Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[EeveeElectro]

Granted, but everywhere you go is unsafe so you don't dispel it. Eventually you start to live in your own filth and eventually dispel it to take a shower but get jumped on by tigers. xD

I wish for the whole of 2012 to be wiped from my memory!

 

[LordofHeart]

How did tigers get into my shower? XD And I guess it's a really good thing I'm paranoid and keep a shotgun next to my shower. XD

Granted, by through some strange course of events, 2012 was a major big deal, and you don't remember any of it and nobody is allowed to say what happened that day so you're permanently out of the loop.

I wish I was a powerful Shard Caster.

 

[username sucks]

Granted, you can now cast shards at your own flesh.

I wish I knew what a shard caster is.

 

[LordofHeart]

Granted, you will now get a lengthy explanation as to what a Shard Caster is. A Shard Caster is something from an anime called Kiba, these people are able to draw 'Soul Shards' from strange 'tattoos' on their body and these Shards are the basis for a sort of magic. The shards look like small coloured marbles, each colour representing a different element. Shard Casters are also able to summon Spirits to fight by their side. Weapons in the world also work with these Shards, but so far from what I've watched only melee weapons exist in the world. A sword would be just a hilt with a number of slots for the Shards to go in and then the blade forms from energy. Spears, Axes, Daggers, a unique Mace thing, & Shields also work on this principle, albeit Shields can also be summoned using just Shards.

I wish for a pristine, modernized castle, fully staffed with people loyal to me and only me, fully armed, with a piranha filled moat, and a drawbridge as well as enough money, legally obtained, to fund the castle, pay for the staff and up-keep of the armourments, and to feed the piranha as well as the staff and myself, along with anyone I invite over.

 

[KOMega]

Granted, you get a pristine, modernized castle with all the finishings. It includes your loyal payed staff, fed piranha filled moat pool and enough supplies to last you for a while. All located in scenic middle-of-nowhere. Enjoy the fabulous sights, such as moldy-stick-in-the-yard, funny-shaped-rock and horizon-filled-with-nothing.

I wish apples were a non-lethal, edible fruit.

 

[LordofHeart]

Good thing it's modernized and thusly has stellar entertainment systems, and I won't have to worry about any annoying neighbors or anything! XD

Granted, however since apples are already non-lethal and edible, your wish did absolutely nothing, and I've ruined it for you.

I wish that I could legally, no matter where I was, do anything I wanted to. For instance, I could walk into a bank, get behind the counter, simply by asking if I wanted, and take as much money as I wanted, and no one would so much as raise an eyebrow to it.

 

[Not G. Ivingname]

You are now have the ultimate get out of jail free card! Every constitution of the world has amended, your picture and name is handed out to every police department in the world. Sadly, you were killed when a policeman's gun legally had an accidental discharge. And not a single eyebrow was raised that day.

I wish reality shows were about reality.

 

[Teoes]

Granted, but what's happened is that reality has warped to be like the "reality" TV, not the other way round. Thanks for making everyone into Jersey/Geordie Shore-alikes.

I wish I had more patience.

 

[KOMega]

Granted, you now have all the patience in the world. You can wait out the rowdiest of storms. In fact your new philosophy tends to just be to wait out everything. As a result nothing ever gets done.
Well at least you have your peace of mind.

Granted, however since apples are already non-lethal and edible, your wish did absolutely nothing, and I've ruined it for you.

Obviously my wish came true starting from the beginning of time. You're welcome. ;P

 

[KOMega]

whoops forgot my wish. Sorry >.<

Granted, all the leftover pizza in the world is sent to you. Oh boy.
That piece over there has a bite mark on it and a pair of underwear.
This piece here is kinda soggy. I'm not sure with what.
Oh and worst of all, I found a piece with olives! Bleh!

I wish I was less forgetful.

 

[StormShaun]

Granted, you didn't nitpick as much BUT now you pick off your skin.
One particle at a time ... it's going to take a long time for that.

I wish for Saints Row 4. T_T

 

[username sucks]

Granted, but the copy you get is more buggy than the initial release of New Vegas.

I wish I could defeat my Escapist nemesis, Fijiman.

 

[Dalek Caan]

Granted, but to do so you must push a large square boulder up a 89 degree slope.

I wish I was Ghost Rider.

 

[Jolly Co-operator]

Granted, but you don't know how to ride a motorcycle, and you can never learn.

I wish that mosquitoes and other annoying insects would stop bothering me.

 

[KOMega]

Granted. Bugs detest the very thought of you.
In fact your repellant nature is so strong it repels all insects out of the earth.
The ecosystems of the world fall apart.

I wish I had a bag of infinite bananas

 

[LordofHeart]

Ganted, but there's no way that all of them will stay fresh and soon they're all spoiled.

I wish I had a jar of dirt.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted but it is full of flesh melting bacteria.

I wish for a way to escape the consequences of this wish.

 

[LordofHeart]

Sweet! Now I have a jar of dirt AND flesh melting bacteria! =D

Granted, but the device explodes after one usage.

I wish for the ability to actualize anything at a thought but only at a purposeful thought, no accidentally releasing a Reaper or something like that, and that anything actualized was under my complete control.

 

[Teoes]

Granted, but you're struck down by a bus that wasn't under your complete control and you're no longer capable of purposeful thought.

I wish I had spicy chicken wings.

 

[LordofHeart]

Granted, but the chicken wings are so hot that they make The Source look like a Bell Pepper, which is to say that they're so hot that the moment you bite down, not even chew or anything just bite down on it, your whole body combusts spontaneously.

I wish for immortality, invulnerability, and eternal youth and could grant this ability upon anyone of my choosing along with the ability to adapt to anything, such as being frozen, my body would heat up and melt the ice, if it was hot outside, my internal temperature would lower to compensate, i.e. Darwin's mutant ability.