Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[Jenitals]

Granted, it's now The Kardashians in every universe
I wish for my uni degree to be free.

 

[FPLOON]

(WTF Arre Ha'pennies)

A)Half a penny
B)Wakko's Wish
C)All of the Above
D)None of the Above

OT: Granted, you will never get a paying job with a degree like that... You're better off paying employers money than to live your life now...

I wish I was in the middle of my own harem anime scenario!

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted but nobody wears a condom and you'll die young due to various diseases.

I wish for love.

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, this "love" will not be your own nor will it actually be towards you...
Plus, it will smell really bad overall...
(I believe <link=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E0LAs7X5ybE>this song sums up your now current situation, I presume...)

I wish for a better tomorrow... tomorrow...

 

[username sucks]

Granted. Tomorrow's tomorrow will be so much better for you when you find a dollar on the ground. The day after when you realize that it was coated with a slow-acting poison will not be so great, however.

I wish to know what I'm doing.

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, by knowing what you're going to do, you will always be hesitant to do exactly that for the fear that what you're going to do isn't actually what you wanted to do anyway...

In other words, your mind is now trapped in a paradox... (Hope you enjoy the definition of insanity...)

I wish for the complete series box set of Ed, Edd, n' Eddy...

 

[username sucks]

Granted, it should be about two months for it to ship via hovercraft. And a $10,000 shipping charge will be added to your purchase.

I wish to no longer be afraid.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted. You can fall off that cliff without a sweat now! You weren't too afraid to climb it afterall.

I wish for bacon sandwiches.

 

[Barbas]

Granted. You'll have to get them out of the angry pig, though.

I wish for a palace of crystal and obsidian.

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, we could only afford pseudo-crystals to make the palace... on top of mistaking Obsidian the game company as a component to the making of said palace... In other words, the palace not only looks fake, but it's filled to the gills with bugs... (Have fun!)

I wish for a better tomorrow... yesterday...

 

[Extra-Ordinary]

Granted, but the day after is *really* gonna suck.

I wish Pacific Rim 2 would come out sooner.

 

[RedDeadFred]

Granted, but Tommy Wiseau is directing, writing, producing, and staring in it.

I wish that I could eat gluten again!

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, this is another form of cannibalism since you are 100% made out of gluten! (Have fun eating you own kind... I guess...)

I wish I was like Mike!

 

[Not G. Ivingname]

Spoiler: Granted

I wish that wishes couldn't be wished for wishing wished sake.

 

[OmniscientOstrich]

Granted, you've killed the thread and robbed millions of people of their hopes and dreams. You happy now, asshole?

I wish I was a shapeshifter.

 

[RedDeadFred]

Granted, you can now move various shapes around your house. I bet the triangles are extra fun!

I wish that my boss was a nicer person.

 

[Roxas1359]

Granted, your boss is now a robot, and he puts happy face emojis after all letters to you. Also, you're position is being replaced with a robot as well.

I wish I didn't have to go back to school.

 

[Not G. Ivingname]

Spoiler: Granted

CAN'T YOU FEEL THE LOVE IN THE AIR!

I wish I was a genius.

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, you are only a genius at not being a genius! *insert Inception noise here*

I wish for more money for the family!

 

[Not G. Ivingname]

Spoiler: GRANTED!

I wish that I had a better computer.