Rumor: Plot for Star Wars 7 Leaks Out

[Ichigo]

Ok, why not use the Thrawn trilogy and make an evil clone of Lukes hand? at least these books are really awesome. Also, why should Han not see Luke for over 30 Years??? Abandoning the old expended universe was really really bollocks. So i guess Han never had children with Lea now, even so that would be a good plot point for a later generation. I hope this leak is false because it sounds really bad as a story. Indiana Han raiders of the lost Hand.

 

[Rawbeard]

Leak + JJ Abrams = Mystery Box = You got trolled, son.

 

[james.sponge]

I gotta say the idea of developing a doomsday device that destroys solar systems sounds awful, hopefully by the time we will hit episode IX they will develop a weapon that can destroy galaxies, stakes will be high indeed.

Also that severed hand can belong to Darth Vader! I'm sensing a plot twist! also Jar Jar will be the main villain.

 

[Agayek]

Oh Jesus, they're doing the super weapon race the post Return of the Jedi Expanded Universe was plagued by, only a matter of time before we get the Sun Crusher

Really hoping this isn't the actual movie plot, it's dumb, dumb, dumb

It actually sounds like they're starting with the Sun Crusher. Note how they explicitly made mention that the bad guys have a super weapon that can destroy entire star systems.

As for the plot itself: It sounds retarded. I've read multiple fan works with substantially better premises as a continuation from RotJ. I've never expected much from this production, but this really does seem to be scraping the bottom of the barrel. It's getting really hard to try and keep an open mind about this movie.

 

[Ticklefist]

This guy is to popular SciFi what Joel Schumacher is to Batman.

 

[PortalThinker113]

John Boyega and Daisy Ridley are the actors playing the two leads of the film. Those are NOT the characters' names.

I know I'm being "that guy" about this particular point, and I apologize, but it's bothering me that multiple people have this misconception.

Its cool. Its actually rather placating that it hasn't gone full-derp and even abandoned the strange names that is practically a hallmark of the Star Wars franchise.

Oh, of course. Bizarre names are Star Wars tradition. If the writers can come up with something goofier than "Count Dooku," I will be very pleased.

 

[Hero in a half shell]

Piloting something other than their iconic space bucket? The only thing that would be kind of fun to see them pilot is the bloody Death Star.

"Hit it Chewie"
"NNnnnnngarrrrrr!"
"No not that butto-"

*BOOM*

"Oh well. I never liked that planet anyway."

Otherwise this sounds pretty bad, and it sounds like Tatooine again.
Why is it that Star Wars always appears to have more storylines based in a desert than Dune?!?

 

[circularlogic88]

LOL this had to be a joke. Their are massive plot holes all over just the premise of the opening. For example can we assume its the same hand from Empire Strikes Back? If so how did the hand get into space? Or does Luke just have a habit of getting his hand lopped off? Also how did the hand survive reentry to a planet? Why is the husband of rebel hero that is also a high ranking noble still gallivanting around the galaxy as a smuggler? And seriously a solar system destroying super weapon? That just stinks of dumb and trying to out do the original trilogy when most people acknowledge that the Death Stars were silly weapons in the first place. And than the names granted, Luke is a common name but the rest of the names in the universe tend to not be modern generic names. John and Daisy... and since its probably Tatooin they're on, get the hell off that planet. JJ Abrahms don't just rehash the worst elements of the original trilogy and the prequels.

It can all be explained away...with midichlorians and the "will of the force" ;3

 

[RossaLincoln]

Another rumor associated with the movie, one that has been reported elsewhere and that Devin swears was verified by multiple sources, makes this concept sound a hell of a lot cooler.

Spoiler

apparently, John Boyega's character is a Storm Trooper who has just deserted the service and is trying to do something different with his life.

Other rumors have suggested that:

Spoiler

the galaxy is in a kind of cold war state between what remains of the Empire and whatever government the Rebels established after the destruction of the second Death Star

I'm not going to lie, that sounds awesome. It sounds like, though the EU (which IMO was a bloated, convoluted mess defined mostly by terrible writing, except for the thrawn trilogy and some of the short stories. And was also way too reliant on the Lucasian tendency to have every protagonist be related to every other protagonist in some capacity) has been struck from canon, the production might be taking a cue from Marvel and distilling elements from the EU into the new trilogy. There are some good concepts in the EU after all.

Anyway, I never expected that I'd say "this sounds vaguely awesome" about anything Star Wars related ever again, especially once JJA was announced to direct. But looks like I just did.

