Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[UltraDeth]

Granted, it's terrible

I wish people would reply sooner to my e-mails

 

[Dalek Caan]

Granted, there all filled with links to malware sites.

I wish for a Lego Liberty Prime.

 

[UltraDeth]

Granted, you've got to put it together yourself, and none of the pieces fit

I wish I had that gold Xbox One

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, it's mine now... because I'm stealing it!

I wish this dance wasn't our last!

 

[UltraDeth]

Granted, now you can't stop dancing

I wish I had every achievement unlocked

 

[Fractral]

Congratulations, you just unlocked the achievement for dying! Too bad you can't appreciate it in your shallow grave.

I wish my teeth weren't so terrible.

 

[Dalek Caan]

Granted, your teeth are pure white, which has it's own set of problems.

I wish to forward time by 5 hours.

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, every time you think of the words "I", "wish", "to", "forward", "time", "by", "5", "hours", or any words similar to those words, time will always move you forward 5 hours just like in the movie Click... and, if you've seen that movie, you'll know how this shit will turn out for you in particular...

I wish everyone's optimistic all the time!

 

[Dalek Caan]

Granted, everyone is super optimistic about your impending death.

I wish you would love me.

 

[Drake the Dragonheart]

We both would end up regretting that wish!

I wish Todd Helton's final career at bat had been a walk off grand slam in game 7 of the world series.

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, he will get a heart attack after said hit, thus ending the game of Baseball for good...

I wish there was another Mario Baseball game!

 

[UltraDeth]

Granted, but it uses motion control

I wish I could sing

 

[Headsprouter]

Okay! But it requires ghost peppers on the tongue to be activated.

I wish I had a more defined taste in music.

 

[UltraDeth]

Granted, but now you can't enjoy anything that cannot be considered art, which makes you very depressed .

I wish I could understand complex things.

 

[Drake the Dragonheart]

Granted but at the cost of being able to understand the simple thing

(good luck ruining this wish without feeling like a monster) I wish we would cure all diseases.

 

[Fractral]

Granted, you are now nothing at all.

I wish I could go Skydiving.

 

[FPLOON]

Granted! *pushes you off a moving plane without any safety precautions*

I wish I was a Sailor Scout!

 

[UltraDeth]

Granted, the ship has been torpedoed

I wish I had a collection of Classical Music

 

[Jux]

Granted, but it comes in the form of a lobotomy. Also, you're now incontinent.

I wish for a cameo in a Star Wars movie.

 

[BreakfastMan]

Granted, but you are playing Jar Jar Binks in Episode 1.

I wish for a cheese danish.