Say something to an inanimate object.


New member
Nov 23, 2011
We all own inanimate objects. We must. We also all have inanimate objects which we cherish and love. Some of us would love to say something to let them know you love them.

So if you could say something to an inanimate object of yours (or not) what would it be?

Mine would go something like this.

To my dearest Nokia,

You were my first phone, and my first true love. You battled through thick and thin with me and could not thank you enough. You survived the most outrageous things, getting throws against walls and such, but you always stayed alive to me.

I still remember the day you died. You were dropped in a fire, I ran to your rescue. I took you out, and even though you were melted, you found a way to stay alive. For me. But your condition got worse. Your melted body had melted over your charging slot. You were deteriorating fast. I knew when you died. I try to turn you on but you just couldn't. You were gone. But I knew your pain had ceased. I knew you were in a better place.

You did everything to stay alive. To stay with me .

I think of you everyday.

I miss you.



Elementary - Dear Watson

RIP Eleuthera, I will miss you
Nov 9, 2010
Dear TV,

You are my world...! You are there for me through thick and thin! You are there when I laugh and cry, when I am frightened and when I feel on top of the world! You share my greatest wins and my drunken fails, and you are even present when I bring home company...

Your glow when I turn you on entices me to stay with you, and usually, I do for a lot longer than I should! You are 2D and 3D and you can even read my harddrive, which is so goddamn awesome!

You even have your own internet browser... this makes you 20X more awsome than my shitty laptop...!

May we spend the rest of your life together...

Yours Truely,


Scarim Coral

Jumped the ship
Apr 30, 2020
To my first rice cooker in my University years,

Thank you for boiling up my rice and doing it without any problems for me. I am sorry for not taking a better care of you. While I did my best to look after you, I should had NEVER EVER let my three roommates had used and mistreated you that way! Seriously how the hell did they scratch your bowl so badly?
I already had a grudes to those three for being loud, obnoxious and causing my ceiling to leak out water but what they did to you was unforgivable!!!! If I had know the outcome, I would of kept you to myself and you would of stayed in my room even when it's cover in the smell of rice!
Your life had been abrutly short lived despite my mum tried her best to find a bowl replacement during her trip to Hong Kong. Your life was not in vain as it show me a greater deal to take a better care to my next rice cooker.

I cherish those moments when you made the rice perfect for me despite how much you had suffer.

I understand if you don't forgive me. I needed for you to listen to what I have to say.

I'm so sorry.

Scarim Coral

(Before you asked why I'm making a big deal out of this, my relatives from Hong Kong bought me that rice cooker and it's was my first time owning one for myself. It was kind of precious to me.)

Sarah Kerrigan

New member
Jan 17, 2010
Dear Magic Cards;

Your ruining my life. I start school tomorrow and I have about seven people coming over tonight for some magic games and I need the sleep to rive to school tomorrow at Five in the morning.

Also, I'm more in love with planeswalkers than I am my own boyfriend.



New member
Jun 2, 2010
Dear External Hard drive
please hang in there for a few more weeks. just till i can afford a new one and copy the data over. I swear that if you die on my now and lose the terabyte of data i have stored on you then i will smash your corpse with a hammer.

This Guy


acting on my best behaviour
Mar 6, 2012
Dear computer,

I use you too much? Fine - I'll just use you for gaming that isn't a problem. But when I got Dell for day-to-day things, I thought you would have been happy for me but noooo. Is it because I take him places with me? It's not my fault you're too heavy and can't leave the house.

When I log on to use you all of a sudden you're slow? I formatted you, I ran a virus check and yet you still keep doing this? You can't even handle The Sims 3 anymore... seriously Foxcon... we used to do so much together.

I am going to continue using Dell but you need to know that I have found someone else. I have found another Dell... he's got a better graphics card and he won't let me down. He'll be moving in next week.

Goodbye Foxcon, I loved you.



Z of the Na'vi

Born with one kidney.
Apr 27, 2009
White Lightning said:
Wow Toilet, you sure have a crappy job.

Good one!

OT: Dear stress-ball, sitting there on my desk: why do you stare at me so?

All day, you lay there, occasionally taking a good throttling in stride, and yet still you sit there, silently. Do you dream? Are you contemplating an act of revenge? Make no mistake, it was nothing personal, squeezing the hell out of you so many times. That is your purpose, stress-ball. You were made to be squeezed.

Like a boob.


Z of the Na'vi

Mr Cwtchy

New member
Jan 13, 2009
Z of the Na said:
Funnily enough, at home we've got a stress ball that looks like a boob.

OT: Dear printer, you make a lot of noise but the results are always sub-par. Either print out my documents properly or shut the hell up.

P.S. Stop chewing my paper you slob.


New member
Mar 22, 2008
White Lightning said:
Wow Toilet, you sure have a crappy job.
Dammit , i came into this thread to say exactly that !

OT: i got nothing... :/ gah! You win this round White Lighting.


New member
May 17, 2010
Dear Computer,
You may think I don't appreciate all the work you do for me. I spend my whole life with you and believe me when I say; I love you for it.
I love the way your motherboard glistens in the morning sun through the glass panel in your side, and the sound you make when I press your power button.
Don't get me started on your RAM, Grrrrroooww.
I'm sorry for the time I accidently downloaded a virus, but I've kept with you throughout the hardships, and I hope our time together never ends.

Well, except in a few years when I replace you.
- Love Danny x x

Eclipse Dragon

Lusty Argonian Maid
Jul 7, 2020
United States
Dear PlayStation 2

Although we've grown apart in recent years and I no longer desire your hardware,
I just want you to know you'll always be my favorite.

With love


New member
Jun 20, 2011
Hello, there, Random Stapler! Nice day, isn't it. Well, I don't have any paper, so, you have the day off. Go see that Firey Hole Punchers concert you alwways wanted to go to.

fish iron4

New member
Dec 6, 2010
Oh hello there stack of 5 Lemon Russ tanks I really should get around to building, and no today is not the day.