Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted but your wishes always get corrupted.

I wish for food money.

 

[TheCommanders]

Granted, but it turns out food money tastes horrible and isn't accepted as legal tender.

I wish that I could fly!

 

[Teoes]

Granted, but you never learning how to land leaves you with broken legs.

I wish I hadn't seen that horrific Totoro image.

 

[Not G. Ivingname]

Granted, your memories have been replaced with vivid memories of all the Human Centipede films instead.

I wish to cancel all the wishes I have ever made.

 

[Teoes]

Granted, but that includes this one and you end up trapped in a logic paradox.

I wish I slept better last night.

 

[KOMega]

Granted, you have get best sleep of your life.
You are comatose. For life.

I wish food tasted better.

 

[Mullac]

Granted, all food that you are allergic to tastes wonderful.

I wish I could speak to fish.

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

Granted. You are now another fish.

I wish I had more sleeping time.

 

[KOMega]

Granted, your sleep cycle now requires you to sleep 23hours and 59 minutes a day.
I'm sure you will get so much done every day.

I wish for a better computer.

 

[Barbas]

Granted - it's in the form of a human brain and it's still wet and take it quickly please there are dangerous men behind me.

I wish for a helicopter.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted, you can have this dying netbook. It's new to you.

I wish for a German WWII helmet.

 

[Barbas]

Granted, take this one that I certainly did not loot from a disease-ridden husk. If you smell anything or notice an itching sensation, it's just the history.

I wish for a real heart.

 

[username sucks]

Granted, but instead of a laptop computer you get a cobra that will sit on your lap and bite you if you try to push it off.

Granted. It is a 100% genuine earthworm heart. Enjoy!

I wish for a HD camera.

 

[Not G. Ivingname]

Spoiler: Granted! Henry Davidson worked really hard on it.

I wish that the escapist would run ads for something other than SMITE.

 

[username sucks]

Granted. Now all ads are for Justin Beiber's upcoming tour/album.

I wish for strength.

 

[Teoes]

Granted, but you didn't say how much. You are granted the strength of an 86 year-old cancer patient.

I wish I could cure cancer.

 

[username sucks]

Granted, the chicken feed is now covered in moldy cheese.

I wish for sand.