Russia Tells U.S. to Use A Trampoline to Send Its Astronauts to the ISS

Ed130 The Vanguard

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Sep 10, 2008
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Hero in a half shell said:
toms said:
This thread needs an adult.

I like how there are 2 conversations going on in this thread.

The first is a mud-slinging heavy handed political argument about Russian/American interests in Ukraine

The second is an amicable exploration of international trampoline manufacturers.

And yet, both are somehow equally relevant to the original topic.
I know, isn't it great!

(mind you, I'm the one arguing with someone who could be charitably called 'logic inadequate')
 
Mar 19, 2010
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Am i the only one that thinks that two wrongs do not make right? The space programs should cooperate. I hoped that the situation in Ukraine would not impact the ISS project but it looks like it is not going to happen. Russians annexed Crimea yes and everybody is losing their minds even though US is invading and robot bombing whatever they damn please but eh that is OOK because they are the bestest country in the world and someone has to be the global policeman i guess. Right?
And all you hurrr durr 'Murican space program is the best should realize that the ISS core and several other modules along with docking ports that were used even on the apparently best spacecraft ever the Shuttle were designed by russians. Russians could easily compete with US and europe if they had more funding. NASA is usually ahead because it receives more money it is as simple as that.
One more thing Buran on its first and last UNMANNED flight despite a lateral wind speed of 61.2 kilometres per hour (38.0 mph), landed only 3 metres (9.8 ft) laterally and 10 metres (33 ft) longitudinally from the target mark.
Guess what cancelled because of lack of money. Mir space station scuttled cause no money. All the while the oligarchy is rolling in state money At least you can see where the priorities lie for the Putin and the other leaders before him.
 

Sniper Team 4

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Okay, that is a burn. Politics, ethics, everything else aside, that is a burn. And a very good burn at that. I have to admit that I chuckled a bit at it.

I wonder if Neil Armstrong is rolling over in his grave. Or was it another astronaut who said that it was beyond embarrassing for the United States, the first nation to put a man on the moon, to now have to bum rides with Russia just to get to the space station?
 

Geo Da Sponge

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On topic... All these people arguing that Russia might be in the right, and I'm just like "I'm on the side that hasn't made being openly pro-LGBT illegal. Putin can go suck a dick."

shirkbot said:
Zontar said:
[image width=300]http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m4d16entGD1r5jtugo1_500.jpg[/IMG]
May I ask where you found this, and is it part of a larger series of comics that I could be reading?

It's from Kate Beaton's Hark! A Vagrant comic series, which is monstly about all kinds of historical shenanigans. That particular image is from Edgar Allan Poe getting fanmail from Jules Verne:

 

Zontar

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Feb 18, 2013
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major_chaos said:
Zontar said:
democracy
I love how that word gets thrown around as justification whenever America wants to sticks its dick where it doesn't belong, ignoring more logical explanations like "oil" and "geopolitical interests"
Also how is a violent US backed uprising "democratic"?
The uprising wasn't violent, at least not nearly as much as the Russian media tries to make it look. The most violent part of the uprising was the government crackdown. You know, the straw that broke the camel's back? The one which made the courts of both Ukraine and the ICC make the then president a wanted man? After which, even though he had a better tactical position then the protesters, he ran away to Russia?

The most violent part of this whole crisis has been the illegal Russian invasion of Crimea with intent to annex (2nd highest crime for a UN member after genocide) and the s*it they've been stirring in eastern Ukraine.

Given that Ukraine is set to have elections in May, while the occupied territory has no plan on putting the government formed from a party which received 4% of the vote in their last election, calling what Russia is doing against democracy while what Ukraine is doing to be the promotion of it, yes, saying that this is about democracy is a factual statement.

After all, it's not like Ukraine has much oil (that isn't sarcasm, Ukraine seriously has next to no oil. Plus why would the US put so much effort into getting it when pretty much all oil the US uses comes from domestic sources or imports from North and South America? If there was oil in Ukraine in amounts worth mentioning, it wouldn't end up in American cars, that's for sure).

This whole crisis is Russia stirring up s*it in an attempt to steal territory to win that madman of a dictator popularity points at home and prevent Ukraine from joining NATO (an inevitability now), nothing more, nothing less.

