Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[KOMega]

Granted, you can now duplicate fruit pastilles packaging.
You can now fill them with whatever you want!
Like fruit pastilles.
If only you had more.

I wish I could play the trombone.

 

[Dalek Caan]

Granted, everytime you play it you loose a bit of your soul.

I wish it would rain more.

 

[Yuno Gasai]

Granted, but it rains so much that everything is flooded. GG.

I wish I was better at MOBA games.

 

[Dalek Caan]

Granted, you become so good no one ever wants to play with you. You go insane from loneliness.

I wish that I had a wolf pup for a pet.

 

[OmniscientOstrich]

Granted, the canine in question will be sent into a murderous frenzy any time a two syllable word is uttered.

I wish there was a Subway store within 5 minutes walking distance of my house.

 

[username sucks]

Granted, but it has neither employees nor food.

I wish that captcha would be normal instead of advertising stuff.

 

[Not G. Ivingname]

Granted, no more advertisements for you!

Spoiler: Now, to continue breathing, you must prove your not a soulless robot.

Spoiler: I wish that you would make a contract with me.

 

[Teoes]

Can I ruin your wish by failing to comprehend it?

I wish I could comprehend Not G. Ivingname's wish.

 

[KOMega]

Granted, You understand Not G. Ivingname's wish to some extent and become a magical girl who fights witches.
You don't make it past episode 3. No one gave you any heads up about that. Whoops.

I wish I was immune to fear.

 

[username sucks]

Granted. You become a professional daredevil and die in a horribly entertaining accident on live TV.

I wish I had ice powers.

 

[AZT00Z]

Granted, but the only thing you can do is turn yourself into an ice sculpture with no way of reversing it.

I wish I know what to wish for.

 

[KOMega]

Granted. You now have the power to freeze and turn liquids to ice on touch. Your blood gets frozen.

I wish for a cardboard box.

I have been ninja'd on both sides.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted but your one wish has been wasted in the process.

I wish for less sneezing.

 

[KOMega]

Granted, you will never sneeze again.
Your nose eventually clogs up and you have no good way, or at least easy way, to clear it up.

I wish for a cardboard box.

 

[Teoes]

Granted, but it has been sitting outside in the rain so it's all soggy and smelly.

I wish to be left alone.

 

[KOMega]

Granted. You find yourself in a deep dark pit in the middle of nowhere. Not much to do in the pit.

I wish for a headband.

 

[Yuno Gasai]

Granted, but it doesn't fit your head, and wearing it for more than 10 seconds gives you a terrible headache.

I wish I had more time.

 

[username sucks]

Granted, have three seconds.

I wish for five dollars.

 

[Not G. Ivingname]

Spoiler: Granted, here is five dollars straight from Fort Knox

I wish for a wish granter who will not ruin my wish.

 

[Teoes]

Granted but it will instead ruin the lives of everyone around you, and they know who's at fault.

I wish for a fresh and tasty bacon roll.