 

[sorsa]

...<_<

...>_>

...Am I the only one who actually kinda liked the script scrap? Could be a controlled leak too by the producers, to gauge the public reaction to this tiny story morsel, and to see what the scanner says about the Hype Level.

Also remember it's his robot jedi magic hand, so perhaps that's why it survives the heat from entering a planet's atmosphere and conveniently lands in the immediate vicinity of the movie's BFF protagonists.

 

[Shamanic Rhythm]

On the one hand (pun not intended), this plot is so lame I don't believe it, but then again it's a J.J. Abrams movie.

I want this to be true. I will make SPACE HAAAAAAAAND jokes for the rest of my life if it's true. Which probably won't be long, because I'm sure if I keep saying "SPACE HAAAAAND!" someone will kill me.

Even better will be if one of the people who discovers this hand will be a Jar Jar Binks type who yells "SPACE HAAAAAAAND!" and then runs around in a goofy manner for five minutes.

 

[Drake Barrow]

*sigh* You know, they could've had the lightsaber fall instead of the hand. That would be perfectly acceptable. Han would've identified the saber, as he was around when Luke was training with it.

But having an actual hand would be so much better, because we could make Episode VII into a morality play called "The Jedi's Paw". It's an ancient relic of the Old Republic that grants wishes to whomever holds it. The catch to it is that the wishes are twisted horribly. For example, a die-hard Star Wars fan got a hold of it in the present day, and wished that Episode VII would come out...

 

[Something Amyss]

On the one hand (pun not intended), this plot is so lame I don't believe it, but then again it's a J.J. Abrams movie.

I want this to be true. I will make SPACE HAAAAAAAAND jokes for the rest of my life if it's true. Which probably won't be long, because I'm sure if I keep saying "SPACE HAAAAAND!" someone will kill me.

Even better will be if one of the people who discovers this hand will be a Jar Jar Binks type who yells "SPACE HAAAAAAAND!" and then runs around in a goofy manner for five minutes.

This movie needs Jar-Jar. And Ewoks. They can all worship the space hand.

 

[Nieroshai]

It hurts that so many people even remotely think this could be the possible plot. I'm convinced that anyone who would've looked at this as a plot would've slapped the writer with first a physics and then a biology text. No, this has to be a troll leak. We want this to be bad, so it's so easy to believe.

 

[Nieroshai]

...<_<

...>_>

...Am I the only one who actually kinda liked the script scrap? Could be a controlled leak too by the producers, to gauge the public reaction to this tiny story morsel, and to see what the scanner says about the Hype Level.

Also remember it's his robot jedi magic hand, so perhaps that's why it survives the heat from entering a planet's atmosphere and conveniently lands in the immediate vicinity of the movie's BFF protagonists.

The hand was REPLACED with a robotic hand BECAUSE it was severed on Bespin. Also, things much bigger than medical prosthetics burn up on atmospheric entry all the time. Then again, "Jedi magic hand" makes me wonder if you're baiting...

 

[Nieroshai]

As soon as the hand in space lands on planet line came up. I started head butting a wall. Rally? That shit won't fly even if your five feking years old! This hogwash can not be real.

This is from the same person who gave us "alternate universe Spock" in the very first movie, so I'm not exactly surprised if it turns out to be true

Have you not even watched Star Trek? There's timme travel and interdimensional doppelgangers galore, and not in one-offs from the first series either.

 

[Atmos Duality]

Leak + JJ Abrams = Mystery Box = You got trolled, son.

Basically.
Though calling back to the first movie sounds like something Abrams would do even if it makes absolutely no sense. (based on his Star Trek films anyway)

 

[Programmed_For_Damage]

The report didn't mention the fact that the severed hand was floating through space with middle finger extended as a not so subtle "fuck you" to fans.

As so many people have stated, there are two many things wrong with this idea that it can't be true. It would be a tragedy of Jar-Jarian magnitude.

 

[Sheo_Dagana]

Return it to the 'proper people?' What, Luke HASN'T been rebuilding the Jedi order for the last 30 years? I mean, seems like if he was it wouldn't be very hard to find them. Just go to Coruscant - problem solved, series over. I can imagine that they'll probably have to deal with Jedi Hunters that want the stupid lightsaber for some reason, all so the main characters can be drawn into an over-arcing plot in the flimsiest of ways.

It all just reeks of being lazy, especially running into the Han Solo. It's like contacting Old Spock just so that he can flat out tell you who the fuck Khan is instead of letting the characters make decisions on their own that might, I don't know, actually lead them on an adventure. I'm not saying Star Wars has to be spectacularly more clever, but if this is how you plan to start your new space-adventure series, I have been right to be wary of this project from the start. It'll take a lot to get me to pay money to see it.