Sidenote: are you a furry by any chance (just asking because of your profile pic)? Because if you are, that makes your support of Russia in this all the more jarring.
 

CriticalMiss

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Li Mu said:
I for one think it's a great idea. How large do you think the trampoline would need to be to launch a shuttle into space?
I was wondering the same. Summon the Mythbusters! *powers up the Myth-signal*

This could be the start of the low-tech space race where any country with enough flat ground is in the running.

Sniper Team 4 said:
I wonder if Neil Armstrong is rolling over in his grave. Or was it another astronaut who said that it was beyond embarrassing for the United States, the first nation to put a man on the moon, to now have to bum rides with Russia just to get to the space station?
Well the USA might have been the first to put a man on the Moon, but Russia did pretty much everything else space related first. So it's not that embarassing to go with them. If they were hitching a ride with North Korea THEN they could blush a little.
 

Ukomba

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I am shocked, SHOCKED, that scrapping our own space program and relying entierly on the good will and finantial stability of a historically hostile and unstable country could possibly backfire on us... SHOCKED. What psychic could have for seen something like this?!?!?
 

orangeapples

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Wait, Russia is charging us $60 million to send a single astronaut into space? how much did we lose in NASA to where $60 million a person seemed like a better deal?
 

The_Darkness

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CriticalMiss said:
Li Mu said:
I for one think it's a great idea. How large do you think the trampoline would need to be to launch a shuttle into space?
I was wondering the same. Summon the Mythbusters! *powers up the Myth-signal*

This could be the start of the low-tech space race where any country with enough flat ground is in the running.
Well, the problem is that it's not just about size. You can't gain energy from a trampoline (unless you're playing Goat Simulator) - if you jump onto a trampoline, you will bounce away from it with less energy than you put in. I suppose that it's a pretty decent way of building energy, since you can add a bit more energy to your bounce with each jump, but that energy still needs to come from somewhere...

Although, I suppose that you'd need a relatively large trampoline in order for it to not break with the amount of energy that it's regularly absorbing and deflecting. You'd need it to be able to withstand someone falling onto it from space.

I'm guessing XKCD What-If will probably tackle this question fairly soon.

On the other topic... Nope, actually I'm not getting involved in that debate. I'll just say that I was much happier when there wasn't much chance of Russia and the US coming to blows.
 

Trunkage

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Scytail said:
major_chaos said:
"I propose that the United States delivers its astronauts to the ISS with the help of a trampoline."
So nice to see a government not bend over for American interests for once. Go Russia, best of luck in the Ukraine and fuck western backed regimes in general.
Yeah! Fuck those western backed regimes! Not like Russia has it's dick in several countries as well. Not like any country with the power to back it wont start manipulating activities in other countries to suit their own needs.
Eye for an eye right? Or maybe dick for a dick? Its the capitalist way to exploit 'lesser countries'. American and Russia both do this all the time. My country rip off the countries close by, buying wood at incredibly small prices, physically steal oil off other countries and lets not talk about our 'illegal immigrant' problem. (I'm talking about Australia, the land of the rich stealing from the poor. It may not have been clear)
 

RJ 17

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Zontar said:
There are just no words. I know this is the internet where opinions very from as far left to as far right as they can get, plus countless ideologies which have no words to describe, but the level of anti-democracy, pro-dictatorship, pro... you know what, I'll just use this image, it described my feelings more accurately then words ever could.

It's beautiful, isn't it? They should have sent a poet...

Seriously though, this is why I stay the hell out of the Religion and Politics section. No matter what you post there, your inbox will soon be filled with countless people quoting you that are more than happy to tell you just how incredibly wrong you are for thinking what you think and why you're stupid/a terrible person for thinking that way.

Generally it's 20 people making a slight variation of the exact same comment in response to your post.

The R&P section should come with toxic waste warning symbols placed all around it.
 

Gorrath

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CriticKitten said:
And this was the inherent flaw in Obama's plan to cut NASA's budget and kill the shuttle program.

Now Russia can legitimately threaten to keep us from sending astronauts there (or bringing our current ones back), and there's not a damn thing we can do about it.

