Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[scorptatious]

Granted, but it's a pink taco.

...with pickles.

I wish I don't recieve probation for this post.

 

[Eumersian]

Granted, but we will all hate you forever.

I wish I had a higher post count.

 

[AwesomeExpress]

Granted, but you never get past 4998.

I wish for a pygmy polar bear.

 

[Link_to_Future]

Granted, but it's actually giant. And brown. And hungry.

I wish for moar monies!!

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted but before you can spend it or put it into a bank the Grammar Nazis kill you.

I wish for flint.

 

[Last of the Chinchillas]

Granted. It's on the end of that spear in your leg.

I wish for a giant brick of chocolate.

 

[MrJKapowey]

Granted, should be arriving at around 300mph when you are next in an area with NO overhead cover...

I wish for...MORE TIME GODDAMN IT!

 

[SkyeNeko]

granted, you now have 100 lonely years spent in your house with no provisions.

i wish i had more sleep.

 

[Valkyrie101]

Granted, but you won't wake up.

I wish I had a Spanish teacher again.

 

[Wintermoot]

Granted, but you won't wake up.

I wish I had a Spanish teacher again.

granted but she teaches like shit and flunkes you
I wish I had a super gaming computer that upgrades itself

 

[Valkyrie101]

Granted. It reaches sentience, upgrades itself with a machine gun and starts hunting you.

I wish for a bag of explosion-flavoured jelly babies.

 

[scorptatious]

Granted, but they are expired.

I wish I'll pass the quiz I'll have to do soon.

 

[Valkyrie101]

Granted. This will arouse feelings of jealousy in the heavily armed spectators.

I wish it were Halloween.

 

[Ice Car]

Granted, but candy has been banned in your state/town/area.

I wish for the following wish to not be corrupted. I wish to have a million dollars.

 

[Valkyrie101]

You can't have two wishes. The first wish was granted, but the second wish was invalid. You receive nothing.

I wish for a Japanese maid.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted but its a robot that strangles you in your sleep.

I wish for water.

 

[AwesomeExpress]

Granted, you get one small drop.

I wish to break a world record!

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted, but that record is number of times stabbed before dying.

I wish for neutrinos.

 

[AwesomeExpress]

Granted, but you have to catch 'em first.

I wish for an heir to my throne!

 

[superbatranger]

Granted, but he fails terribly.

I wish I did not have to work today.