Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[Barbas]

Granted - Take these free posters of One Direction.

I wish for a manatee.

 

[username sucks]

Granted. Oh, did you say one manatee? I thought you said 50,000. My bad!

I wish for madness.

 

[Nouw]

Granted but you're in an insane world.

I wish for remembrance.

 

[username sucks]

I hardly see how that is a bad thing.

Anyway, you can now perfectly remember every detail of your own birth. Have fun reliving the memories.

I wish for the power of cement.

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, your new power will, in fact, backfire and, thus, your entire body will become the cement used to create the new room(s) to fit Kanye's next of kin... (Awesome, right?)

I wish for a poetic girlfriend!

 

[Not G. Ivingname]

Granted, your new power will, in fact, backfire and, thus, your entire body will become the cement used to create the new room(s) to fit Kanye's next of kin... (Awesome, right?)

I wish for a poetic girlfriend!

Spoiler: Granted

I wish to never grow up.

 

[Extra-Ordinary]

Granted, your balls will never drop and you'll never get laid.

I wish I knew how to play the sitar.

Captcha: sacred cow.
That's racist, captcha.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted but whenever you do, demons come and remove someone you love from existence.

I wish for more love.

 

[username sucks]

Granted. You now have more love to give to people you meet, but they will never return it.

I wish for the ability to make people stop talking to me.

 

[FPLOON]

I wish for the ability to make people stop talking to me.

Grante-
*gets an important phone call*
Hello? ...He did WHAT NOW??? THAT'S SO FUCKED UP!!!
*hangs up*
*in thought* No wonder we're talking to this guy anymore!
*walks away without looking back*

(AKA: Enjoy your now lonely life in general society... except since you're technically a "person" in the "people" category, you can't really talk to yourself either because of your new ability...)

I wish for a more feminine physique...

 

[username sucks]

I wish for a more feminine physique...

Granted. This here corpse is the very essence of feminine beauty, and it's perfectly preserved. It is yours.

Oh, what's that?
Sounds like the police are here, so I'll just take my leave. Enjoy your wish!

I wish I knew how to speak Spanish fluently.

 

[FPLOON]

Granted! *takes you to a crime-filled Hispanic ghetto* I'm sure these fine, young compadres that live here can teach you how to speak Español fluidly in no time... *leaves you there* Have fun!

I wish I was the 15th incarnation of the Doctor...

 

[Lil_Rimmy]

Certainly! What an amazing starship you own! Truly, it's beautiful! Yep! Stuck right there, hanging in space because you don't have any fuel for it. Good luck with that! *cough* starbound *cough*

I wish that I had a real life News Dog.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted but he only reports the worst of your life to gossip websites.

I wish that I had a spaceship.

 

[Barbas]

Granted. Take the one that's stuck in a hill near Roswell. Here's a trowel. Ta-ta!

I wish I had a trio of helpful monkeys.

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, they will be subjected to Chemical X to see if they have what it takes to become the next Mojo Jojo...

I wish for more slices of pizza!

 

[RobAlister]

Granted but they're all plastic imitation slices.

I wish I had the power to win every coin toss.

 

[Not G. Ivingname]

Spoiler: Granted

The circle shall never be broken...

I wish I could travel through dimensions like the Luteces.

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, you'll end up like this one dude named Quinn from Sliders... Yeah, good luck coming back to your original dimension alive, that is...

I wish for two ha'pennies!

 

[MemLCol TBOT]

I wish for two ha'pennies!

Granted, Ha'pennies are now worthless and the government taxes you or owning them (WTF Arre Ha'pennies)


i wish for sliders to get a makeover and re release