Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[Link_to_Future]

Spoiler: Granted, he's really fond of this form.

I wish for a horrific sunburn.

 

[Eumersian]

Granted. You get skin cancer.

I wish for a new fuckin' labcoat.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted, you are promptly run over by a car.

I wish for the end of time.

 

[Eumersian]

Granted. You'll get it in a few quadrillion years or so.

I wish for a two-button mouse.

 

[SpaceSpork]

Granted, but neither of the buttons work.

I wish for The Gorillaz and Gnarls Barkley to collaborate on a song and perform it at my house!

 

[Eumersian]

Granted, but rape is illegal, and you get arrested. In the slammer, you also get a "taste of your own medicine" if ya know what I mean?

I wish I didn't have such a dirty mind.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted, now you are horrified whenever someone shows a picture of a girl showing any skin at all.

I wish for my enemies destruction.

 

[Eumersian]

Granted, and you OD on it. Followed by death via tearing of the heart muscle, also known as a myocardial rupture.

I wish for a larger pen 15 2 dayyyyy.
(fucking spam)

 

[Link_to_Future]

Granted. You get a package of 15 large pens today!

I wish for a cougar.

 

[Link_to_Future]

Granted. Your parental figure finds it in your room. Hilarity ensues.

I wish for a death robot.

 

[Link_to_Future]

Granted. Meet Yuri Brezhnev.

I wish for a violent duck.

 

[Link_to_Future]

Granted. There's a fresh kitten corpse gently nestled between them.

I wish for a malfunctioning sprinkler.

 

[Link_to_Future]

Granted. The kitty is now decomposing in your bathroom sink.

I wish for a large stick.

 

[Link_to_Future]

Granted. Well, sort of. The only color we had left was dark blue. And it's made of asbestos.

I wish for a ton of bricks to be dropped on my head.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted, however as soon as the wish comes true someone injects lava into your heart.

I wish I could turn off the internet. All of it.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted. The rest of your body is ash.

I wish for a kickass themesong written about me.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted. By the way your house is flooded.

I wish for the death of all that is Bieber.

 

[Link_to_Future]

Granted. Nothing happens at all.

I wish for a wish!

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted. It comes at the sacrifice of justice.

Worth it. Totally worth it.

OT: Granted but you forget it just as you go to post this time.

I wish for silence across the world.

 

[Link_to_Future]

Granted. He's big and pink and has a taste for human blood.

I wish for more eagles!