Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted, enjoy the hundreds of stalkers.

I wish to no longer be sick.

 

[MetaKnight670]

Granted, you are now dead.

I wish the good movies would actually be released in my home town theater.

 

[Teoes]

Granted. Coming soon[footnote]in fifty years[/footnote] to a cinema near you!

I wish for a pen that never runs out of ink.

 

[kailus13]

Granted, it has no nib.

I wish I didn't have to fill in captchas.

 

[thesilentman]

Granted. I hope you like playing a chess grandmaster.

I wish for some more patience.

 

[Teoes]

Granted - you are now a saint and, therefore, dead.

I wish for Miracle of Goats to be my ringtone.

 

[kailus13]

Granted, but now it never stops playing.

I wish for a monkey butler.

 

[Hemlock]

Granted, it serves poop instead of food.
I wish for a box.

 

[kailus13]

Granted, the box is full of bees.

I wish for fish and chips.

 

[Teoes]

Granted, but it's really cold and greasy and bleurgh.

I wish to be casually sitting outside in a beer garden, supping a nice cold pint with friends.

 

[MetaKnight670]

Granted. But that one pint costs you all the money that you could ever make in your life, including future money made, every last penny.

I wish that the night would last FOREVER! Muhahaha!

 

[thesilentman]

Granted. You will die shortly after, as all the plants stop making oxygen after stopping photosynthesis.

I wish for less work today.

 

[MetaKnight670]

Granted, you finish 5 minutes 23 seconds earlier than normal. However this labour turns out to be the most back breaking work you have ever done, literally breaking your back.

I wish that I had superhuman strength.

 

[Teoes]

Granted, but you can't control it. Look out world, when you sneeze.

I wish for x-ray vision.

 

[kailus13]

Granted, you can't turn it off. Hope you like seeing skeletons forever!

I wish for mind control powers.

 

[Dr.Susse]

Granted but you can only control gold fish and they always seeme to forget your orders.

I wish for no hangover tomorrow.

 

[thesilentman]

Granted. You die.

I wish for the fastest reflexes in the world.

 

[MetaKnight670]

You now have the fastest reflexes in the world. Which isn't saying much of course, because the only thing left on the world except for you is turtles. So yeah, I guess you are still the fastest in the world...

I wish I could be a great Quarterback like Drew Brees.

 

[thesilentman]

Granted. You lose your legs the day after.

I wish to be immune to all these newfangled wish requirements.

 

[MrCollins]

Granted, but you get no benefit from your wish, you have wasted a great opportunity.

I wish that there was peace on earth.