Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[Drake the Dragonheart]

It instead gets run into the ground to the point it makes everyone hate the characters.

(blame cinemasins for this one!)

Spoiler

I wish Olivia Wilde was my girlfriend.

 

[JohnZ117]

Nintendo, Ubisoft, and Konami all hire assassins to eradicate this threat. Jim Sterling is martyred, much like his predecessor, and his message gets perverted and used by the game industry to actually further their corrupt ways.

I wish I could think of a better wish.

 

[JohnZ117]

The voice actor for Marvin is nowhere near as good as Alan, and all the other actors just phone it in as well.

I wish for a million wishes.

 

[Drake the Dragonheart]

You are condemned to a dome and never allowed to see it.

I wish I could have seen John Pinette perform live, in person.

 

[Drake the Dragonheart]

Dark matter bombs were invented instead!

I wish for cybernetic augmentation, and I was the first candidate.

 

[JohnZ117]

Adam Jenson was an early adapter, so every mechanism in his body malfunctioned frequently, often causing extreme pain and diarrhea. That is your future. Adam Jensen, however, adapted quite well to his augments.

I wish my appliances weren't in need of constant updates.

 

[American Fox]

They have perfect spelling and grammar, but they can only write bible verses. In Klingon. No more new books, just one old one. Forever.

I wish to always be able to pull the right amount of money for a purchase from my pocket.

He performs your least favorite sex-act with a large animal, just for you.

Oh fsck, I ar ded farm laftir

 

[Drake the Dragonheart]

It immediately animates and proceeds to hand you the most severe, humiliating ass beating of your entire life.

I wish the Nashville Predators would get swept in the Stanley Cup Finals, not even close, every game they lose 6,7-0, and Corey Sissons gets the super STD gonaherpasyphalAIDS.

Then the next 3 seasons they lose a game 7 at home to Anaheim.

 

[Drake the Dragonheart]

Well that is several billion dollar industries just gone up in smoke. America's economy goes into a half century long great depression.

I wish I had a pet dragon!

 

[Dr.Susse]

Granted but instead you got no presents.
Another year another forgotten birthday.
As this day dwindles into the lasting twilight.
A chill of loneliness rests on the forefront of thought.

I wish I didn't write that emo garbage.

 

[Drake the Dragonheart]

Granted. You live that emo garbage instead!

I wish landmines were never invented.

 

[Drake the Dragonheart]

You become possessed by said obsessions.

I wish Toothless was my pet!

 

[Drake the Dragonheart]

The cat spends all **** day in the bathroom and leaves the seat up every single time!

I wish Hayley Williams (lead singer for Paramore) was my girlfriend!

 

[Dr.Susse]

Granted I now only wish for different shades of off white to appear less regularly in paint catalogs these days.

I wish for what I just typed.

 

[Drake the Dragonheart]

Granted. You become obsessed with collecting paint catalogues.

I wish common sense was actually common.

 

[Dr.Susse]

Granted but now we have no sense of personal safety.

I wish to be the master of unlocking.

 

[Drake the Dragonheart]

It's so horrible it causes the death of the horror genre.

I wish I would be medically cleared for the Air National Guard.

 

[Drake the Dragonheart]

you find out only after picking it up that it was coated in an enzyme that causes your hair to fall out. ALL OF IT!

I wish I could teach Kung Fu.

 

[Drake the Dragonheart]

Granted. You are in the Matrix instead!

I wish for endless tacos!

 

[Dr.Susse]

Granted but with out poop there's no poop jokes and sadly comedy ceases to exist. The mundane takes over and the human race chooses to go extinct. It turns out the greatest joke was life itself.

I wish rugby was the national sport of America.