Scientists Want To Put Spiders In Your Blood

[Smooth Operator]

Relax people it's just a catalyzer ball... I do think that's a better name then spiders.
I can just see the adds now, "Need balls son? Get some balls today, Catalyzer Balls that is!"

The-in-ory this is pretty neat, but if it goes wrong for just one moment this shit could pump you full of clots so fast you couldn't even pull off that spiderman joke you were saving up all year.

 

[McMullen]

Why,why in the name of fucking everything did scientists decide this was a good idea. SPIDERS. IN. YOUR. BLOOD.

I cannot imagine this having a good future impact,but then again,I'm a pessimist.

Did you read the article? Or did you just post in reply to the headline? There are no spiders, just journalists who confuse sensationalist headlines with good journalism.

 

[kickyourass]

This seems like a really bad and a really good idea all that the same time. On the one hand it might work and they could save countless lives by starting to repair injuries before the paramedics get their. But this could also go horribly wrong and they could accidentally liquefy someone's brain.
Also how exactly are you supposed to pitch "We're going to inject millions of tiny spider-like robots into your bloodstream" to people with arachnophobia?

 

[Iron Mal]

Why,why in the name of fucking everything did scientists decide this was a good idea. SPIDERS. IN. YOUR. BLOOD.

I cannot imagine this having a good future impact,but then again,I'm a pessimist.

Could you possibly get over acting like a six year old girl and stop being put off by how 'icky' spiders are so we can look at this realistically?

Right, now while this may sound initially gross and horrible there is a possability that this could actually work. How do vaccines work? They inject what is essentially a weakened form of otherwise harmful and deadly viruses into your blood so you can develop an immunity to them.

With enough time and research put into it there's no conceievable reason that microspider-based healing couldn't be a possability (and it's hard to think of a reason that what would effectively amount to regeneration would be a bad thing).

 

[The Virgo]

This should be a movie: Spiders in a Bloodstream. I can just see Samuel L. Jackson saying, "I'VE HAD IT WITH THESE MOTHERFUCKING SPIDERS IN MY MOTHERFUCKING BLOOD!"

OT: Keep those Goddamn spider-like bots out of my fucking blood. Thank you.

EDIT: You know, this article kind of reminds me of this:

 

[SoopaSte123]

And it comes full circle as I learn of the amazing things going on in my own university from the website I use to procrastinate on my schoolwork. Good job, Escapist.

 

[McMullen]

The headline:
Scientists Want To Put Spiders In Your Blood

The content:
Each sphere is made up of two halves - one hemisphere is gold, the other silica - and looks like a gold-and-silver Christmas bauble.

You would think that, with all the trouble it has paying contributors that actually put work into their content, the Escapist wouldn't have any patience for the kind of cheap, blatantly lazy journalism that you deposit on this site in little steaming piles. It is unfortunate that you're still around.

 

[2733]

I could see this having use if they had a 48 hour lifespan and could go to work within 2-3 minutes for those at war, kinda like a health pack.

 

[TheKramers]

You're a little late for this post. Go on netflix and watch the movie "Transcendant Man" he predicted this years ago and explained everything that will happen within the next 40 years.

 

[Alphakirby]

Why,why in the name of fucking everything did scientists decide this was a good idea. SPIDERS. IN. YOUR. BLOOD.

I cannot imagine this having a good future impact,but then again,I'm a pessimist.

Did you read the article? Or did you just post in reply to the headline? There are no spiders, just journalists who confuse sensationalist headlines with good journalism.

Why yes I did,they are microspiders that heal you from the inside. I just don't trust technology until it's been perfected if it means the chance of death.

 

[brodie21]

No. No, I refuse to be involved with anything involving spiders. Robots or no.

heard, if i knew i had mechanical spiders in my body i would likely go insane and start trying to get them out. i hate spiders that much

 

[Alphakirby]

Why,why in the name of fucking everything did scientists decide this was a good idea. SPIDERS. IN. YOUR. BLOOD.

I cannot imagine this having a good future impact,but then again,I'm a pessimist.

Could you possibly get over acting like a six year old girl and stop being put off by how 'icky' spiders are so we can look at this realistically?

Right, now while this may sound initially gross and horrible there is a possability that this could actually work. How do vaccines work? They inject what is essentially a weakened form of otherwise harmful and deadly viruses into your blood so you can develop an immunity to them.

With enough time and research put into it there's no conceievable reason that microspider-based healing couldn't be a possability (and it's hard to think of a reason that what would effectively amount to regeneration would be a bad thing).

I understand that it could be a good possibility,but the point is this. Any glitches in the system can essentially be harmless or extremely dangerous. I get that microspiders can be a good thing,but when say a TV has a problem,you buy a new TV,your bloodstream,healing,microspiders have an issue,you could potentially be fucked.

 

[CrystalShadow]

Hmm.

Sounds to me like they've devised the nanotech equivalent of the platelet.

You know, the cell in the human body that plugs up the holes when you're bleeding?
Yay for inventing something the body already does by itself. XD

OK, cynical joke aside, this probably will be very useful if they can get it to work properly. Platelets don't work all that quickly, so I'm sure this will be helpful with certain kinds of injuries.
More importantly, it clearly could form the basis of other nanotech devices for use within the body.

 

[Doclector]

No no no no no no. I don't care what they sat, no pidwrs in my blood. No spiders in my blood. I hate spiders. They nice to ecosystem bur mean to me. No spiders. Please. Pretty please.

They're not spiders for god sake. They're no more spiders then Bacteriophages are.

Why the hell does this article pointlessly sensationalize aspects of this, and why the hell do people fall for it?

1) I don't know. 2) I was hilariously drunk at the time...

 

[TerribleAssassin]

Anyone else thinking the episode of Futurama where Fry get's the healing parasites?

Anyway, it's a great idea, but I'm still skeptical.

 

[McMullen]

Why,why in the name of fucking everything did scientists decide this was a good idea. SPIDERS. IN. YOUR. BLOOD.

I cannot imagine this having a good future impact,but then again,I'm a pessimist.

Did you read the article? Or did you just post in reply to the headline? There are no spiders, just journalists who confuse sensationalist headlines with good journalism.

Why yes I did,they are microspiders that heal you from the inside. I just don't trust technology until it's been perfected if it means the chance of death.

Fair enough, but it's no more scary, crazy, or creepy than any other medical practice. In fact, I have ideas for what the headlines would have been like if this douchebag of a writer had been around to announce their invention:

Surgery: "Wise Men" Want to Cut You Up, Tie Your Entrails in Knots, and Sew You Back Together

Antibiotics: Scientists Feed Mold to the Terminally Ill

Vaccines: Scientists Tired of Waiting for People to get Infected with Fatal Illnesses, Proactively Inject Healthy People with Smallpox

Chemotherapy: Scientists Begin Poisoning Cancer Patients, Figure "What Have They Got to Lose?"

Radiotherapy: Scientists Begin Nuking Cancer Patients Because Poisoning was Too Damn Slow and Boring

 

[BlumiereBleck]

Hence the word scientist.....

 

[Vanguard_Ex]

Fine, whatever it takes to make me Wolverine. Nanobot spiders in my blood? JUST HOOK THEM TO MY VEINS.

 

[Tselis]

Freaking Awesome!!!

EDIT: Okay, Maybe I should temper my enthusiasm some, but this just sounds so much cooler than the flying cars Jettsons future we were promised.

 

[fanklok]

...I live in PA, does someone want to help me get the hell outta here for when the spiders take over peoples bodies.

I know a guy in NM you drive and I'll sleep in the back.