Saints Row 3 Dildo Smoothed Out in Japan

[Roofstone]

Dude, Japan has no right to censor anything. Hell, look at this monstrosity. LOOK AT IT!

Yeeeaaah.. That is enough internet for me today....

OT: This seems rather pointless, considering that it is still a god damn giant phallus! Vein less or not..

 

[Adam Jensen_v1legacy]

This is fuckin' weird.

 

[Lunar Templar]

Really Japan?

Really?

That's where you draw the line?

i like to think of it as ironic, sad, confusing, but ironic

 

[Lord Mountbatten Reborn]

This is fuckin' weird.

Adam Jensen, did you ever ask for this?

And yes, I realise you've probably gotten this a lot before.

 

[Irridium]

But...Japan has an annual penis festival where they celebrate the penis. I don't understand.

Spoiler

Also, I think my character will look exactly like that picture.

I...
I don't...

I don't have words for this. I mean... yeah, I have no words.

I guess... yeah, I don't know. Oh, Japan... I don't know how you can continue to render me speechless.

 

[Thaluikhain]

Wait, so the game involves attacking people with a giant phallus?

Did I miss the outrage over this?

 

[CM156_v1legacy]

This is fuckin' weird.

A Giant Purple Dick?

Spoiler

OT: If FOX doesn't say anything about there even BEING a giant purple dildo, I think that means they've stopped caring about video games corrupting youth.

 

[OldGus]

Doesn't Japan have more than its fair share of weirdos with sex toys and anime porn? Heck, even their scientists seem to be aiming for sex robots, judging from their advances in technology. Maybe Japan has an equal number of sex-obsessed juveniles and banhammer-happy politicians.

Or maybe I'm just being racist by saying this.

If you want to get even more confused, until last year, I was living in a prefecture famous for its penis festival.
OT, C'mon Japan! You do have a special time once a year in which several parts of the country parade a massive carved wooden cock, a massive vagina, and/or several smaller ones, and sells dick themed souvenirs, keychains, and candy. You can't tell me in all honesty that this is too much for the children. The same children encouraged to dress up for and come to these festivals.
EDIT: Thought maybe I should add a link. feel free to browse at your own peril.

That being said, if you've never seen a penis on the internet... How?
http://photoguide.jp/pix/thumbnails.php?album=529

 

[OldGus]

But...Japan has an annual penis festival where they celebrate the penis. I don't understand.

Spoiler

Also, I think my character will look exactly like that picture.

I...
I don't...

I don't have words for this. I mean... yeah, I have no words.

I guess... yeah, I don't know. Oh, Japan... I don't know how you can continue to render me speechless.

Its not just one. Yes, they are equal-opportunity genital paraders, and have ones for vaginas too.

 

[Irridium]

But...Japan has an annual penis festival where they celebrate the penis. I don't understand.

Spoiler

Also, I think my character will look exactly like that picture.

I...
I don't...

I don't have words for this. I mean... yeah, I have no words.

I guess... yeah, I don't know. Oh, Japan... I don't know how you can continue to render me speechless.

Its not just one. Yes, they are equal-opportunity genital paraders, and have ones for vaginas too.

So, they have literal god damn parades for penises and vagina's, but they won't let Saints Row 3 have a detailed dildo.

I can't find the proper words, or image, to display what I'm feeling right now.

This is the closest I could find that represents me right now.

Spoiler

 

[freaper]

But...Japan has an annual penis festival where they celebrate the penis. I don't understand.

Spoiler

Also, I think my character will look exactly like that picture.

I...
I don't...

I don't have words for this. I mean... yeah, I have no words.

I guess... yeah, I don't know. Oh, Japan... I don't know how you can continue to render me speechless.

Its not just one. Yes, they are equal-opportunity genital paraders, and have ones for vaginas too.

...I...I gotta talk to my Japanese teacher about this...

 

[BehattedWanderer]

Man, what a dick move!

OT: This is really, really silly, isn't it?

Question: does that qualify as a dick joke or a pun?

Why can't it be both? Only a prick would say it has to be one or the other.

Well, I ask only because I find it my duty to shoot people who make bad puns. It's a matter of nipping it in the bud.

I let it go on the flamethrower pistol, and it grew out of control. I still have nightmares from that day oh so many hours ago...

Speaking of which

May you learn to not pun in your next life...

You're shooting people with bad puns? On this site? Man, you're not dicking around here, are you? Guess you'll have your hands full. Especially with that giant purple dragon wang they're swinging around.

 

[gphjr14]

Japan really?
Of all places a country known for animated rape and tentacle porn has a law against the depiction of a penis.

Also the Kanamara Matsuri is a annual festival centered around a large penis.

Again really Japan?

 

[Valagetti]

Am I the only one who made the connection with, beating people to death with a dildo joke, with Lock n' stock and two smoking barrels?

I bet thats where they got the idea from.

 

[SageRuffin]

If you want to get even more confused, until last year, I was living in a prefecture famous for its penis festival.
OT, C'mon Japan! You do have a special time once a year in which several parts of the country parade a massive carved wooden cock, a massive vagina, and/or several smaller ones, and sells dick themed souvenirs, keychains, and candy. You can't tell me in all honesty that this is too much for the children. The same children encouraged to dress up for and come to these festivals.
EDIT: Thought maybe I should add a link. feel free to browse at your own peril.

That being said, if you've never seen a penis on the internet... How?
http://photoguide.jp/pix/thumbnails.php?album=529

Wow... I don't even have words for this except for that if there was a cake nearby, that would definitely take it.

And I thought the sex toys based off various anime girls was fucked-up...

 

[chrono16]

Dude, Japan has no right to censor anything. Hell, look at this monstrosity. LOOK AT IT!

I .. uh ... wha?? ...... WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT @_@?????

Holy Shit....that was the most random...I have no idea... can i buy this??

 

[Richardplex]

Fun fact: Hentai exists because while they can show female parts they forbid male parts and that's how tenticles got involved. Yes I am sick for knowing that.

More specifically, tentacles became popular due to their way of avoiding censors. However, The Dream of a Fisherman's Wife's existence implies that tentacles had some erotic value before skirting around censors. I already knew about the history of tentacles in hentai too, /sick person brofist.

 

[Richardplex]

Japan really?
Of all places a country known for animated rape and tentacle porn has a law against the depiction of a penis.

Also the Kanamara Matsuri is a annual festival centered around a large penis.

Again really Japan?

Blame the west. We introduced the censorship laws back when Japan was occupied after WW2. Even though that stuff is over, censorship over pornography rarely gets removed once the law is in place. So really, I can blame you for this.

 

[Andy of Comix Inc]

Just because things come out of Japan doesn't mean the Japanese ratings board approves of it. Most of those weird things you see coming out of Japan are from the internet, and therefore unrated.

That doesn't explain that penis day, though.

 

[Reaper195]

I wonder if Japan would have censored it if it were a giant tentacle?

One of the oddest moments early on in Saints Row: The Third happens when you walk into a weapons shop and look at the melee implements for sale. What's the big purple thing? Oh. That's ... amazing. Wielding it on poor unsuspecting souls in Steelport is one of the weird joys of SR3, but reports are coming in from Japan that their localized version is not quite so life like as the North American version of the gang simulator. The "Penetrator" in question has been smoothed out and the wobbly physics have been removed. That's right, Japan has censored the big purple dildo.

So I hadn't seen the dildo trailer and I spent that entire paragraph going "....what the f....what are you talking about!?