untimly Missed Visitor of Canada... 3 times.

I wish for more acronyms.

 

[Eumersian]

Granted. Now everything is an acronym for everything and those things are acronyms too. Acronymception, if you will. This unending confusion destroys your life.

I wish for a friend.

 

[steeple]

granted, you're now stuck with me, forever and ever and ever!

I wish for a dramatic sound-effect

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted but it is played so loudly you lose all your hearing.

I wish for the wall beside me to be made out of a stronger material.

 

[steeple]

granted, it's now made of steel, but it's the fourth wall, and you have no choice but breaking it!

I wish to be able to lean on the seventh wall...

 

[staika]

Granted it breaks and destroys the universe, nice going

I wish I could rule the world!!

 

[Dr.Susse]

Granted but because of a clerical error you have to measure the world with a ruler.

I wish for a never ending supply of socks.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted, they all emerge from the dryer ripped up and mismatched for all eternity.

I wish for plasmids.