Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[Robot Number V]

Granted. A bear bursts through your ceiling and attacks you. You manage to kill it, but not before it tears off both your arms. On the plus side, I hear bear is delicious. Eat up!

I wish I could have risk and consquence-free sex with Scarlett Johansson.

 

[Evil Smurf]

Granted, but she is a dead fish in bed, unless she's using her 10 inch strap on on you, then she's awesome!

I wish I could punch Mitt Romney in the face

Granted, you are now on the way to the electric chair for upsetting the republican party. They sent an army of soccer mums and right wing nut jobs to lynch you.

I wish for a unicorn

 

[The Night Angel]

Granted, but the bowl is only one millimetre cubed.

I wish for a softer pillow.

 

[The Night Angel]

Granted, you put a hole in it, and it causes it to spin out of its orbit and crash into the Earth.

I wish for some sugar to put in my tea.

 

[Final First]

Granted, but now you're diabetic.

I wish I had a better computer.

 

[zombiekiller1907]

Granted. You get HAL. now you get trapped in your own house and die.

I wish HAL and GLaDOS had a love child

 

[Dalek Caan]

Granted, but you must be the surrogate, regardless of gender.

I wish for more pizza.

 

[sgtshock]

Granted. It has Anchovies.

I wish I could find a job.

 

[zombiekiller1907]

Granted. You find a blowjob. From a guy.

I wish for hats

 

[zombiekiller1907]

Granted. But the burrito gave you perpetual farts

I wish for a fart propelled aircraft

 

[zombiekiller1907]

Granted, but you become blind, so making things shiny is now irrelevant.

I wish for more irrelevant things.

 

[zombiekiller1907]

Granted. You didn't say anything about drinking it though...
*throws the bottles to the ground*

 

[StormShaun]

Granted! The bad part is the laser is so complicated you shoot yourself with it. Didn't count it would come from aliens who intended this in the first place.

I wish Overpuce would go to the anime world he most wanted.

 

[Dalek Caan]

Granted, it runs out of fuel has no parachute.

I wish I has magic.

 

[StormShaun]

Granted.
/You cast magic missile.
/Magic missile homes....ON YOU.
/You run.
/You get blown up.
/Game over

I wish to have a lightsaber that can't kill me!

Granted. I go into the anime world of my dreams and bring back Spike Spiegel and Jet Black... and by the way [user]StormShaun[/user] has a bounty on their head. Spike and Jet are very bad and bringing in major bounties alive.

I wish that I could fly the Swordfish II.

Who is this StormShaun your talking about? *Wearing mustache*

 

[zombiekiller1907]

In exchange for your mustache, you get a lightsaber. But you suck at it, and you get killed by spike and co.

I wish for a nice comfy chair.

 

[StormShaun]

Granted, but it is built of...YOUR OWN FLESH!

Bwahahaha.

I guess being a muscle man isn't so bad.

Also I come back to life to wish that this forum game was never made!

 

[Evil Smurf]

Granted, however it is now a thread about how how the ending of ME3 sucks.

I wish for peace of mind

 

[zombiekiller1907]

*bang*
done.

I wish for evil smurf to revive as a zombie

 

[StormShaun]

Granted. The bad thing he comes back in front of you...and you have no ammo...or underwear.

He eats your brains and now both of you are frolicking on a beach in the sunset.

I wish I had a pop tart.