Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted, but a whale dropped on your head while you were enjoying it. (There, ruined the experience)

I wish the person below me exploded.

 

[SpaceSpork]

Granted, but the explosion kills you too.

I wish for John Lennon to perform for me at my house!

 

[scorptatious]

Granted, but he's a zombie and eats your brains while performing.

I wish for a golden egg.

 

[havass]

Granted, but it hatches into a golden dragon that destroys your town.

I wish for it not to rain tomorrow.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted, it hails instead.

I wish George Lucas would move on.

 

[lemiel14n3]

He moves on, and into your house. Now George Lucas is banging your mom and giving you intimate details on how he wanted Jar Jar Binks to be a Jedi.

I wish I could read minds

 

[Valkyrie101]

Granted. Such a shame how much everyone secretly hates you.

Granted. It's really big. Really, really big. Like, huge, man.

I wish for cake that is true.

Hey, I haven't seen you around lately...

OT: Granted but now your computer is on fire.

I wish someone would quote this post.

Well, I dropped out of FG for a few months for no particular reason. Wish granted, but the quoter calls you a massive ****.

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I wish for a horse.

 

[scorptatious]

Granted, but it's a rabid horse that bites you. Spreading his rabies.

I wish I never had to eat just to survive again. Strictly for pleasure.

 

[AwesomeExpress]

Granted, but you only find pleasure in the foods you currently don't like, and the foods you do like, you don't.

I wish I can be a contestant in Jeopardy.

 

[Gypsy Ninja Pirate Zombie King]

Granted but alex rapes you

i wish i was the next american idol

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted but you are assassinated at the final ceremony.

I wish for a piece of lint.

 

[Valkyrie101]

Granted. It's on fire.

I wish for a blowjob.

 

[Robert632]

Granted. You find a 2 dollar hooker and get diseased.

I wish for a great big walnut.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted but you are crushed underneath it.

I wish for a piece of dust.

 

[Link_to_Future]

Granted. It's in your eye.

I wish I had a jetpack.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted but it flew away without you.

I wish for piece of toilet paper.

 

[Last of the Chinchillas]

Granted, but it's pre-used. And 35 years old.

I wish for a talking walrus.

 

[Valkyrie101]

Granted. It talks you into committing suicide.

I wish for banana bread.

 

[Eumersian]

Granted, but it's THREE WEEKS OLD!

I wish I didn't have class today.

 

[scorptatious]

Granted, instead you have to do a monotonous and repetitive task from nine to five without any pay. Making you appreciate learning.

I wish the people around me right now would stop going on Facebook, watching rap videos on Youtube, and checking their calenders. (I'm in a computer lab right now.)