Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[SkyeNeko]

Granted, but now you have cancer. It's malignant.

I wish I had thicker bangs.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted, now you can't see without holding your hair out your eyes.

I wish for a table.

 

[Link_to_Future]

Spoiler: Granted. This guy is always sitting at it. And he's hungry.

I wish for some dihydrogen monoxide.

 

[SkyeNeko]

Granted, but it is negatively charged and looking for another Hydrogen...

I wish for some diethyl ether 8D

 

[cryogeist]

Granted! you die

I wish for you to give me something!

 

[Link_to_Future]

Granted. I give you crabs! You're welcome. ^_^

I wish to be assassinated by ninjas.

 

[cryogeist]

Granted here they are!

I wish i was the leader of that team!

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted but you are betrayed by your teammates as soon as they are offered more money than you can provide them with.

I wish for die to be a real place.

 

[scorptatious]

Granted, but it's spoiled. And you get food poisoning from eating it.

I wish I could run at ludicrous speed.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted but I come back to life one millisecond later.

I wish the person below would undo the Japanese Earthquake.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted. No one listens to you anyway because intellectuals are all too far leftwing to be taken seriously.

I wish for BWAEWQRG.

 

[SkyeNeko]

granted, but it's at the bottom of a bathtub filled with baking chocolate.

i wish for a cold bedroom.

 

[Dr.Susse]

Granted but you're stuck doing a web-comic that revolves around cats.


I wish for a comfy bed.

 

[SkyeNeko]

granted, but the cat and your brother are taking up all the space on it.

i wish people would reply faster...

 

[Dr.Susse]

Granted you now remember the 'string incident' in horrible detail.

I wish for more indie music.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted but it's cake, something you don't seem to understand.

I wish for someone to game with.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted. However you are forever exhausted/tired and cannot rest.

I wish for fire.

 

[Dango]

Granted, but your underwater and it's raining.

I wish for a medal.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted, but it is for being a serial killer. Your execution is set for Monday.

I wish for Lego.

 

[Frozen Donkey Wheel2]

Granted, but they become self aware, come together to create a killer-robot, and conquer the universe.

I wish I was having consequence-fee sex with whoever the hell plays Amy Pond on Dr. Who right now.