Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[Teoes]

Granted - once fire has swept the planet clean.

I wish to be immune to fire.

 

[kailus13]

Granted, you now die in water.

I wish to breathe underwater.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted but you can only breath in the 'warm' areas. Yes, the warm you are thinking of.

I wish for unlimited ammunition for my rifle.

 

[MetaKnight670]

Granted, but your rifle now shoots muffins, at a speed just high enough for it to feel like someone poked them.

I wish I could speak all the languages in the world.

 

[kailus13]

Granted, you are now deaf and blind, so you can't tell when people are talking to you.

I wish for blueberry mufffins.

 

[Yuno Gasai]

Granted, but they're mouldy and you're pretty sure someone's taken a bite out of each of them.

I wish to not be cold anymore.

 

[MetaKnight670]

Granted, you now burst into flames that can not be put out by anything.

I wish for a pie flavoured pie.

 

[Teoes]

Granted; shame someone went number two on it.

I wish to have all the things.

 

[kailus13]

Granted, you are now crushed underneath them.

I wish for chocolate.

 

[Yuno Gasai]

Granted, but you're now faced with more chocolate than you can stomach. You want to stop eating, but your body won't let you. It wants to consume ALL the chocolate~

I wish my skin wasn't so dry.

 

[MetaKnight670]

Granted, you are now water.

I wish that I could go to sleep now.

 

[Yuno Gasai]

Granted, but you'll never wake up.

I wish my headache would go away.

 

[Teoes]

Granted by way of this wonderful device - allow me to introduce you to the guillotine..

I wish to be a polyglot.

 

[Yuno Gasai]

Granted.. But you frequently muddle your languages, so nobody can understand anything you say.

I wish I could clear my gaming backlog.

 

[kailus13]

Granted, by taking your games away.

I wish I wasn't so easily distracted.

 

[DotSlash]

Granted... you focus on one thing for the rest of your life, leading you to become an addicted hobo.

I wish that TV was better.

 

[Teoes]

Granted but the picture quality is just terrible.

I wish I had telekinetic powers.

 

[kailus13]

Granted, they are uncontrollable.

I wish for a pet dolphin.

 

[OmniscientOstrich]

Granted, the dolphin is dead. Probably should have asked for a live one.

I wish for some pancakes.

 

[kailus13]

Granted. Why you want cake shaped pans is beyond me.

I wish for cheese.