Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[Not G. Ivingname]

Spoiler: Granted! Have fun! :D

You only wanted to do that once right?

I wish for kittens. ^.^

 

[Dr.Susse]

Granted.
Here's a bowl of kitten chow mein.

I wish it would stop raining.

 

[Not G. Ivingname]

Spoiler: Granted

I wish for puppies, living puppies! The cute and fuzzy kind! ^.^

 

[NoOne852]

Granted. All your friends and family members are now puppies living in your house.

I wish for pie.

 

[Sir Pootis]

Granted, but your request was so generic you commit suicide from the guilt.

I wish for EA to no be the worst thing ever.

 

[thesilentman]

Granted. They buy out all of the developers that you like and disband them by force.

I wish to yell at Valve.

 

[Dr.Susse]

Granted but all it does is hurt their feelings and makes them push Half-life 3 back further and there are some pretty pissed fanboys wanting meet you.

I wish for a quiet day.

 

[Kae]

You are now permanently deaf.

I wish to breathe underwater.

 

[NoOne852]

Granted. Good luck living as a tuna.

I wish for the best birthday party eva!

 

[Dr.Susse]

Granted it's so good that every year after becomes more and more unfulfilling and hollow.

I wish Music had a bigger effect on the world.

 

[thesilentman]

Granted. All the trolls are invited to ruin the birthday party as the party isn't for you.

I wish for cake, lots of it!

 

[NoOne852]

(Ninja'd I see. I guess I will just grant both wishes)
@Dr.Susse Granted. Music takes place of religon and many bloody wars are fought because of it.

@thesilentman Granted. Everything you taste from now on will taste like cake and nothing else.

I wish to control time!

 

[Dr.Susse]

Granted here's a watch.
You can set it to what ever time you need.

I wish I could change my username again.

 

[thesilentman]

Granted. Now enjoy being locked out of the Escapist.

I wish I could stave off insomnia.

 

[Not G. Ivingname]

Spoiler: Granted!

I wish for less wishes.

 

[NoOne852]

Granted. You now have a lazy cat named Captcha.

I wish for a pony!

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted but it is animated and trapped in an endless gif on your phone.

I wish for good food and fun times.

 

[thesilentman]

Granted. BUT NONE OF IT IS FOR YOU!

I wish for better drawing skills.

 

[username sucks]

Granted. Your drawings come to life and murder everyone that you care about then enslave you to make more drawings.

I wish for a refreshing glass of iced tea.

 

[Dr.Susse]

Granted the shop was closed so here's a cup of tea with cold water.

I wish for a milk crate.