Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[QuietCupOfTea]

Granted, but whatever you do you can't get it open.

I wish for a good night's sleep.

 

[Barbas]

Granted. Vaermina's curse of week-long sleep upon thee!

I wish for a day out with Wallace and Gromit.

 

[Bizzaro Stormy]

Granted. They're convinced you're evil and will do whatever is necessary to stop you...

I wish for the snow on the ground to continue melting.

 

[Barbas]

Granted. METEOR SHOWERS!

I wish for aliens to land on Earth.

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, they landed on the Earth you're not a part of...

I wish to play a game!

 

[Barbas]

Granted. This game is called "Russian Roulette"...

I wish for a good Fable game.

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, you can never play it...

I wish for a return to glory!

 

[Barbas]

Granted. Welcome to the Roman Empire. Please choose your gladiatorial weapon.

I wish for a space race.

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, it will be too wacky to the point of immediate death... (Don't speed, kids...)

I wish I could catch 'em all!

 

[Barbas]

Granted. All the STDs are now yours!

I wish I had a hammer.

 

[FPLOON]

Granted! It should be sticking out of your bleeding head by now...

I wish for my next wish!

 

[Rabbitboy]

Granted. But I used it before you could.

I wish this thread would just close down.

 

[Barbas]

Granted. The government's sending hazmat people to kill all of us, yadda yadda blah I wasn't really listening to the call.

I wish for a better mousetrap.

 

[FPLOON]

Spoiler: Granted!

http://i.ebayimg.com/00/s/MTIwMFgxNjAw/z/QyQAAOSwq7JTzDfd/$_35.JPG

I wish for more cowbell!

 

[Barbas]

Granted - please enjoy this avalanche of cowbells, courtesy of Will Ferrell (in character as some guy).

I wish for doggies.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted but they all get lost in a tragic traffic catastrophe.

I wish for more good 16GB RPGs.

 

[Barbas]

Granted. All of them are in Japanese and none of the characters know how to put on clothes properly.

I wish for the stars.

 

[Rabbitboy]

Granted, But you get to close and bur to death.

I wish for the power to turn invisible whenever I want.

 

[Barbas]

Granted, but people will become enraged and attack you whenever you become visible again.

I wish for noodles.

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, Naruto will eat them all right in front of you...

I wish to date Jenny Craig!