Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[Dr.Susse]

Granted he's great except for one thing, he's secretly a Piñata.

I wish for a sleepy weekend.

 

[Hookman]

Granted, you're in a coma.

I wish for Piece and love around the world!

 

[Hookman]

EDIT: Damn it double post! IGNORE ME!

 

[Diablo1099_v1legacy]

Granted, did somebody post something? XD

I wish for a picture of a dead Bony.
man I'm over using that joke...

 

[Robert632]

Granted. It's a picture of a bony piece of dead fish.

I wish for an entire container of brain bleach to be dumped on my left arm.

 

[Diablo1099_v1legacy]

Granted, It rots off as your brain matter dies.

I wish for more trolling on this thread.

 

[pyramid head grape]

Granted. If only I knew what it was... >.>

I wish not to be talked to ever again :3

 

[Dr.Susse]

*Uses hand signs* Granted but but as a call centre operator you get fired.

I wish for an insane mentor.

 

[Robert632]

Granted. You never get to learn anything because your mentor is stuck in an insane asylum.

I wish to understand Implicit derivatives.

 

[Eumersian]

Granted, but the chain rule materializes as a chain, which strangles you.

I wish for a face.

 

[Isaac The Grape]

Granted. You get shot for raising an eyebrow at the wrong comment.

I wish for a kangaroo's bifurcated penis.

 

[The Thinker]

Granted. It is it's own punishment.

I wish for my digital consciousnesses to be uploaded into my dead tea-cup based bod.

 

[Isaac The Grape]

Granted. Unfortunately the enamel on the cup transmits the burning sensation of scalding hot tea every time someone drinks out of you.

I wish to be a member of Sealab 2020.

 

[Dr.Susse]

Granted have fun waiting eight more years till it starts.

I wish for a piece of art.

 

[Isaac The Grape]

Granted. You buy Jan Vermeer's "The Concert" off the black market. Then you tell your art-gallery owning friend. Then they tell the police. Then you get raped in prison.

I wish for steaming pile of steam.

 

[Dr.Susse]

Granted someone set fire to Valve.

I wish I could stop driving this bus.

 

[Robert632]

Granted. It breaks down, but your bus company provides you with another bus. You only get 2 days respite before being forced back on the road.

I wish for the Snoppy doll right in front of me to stop staring at me with judging eyes so I can masturbate in peace.

 

[Mau95]

Granted: it leaves, taking your peni5 with it.
I wish for omniscience.

 

[Mau95]

Granted: it leaves taking your peni5 with it.
I wish for omniscience.
Edit: damn, ninja'd by post.

 

[Robert632]

Granted. You become all-knowing, but your brain simply can't handle it. As a result you only retain your omniscience for a little bit before brain damage sets in that leaves you with little memory of who your are or what you know.

I wish I could actually give a cookie to someone who knows what I was referencing.