This is an issue that was completely avoidable, if we hadn't focused so much on typical left/right "politics" over meaningless issues and kept the funding intact for the organization which has developed many of the modern conveniences we enjoy today.
To be fair, the shuttle program needed to be mothballed. I know it seems like a huge blow to NASA not having their own shuttles, but those aging things cost a damned fortune to launch and issues with insulation breaking off during launch directly led to the loss of the Columbia and all her astronauts, a problem that continued to persist in later launches. 60 mil is cheap compared to the cost of a space mission flown by one of our old shuttles and it's not like we aren't developing an alternative craft, it just takes time. All in all, even if the Russians were to block us from sending our people on their craft it will likely just hasten our own development of the new craft and in the meantime, we aren't exactly losing something we can't live without for a while.
 

RealRT

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MrFalconfly said:
major_chaos said:
"I propose that the United States delivers its astronauts to the ISS with the help of a trampoline."
So nice to see a government not bend over for American interests for once. Go Russia, best of luck in the Ukraine and fuck western backed regimes in general.
Hang on?!?

Russia going all "Winter War" (look it up, it's not the first time Russia has annexed foreign territory as a bufferzone) on Ukraine is a good thing?!?

Sorry mate, but Ukraine is not a "USA vs Russia" thing. It's Russia illegally annexing foreign territory from a sovereign country (Ukraine).

I don't know where that bollocks about Ukraine "belonging to Russia" came from, but fact of the matter is that Ukraine is a sovereign nation and Russia should back the fuck off.
If by "annexing" you mean "Crimea wanted to join Russia instead of the clusterfuck that is the current Ukraine and people of Crimea voted for that fair and square on a referendum", then yeah, that was annexing.
 

Saulkar

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Zontar said:
Sidenote: are you a furry by any chance (just asking because of your profile pic)? Because if you are, that makes your support of Russia in this all the more jarring.
Furry/Scaly here, sup, I am curious as to why you find it jarring. Is it because of something happening in Russia that I did not hear about?

OT: I will not get into the flamewar over the Ukrainian/Russian crisis or what have you and simply state that our countries need to get our collective heads out of our asses. I am of the firm belief that our future lies in the stars and will be mildly disappointed if we send ourselves into extinction before that happens.
 

Callate

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Why do I suspect there's at least one cosmonaut in space right now muttering, "#@$%, guys, I don't give a damn about Ukraine... Can you just keep us out of it, please...?"
 

major_chaos

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Zontar said:
The uprising wasn't violent, at least not nearly as much as the Russian media tries to make it look. The most violent part of the uprising was the government crackdown.
You honestly don't think police were killed by protesters? You really think responding to violence with violence is some kind of evil "crackdown"? You really think the US has any right to complain about how people treat protesters?

After which, even though he had a better tactical position then the protesters, he ran away to Russia?
Possibly because he *shockhorror* didn't want to be strung up and used for target practice.

The most violent part of this whole crisis has been the illegal Russian invasion of Crimea with intent to annex
Right. Their evil invasion to protect ethnic Russians from the violent protesters who in all likelihood would not have been terrible polite to those they would consider the blood of the enemy. And you know the whole thing where Crimea voted to be part of Russia and the people who claim that was a scam have a strangely hard time coming up with evidence other than "EVUL RUSSIANS!!"
EDIT: I also can't find anything indicating more than 10 Kiev-loyal Ukrainians dead, compared to 15 dissenters killed by the Kiev government.

After all, it's not like Ukraine has much oil (that isn't sarcasm, Ukraine seriously has next to no oil. Plus why would the US put so much effort into getting it when pretty much all oil the US uses comes from domestic sources or imports from North and South America? If there was oil in Ukraine in amounts worth mentioning, it wouldn't end up in American cars, that's for sure).
Mentioning oil was a stab at our pointless entanglement in the middle east. US interest in the Ukraine has more to do with the west preferring to have Russia surrounded by nations friendly to western interests.

madman of a dictator
You say that, yet he makes my skin crawl far less than any western leader. Not to mention the rare presence of an actual spine which is almost unheard of in modern politics.

are you a furry by any chance?
No. I enjoy a few comics with the art style but I don't identify with or seek out that subculture. I have that avatar because I enjoy the comic its from and can relate to the protagonist in a lot of ways that don't involve having fluffy ears.
Because if you are, that makes your support of Russia in this all the more jarring.
Why? Does Russia have some kinda of anti furry law? Because that would be fucking hilarious.