Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[tilmoph]

Granted. The jokes are crap, the blackjack dealer is rigging the deck and pocketing the cash, and the hookers all have mold on their business bits.

I wish my cough wasn't so bad.

 

[UltraDeth]

Granted. Now it's even worse!

I wish I had some antique flintlocks

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, it will fill you with nothing but pain and dissatisfaction until the day you die from a heart attack...

I wish I had a universal translator!

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, it causes you to become more hungry than usual despite never being able to digest anything properly, thus leading to your body imploding from excess food intake with a potential overdose on fiber...

I wish I would stop reading the The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt title as The Witcher 3: Witch Hunt!

 

[UltraDeth]

Granted. Your bladder has now exploded and turning your insides septic

I wish for plenty of spare consoles

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, you lack the power to use them all unless you want them to halt and catch fire in the literal sense...

I wish that Bruce would get off my back!

 

[UltraDeth]

Granted. Now all his friends and family dislike you for casting him aside and they tell their friends and their friends.

I wish I had a nice suit of armour to keep in my house

 

[Dalek Caan]

Granted, it rusts away after one use.

I wish for a Ice Age.

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, this will not stop Global Warning... or the next Ice Age sequel...

I wish I came with my own soundtrack!

 

[UltraDeth]

Granted. It's not a genre you like and it loops incessantly

I wish I had these

http://www.gamespot.com/articles/these-gold-plated-xbox-one-and-ps4-systems-can-be-/1100-6422232/

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, all you're getting is the printed picture of those items... and now you own me 1000 bones (in cash) for compensation fees...

I wish the Blue Brothers played a set in my home!

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, her ex-husband would keep asking her to stay on set for longer and longer hours until she doesn't come back home to you anymore...

I wish my GPU speed was faster!

 

[UltraDeth]

Granted, but it overheats very quickly

I wish for unlimited ammo

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, you must give me everything you own before I can give them to you...

I wish the sun will come out tomorrow!

 

[UltraDeth]

Granted, provided you don't mind a thin layer of cloud

I wish it was hot enough to get tanned

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, it will cause you permanent blindness, the lose of your vocals/sounds, and invisibility that you can't turn off... Exciting, right?

I wish I know where the beef is!

 

[FliedLiverAttack]

Granted. You know where the beef is. You can never forget.

I wish for some action.

 

[FPLOON]

Granted! *calls up [a] dusty-old grandmother* We got another one wishing for some "action", if you know what I mean...

I wish I got that thing you sent me!

 

[UltraDeth]

Granted, I sent you nothing!

I wish I could play Bass

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, you'll never be good enough to show off your new Bass skills...

I wish I was as cool as...

Spoiler: Randy Quench: Volunteer Fireman!