Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[The Night Angel]

Granted, it is on the moon, with you.

I wish for this planet to have a second moon.

 

[The Night Angel]

Granted, we become so smart that we realise we deserve extinction, and we destroy ourselves.

I wish for something to do when I'm bored.

 

[The Night Angel]

Granted, but it only works on yourself.

I wish for a potato farm

 

[StormShaun]

Granted. McDonald's sues you for launching a full frontal assault on it's main potato farm....you get convicted to life in prison with a man in the same cell your call sugar daddy.

I wish for...nothing.

 

[The Night Angel]

Granted, the universe disappears and leaves nothingness.

I wish for everything

 

[StormShaun]

Granted. You get crushed by everything in the world. You die, everyone hates you and your country is buried under a pile of everything. Are you happy?

I wish for things I need.

 

[QuietCupOfTea]

Granted, but they're all broken.

I wish for thunder and lightning.

 

[Jetut]

Granted but it's happening where I live

I wish for a takeaway tonight.

 

[WhyBotherToTry]

Granted but it was taken out of somebody else's bin.
I wish I could fly

 

[Dalek Caan]

Granted, you fly too close to the sun and burn.

I wish that I had a Tardis.

 

[Knight Captain Kerr]

Granted you have a Tardis during the Last Great Time War. With no way to escape you die in battle.

I wish my shirt was green instead of navy.

 

[zombiekiller1907]

Granted. You light it up, and it explode it. Ain't I a stinker.

I wish that people would make new episodes of Tom and Jerry that are actually GOOD and FUNNY

 

[=y]

Granted but they are lost in a fire.

I wish for pancakes.

 

[TheLastSamurai14]

Granted. Romney fires you for actually being sane.

I wish for a TAR-

I wish that I had a Tardis.

God damn it! Fine...I wish I had a sonic screwdriver.

 

[sgtshock]

Granted. You get the Doctor's Sonic Screwdriver, and he's none too happy that you've stolen it.

I wish Thief 4 was out.

 

[Da Orky Man]

Granted, it's now a JRPG.

I wish for bunnies.

 

[Evil Smurf]

granted. <spoiler=your bunny is a raving rabbid>http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/rabbid_4893.jpg
I wish for a never ending pint of beer

 

[zombiekiller1907]

Granted. the glass breaks, and it floods beer.

I wish for... a kid.

 

[Evil Smurf]

Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you

Is that Bach?

I wish for ICE CREAM!

 

[onewheeled]

Granted, but it's flavored with the blood of your ancestors.

I wish for Keith to shut up.