Sell the user above you!

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Teoes will help you move faster than the speed of camera! Order today!

 

[Teoes]

Buy this account today and get all the benefits of an established user, well-known name and a stupendously enviable post count. £100 is £100.

 

[Teoes]

Buy a Tizzy, for all your manual breathing needs. See that? Breathing. You know, that one thing you can't live without doing. Yeah, this guy's important. He's yours for an arm, a leg and your firstborn.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Buy a Teoes. Nothing gets past him because he moves 3 times normal speed! He's the perfect bodyguard and house guardian. Forget expensive and universally useless alarm systems. Teoes will beat the crap out of any potential thief before he even opens the silverware drawer.

 

[Teoes]

Redlin5 back in stock, because people keep returning him. *sigh* £5 and I'll even throw in some on-site repairs for the first two months.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Teoes, off the shelf. Discontinued due to complaints about migraines after consuming.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Warning, Redlin5 may be very addictive. Side effects include double posting and doing silly antics.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Get the new 22nd version of Redlin5. Satisfaction guaranteed.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

TizzytheBobblehead!

$8.50

 

[Barbas]

Have you ever thought about buying one of those little white plastic cats that waves its arms up and down? Well, screw those things! Just sit this wee bloke anywhere in the room and watch in horror as his head swivels around of its own accord to stare chillingly at you again and again, just like that poor, poor girl from The Exorcist! This product is guaranteed to be absolutely indestructible - that's right, you can't destroy this creepy little blighter no matter...how hard...you...try...

Please take it. Take it, take it take it OH GOD ITS LOOKING AT ME FIFTY POUNDS NO REFUNDS

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

The Fabulous Barbas XMAS DOGE! Limited supply, $400.00 ea.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

I don't sell myself. I'm not a whore.

>.<

 

[kailus13]

Is your post count too low? Get a Redlin5! Order now and get a free Santa hat in the bargain!

 

[Barbas]

Very rare, last in stock. May cause fifth-degree burns and/or cardiac arrest if provoked. Mostly mint condition, some minor Ultra ball bruising.

45,000p

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Get a Barbas for your fence! It'll keep intruders away!

 

[Morsomk_v1legacy]

Come here down at Zig-Zaggin garage and get your own freaking bird of electricity! Yep, this baby has got more packing then the electric box that is powering your house!

 

[Barbas]

Grab yourself a Police Linoone for those high-speed chases. Only 35,000p!

 

[kailus13]

Class up the place with a statue of um... some sort of god! It must be a good one, it's holding a heart!

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

The kailus13, the fastest broomstick on the market! Trade in that Firebolt and fly at the speed of light!

 

[kailus13]

Get yourself a Redlin5, he has all the badges you could ever need, and probably more than you could want! Order now for only 76 Dogecoins!