Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[Kieros]

Congratulations! Conway's Game of Life now has the rule that every cell dies at the end of each generation.

I wish that the wish "I wish this wish was not a wish" was not a wish.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted. It is now a fish that grants wishes.

I wish for fanfiction.

 

[AwesomeExpress]

Granted, people (your stalkers) are now writing about "your life".

I wish for some pulled pork.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted, it is being pulled by a black hole.

I wish for less heat.

 

[AwesomeExpress]

Granted, it's now one degree cooler but you still die of heat exhaustion.

I wish for a magic carpet.

 

[BigDeadMushy]

granted.the magic is that it repels invaders by looking hideous.


I wish for an even larger coffee cup than my already comically overlarge ones.

 

[AwesomeExpress]

Granted, it breaks your house and has a hole at the bottom.

I wish for this game:

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted, however it only works with European consoles.

I wish for water.

 

[AwesomeExpress]

Granted, you get a single drop.

I wish for a loss for the Alouettes.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted. As a riders fan I cannot corrupt it.

I wish for Britain.

 

[AwesomeExpress]

Granted, you get Britain. If you can lift it.

I wish for a perfect matress.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted, but it smells strongly of France.

I wish for Minecraft.

 

[Xpwn3ntial]

Granted. No strings, Minecraft is its own punishment.

I wish for a cat in China to be saved from being run over.

 

[Athol]

Granted. That cat being saved leads to a cahin of events that ends with you being eaten alive by a weasle.

I wish for....

 

[AwesomeExpress]

your sentence to be finished! Granted, but then it gets deleted. And um... I do it for you. (shut up, it's late)

I wish for an umbrella. Without any holes in it.

 

[Xpwn3ntial]

Granted, but a sudden hurricane blows it away.

I wish for a suit of powered armor.

 

[dertyqwerty]

Granted, but the only power it has is the ability to burn toast.

I wish I had telekinesis.

 

[Norendithas]

Granted but it only works on goldfish.

I wish for a new computer.

 

[Kieros]

You are transported back in time twenty years, and get a state-of-the-line computer worse than your old one.

I wish that people would respect the viola.

 

[Xpwn3ntial]

Haha, fat chance.

I wish for toast.