Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[Dirty Apple]

Granted, but all it does is smell of feces

I wish for really bendy thumbs

 

[Dango]

Granted, but only because you no longer have bones in your thumbs.

I wish for peanut butter.

 

[Dirty Apple]

Granted, but it's actually only butter with peanuts jammed in

I wish for two katana blades

 

[Dango]

Granted, but neither have handles.

I wish for a sheep.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted, but it is this sheep:

I wish for the ability to perform a Vulcan neck pinch.

 

[Dango]

Granted, but you're out of control and neck pinch everyone you know and love.

I wish for the warmest sweater ever.

 

[cryogeist]

Granted!
you melt...

i wish for pie!

 

[Dango]

Granted, a boxing glove flies out and knocks you out cold.

I wish for metal hands.

 

[Robert632]

Granted. You can't move or feel with them though.

I wish I didn't feel sick when eating stir fry.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted, but now you feel sick when you eat anything else.

I wish for an amazing soundtrack to play whenever I'm doing stuff.

 

[Robert632]

Granted. It plays constantly, as you are always doing stuff, so it either gives you a headache or prevents sleep.

I wish for a block of cheese the size of a small elephant.

 

[The .50 Caliber Cow]

Granted but it is not safe for consumption.

I wish for freedom.

 

[Robert632]

Granted. Everyone you love died for you to be free, but you are free.

I wish for 2 rubber bands, 3 forks, and a laser pointer.

 

[cryogeist]

Granted! they all set on fire!

I wish I had 25 US$

 

[cryogeist]

Granted!

I wish the threads i have bookmarked wouldnt die

 

[AwesomeExpress]

Granted, but you do.

I wish my shoes wouldn't wear out.

 

[Dango]

Granted, but they're now a color that doesn't go with whatever you're wearing right now.

I wish for a cloud.

 

[cryogeist]

Granted! it turns into a tornado!

I wish for pastries

 

[Dango]

Granted, you get cakes filled with elves.

I wish for a trench coat.

 

[Xpwn3ntial]

Granted. You now have a hormone deficiency.

I wish I never needed to sleep.