Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[Eumersian]

Granted. Just be careful next time you walk outside.

I wish for a silvery pair of science glasses.

 

[Link_to_Future]

Granted. A nice tomato and motor oil blend.

I wish for a sentient supercomputer.

 

[Link_to_Future]

Granted. But her vocal abilities are stuck. She can only say "You are not a good person. You know that, right? Good people don't get up here."

Over and over and over and over and...

I wish for more repetition.

 

[Link_to_Future]

GG: oh nooooooooooooooo

Erm...

Granted. Hope you like that nerve gas she's releasing into your room now.

I wish to drown in an ocean of potatoes.

 

[Link_to_Future]

Granted. But alas, he is called back to hell for the sake of the apocalypse.

I wish for more obviously fake accents!

 

[Link_to_Future]

Granted. Darkpectilis causes genitalia to rot off. It was named after you because you were the first documented case.

I wish for more creativity.

 

[darth.pixie]

Granted. You are flooded with an immense amount of ideas and suddenly people are carting you off to the funny farm. Hope you like padded walls.

I wish for a bigger, non-cracked/chipped coffee mug.

 

[darth.pixie]

Granted. The cat finds the duck, eats it and gets diarrhea. ([small]mug stealer[/small])

I wish for a Basilisk War Droid.

 

[Link_to_Future]

Granted. Unfortunately, neither of us knows the effect.

I wish to see the next wish.

 

[darth.pixie]

Granted. You can see everyone's next wishes, but nothing else.

I wish I had a dancing llama.

 

[Link_to_Future]

Granted. You urinate fire now.

I wish for a bear trap on my hand.

 

[Link_to_Future]

Granted. Your personal hell is deprived of any sexual ideas.

I wish to drill to the center of the earth.

 

[darth.pixie]

Granted. The center of the earth was actually hollow and you are eaten by a dinosaur.

I wish to travel to the Himalaya

 

[Link_to_Future]

Granted. Yeti attack!

I wish for a malfunctioning jetpack.

 

[darth.pixie]

Granted. You now own the Mozilla add-on Jetpack. But it malfunctioned, crashed your browser and now...BSOD.

I wish for a one-eyed yeti companion

 

[Link_to_Future]

Granted. Yeti attack for standing in his blind spot!!

I wish for a red ring of death.

 

[Link_to_Future]

Granted. They make you look like a small puppy compared to their massive pervertedness. You sink into obscurity.

I wish grandma would rest peacefully for a while. o.o

 

[Link_to_Future]

Granted. A perversion singularity is reached. The universe collapses into a sexy sexy black hole. >.>

I wish that that previous statement wasn't so easily taken as a double entendre.

 

[darth.pixie]

Granted. Now it's a triple entendre.

Granted. Now the world is full of yoghurt.

I wish English wasn't so full of innuendos.

 

[Link_to_Future]

Granted. English has lost a significant part of its diversity and is more boring as a result.

I wish for master speechcraft skills.