Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[Dalek Caan]

Granted, the bio weapon confuses negative and positive. It kills you with deadly toxins thinking it might make you healthier.

I wish to be a Gargoyle, like the one from the cartoons.....Not that I watch those anymore.

 

[Dr.Susse]

Granted take you pick

I wish I could see all of time.

 

[MammothBlade]

Granted. It blinds you instantly.

I wish I could understand the Elder Scrolls without going blind.

 

[Philol]

Granted, but you get sucked in and never stop playing.

I wish I wish I had a fish.

 

[scorptatious]

Granted, you get a hungry shark that eats you on the spot.

I wish I wasn't procrastinating right now.

 

[TheEmoSpeeds666]

Granted, but the thing you were procrastinating over is the end of the world.

I wish that England would win the 6 Nations.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted but then the UK is invaded by 7 nations.

I wish for a less achy neck.

 

[Dr.Susse]

Granted now you have no neck.

I wish I could eat leaves for power.

 

[Philol]

Granted but you have vicious diarrhoea for the rest of your life.

I wish I had robotic arm.

 

[TheEmoSpeeds666]

Granted, read this:
http://bigbangtheory.wikia.com/wiki/The_Robotic_Manipulation

I wish for £100

 

[Philol]

Granted, but you get mugged as soon as you have it.

I wish I some chips right now.

 

[Dr.Susse]

Granted it hails chipping your windows.

I wish for a jetpack.

 

[MammothBlade]

Granted. It malfunctions at the worst possible time. You don't survive.

I wish I could learn the ultimate world destruction magic...

 

[Philol]

Granted, but you destroy yourself with it.

I wish I had an empire.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted but the modern version of Genghis Khan slaughters you and everyone you love.

I wish for money.

 

[Robert632]

Granted. You drown in a sea made of money.

I wish for a talking cigarette.

 

[Dalek Caan]

Granted, the cigarette cannot be smoked and hates you.

I wish for End War.

 

[MammothBlade]

Granted. The disc is broken.

I wish for a crossover game between Shin Megami Tensei and Pokemon.

 

[Philol]

Granted, but it is never distributed or sold.

I wish for quiet.

 

[pyramid head grape]

...

I wish for loud!!!!