Science!: Black Holes, Night Vision and Garbage

[awmperry]

Kudos for a very interesting and enjoyable article!

One thing, though...

CERN is a gigantic facility built on the Franco-Swiss border near Geneva that hosts a Large Hadron Collider, a machine that basically throws tiny particles at each other at incredibly high speeds. When the particles collide, there's just the tiniest chance that a black hole could be created. The conversation between us and the researchers at CERN went thusly:
PETTY HUMANS: BLACK HOLES ARE BAD AND MAYBE WE SHOULDN'T BRING ABOUT THE APOCALYPSE IN THE NAME OF SCIENCE.
CERN: NO WAI! YOU GUYZ R DUM LOL THE BLACK HOLE WUD BE SO SMALL IT WUD COLLAPSE IN ON ITSELF MROW.
Well, apparently you can't have too many black hole-creating machines.

No, actually the conversation's more along the lines of:

PEOPLE WHO DIDN'T LISTEN IN SCHOOL: "Black holes are bad and maybe we shouldn't bring about the apocalypse in the name of science."
PEOPLE WHO DID THE RESEARCH AND KNOW WHAT THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT: "Yeah... it doesn't work that way. Look, actual calculations."

The point is that black holes aren't magic vacuum cleaners; their gravity is entirely dependent on their mass, and a black hole resulting from the collision of two protons has the mass of two protons. A black hole the mass of the earth - were such a thing possible - would have an identical gravity field to Earth, and even that wouldn't work.

The theory is quite complicated, but the bottom line is this: if the Daily Mail or Fox News are panicking about it, it's fairly safe to ignore it.

 

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[samsonguy920]

CERN: NO WAI! YOU GUYZ R DUM LOL THE BLACK HOLE WUD BE SO SMALL IT WUD COLLAPSE IN ON ITSELF MROW.

How did you get a copy of this transcript? Only a select few were invited and we were told not to let anybody know what went on.

I agree, the sword story was a bit of a stretch. But, come on, SWORDS! I had to make it work in any way possible.

I like the thought of preserving the memory of a loved one in something actually utilitarian, especially cool like a sword. What else might one use a deceased relatives remains to help create?

You know, this sword article goes really well with the news about that college kid slaying a burglar with his katana. Defeat your enemies and then trap their souls for eternity!

Okay, I just have to say it......you ninja'd my idea!

 

[Eagle Est1986]

I agree, the sword story was a bit of a stretch. But, come on, SWORDS! I had to make it work in any way possible.

And I'm glad you did, that article was awesome, they were all good, but I now want my body to be used in the making of a fine sword when I die. And then that sword will be kept in the family for generations to come. Better than wasting valuable grave space.

 

[Green Ninja]

Great new column! I really enjoyed it and I'm looking forward to the next issue.

I don't mind the article about swords.

 

[randommaster]

CERN: NO WAI! YOU GUYZ R DUM LOL THE BLACK HOLE WUD BE SO SMALL IT WUD COLLAPSE IN ON ITSELF MROW.

How did you get a copy of this transcript? Only a select few were invited and we were told not to let anybody know what went on.

I agree, the sword story was a bit of a stretch. But, come on, SWORDS! I had to make it work in any way possible.

I like the thought of preserving the memory of a loved one in something actually utilitarian, especially cool like a sword. What else might one use a deceased relatives remains to help create?

You know, this sword article goes really well with the news about that college kid slaying a burglar with his katana. Defeat your enemies and then trap their souls for eternity!

Okay, I just have to say it......you ninja'd my idea!

I will now trap that idea in a sword that will be used instead of my wit.

 

[Lauren Admire]

For those wondering about the effect of phosphorus on steel, here's the hard science.

 

[BehattedWanderer]

Articles--the new video?

And I thought you were gonna talk about swords made of bones. I was perplexed. Though not all that heavy on the science, come to think of it. More a reference to what science is doing. And I thought there were other ways to activate the cones in your eyes that already existed? Not well enough to process light, but enough to percieve distinct dimensions?

 

[FangsFirst]

I quite admire your article, Lauren! Ha-ha-ha, heh heh...

I love me some puns!

The poor thing is subjected to enough horrific puns as is...don't make it worse!


...That said...you only wrote about CERN because they use "SQUIDS," amirite?

 

[Irridium]

Bill! Bill! Bill! Bill Nye the science guy!

Couldn't resist, we watched a few of his videos in biology a couple of years ago, they were hilarious.

Bill Nye kicks more ass than any other scientist on Earth.

 

[SimplyTheWest]

That....Was....Awesome!

I really enjoyed reading that....i must find said eye drops....

 

[headshotcatcher]

Science!: Black Holes, Night Vision and Garbage

Welcome to the debut issue of Science!, your weekly roundup of the latest scientific news. Please exercise caution when entering and exiting, and keep your hands and feet away from the edges.

Read Full Article

First of all, I love your name (or admire, if you will (bet you hear that all the time))


Anyway, love the column, where can I sign up for nightvision chlorophyll?

 

[srpilha]

brilliant, brilliant stuff. I'll definitely follow this one.

btw, justnotcricket rocks.

 

[grigjd3]

This is awesome. Escapist Magazine should be providing us more of this.