Ah. Where...where shall I begin? Perhaps with this, an introduction:
My name is Akiha Tohno. In the seventh season of Shiriaru Kira, after managing to survive the previous six, I was executed by my fellow contestants. I was the last of the original group who survived. Not to say that that was any accomplishment, considering that there were only three of us left by then.
Now, the rest of the introduction, I'm sure you know all too well. Each of us entered hell, and each of us were once again conscripted to play this farce of a game. Thus, in the interest of my remaining time here, I will skip to the part of the story that is distinctly mine, and mine alone.
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I stared at the knocker on the dark mahogany door, and it stared back at me, a hideous visage that the gargoyles of Notre Dame can only dream of resembling. The gaze that turned itself to stone had begun its work on me, and, with my Vader helmet resting under my arm, I had to admit that it was making admirable progress.
That, however, was not what I came here for. Raising a hand hesitantly, I curled it around the stone ring it held in its mouth and knocked, once, twice, thr-
"For the love of myself, if you're going to come in, then come in." Satan's voice boomed from inside the room.
I took a seat as Sena Kashiwazaki-the current Devil-poured each of us a glass of rum, my favorite drink. The message was not lost on me.
Satan's voice mocked me from her first sentence. "So, how goes it, my dear spy?"
"You know damn well that that's why I'm here." I scowled. "I'm going to ensure that Kira is caught swiftly this time. You only lived as long as you did because we messed up."
"And I wouldn't have lost if I hadn't pitied you all. Your point?" Laughter danced in Sena's eyes.
"I'm asking the questions here, you bloody devil." I finished my glass of rum. "I want to know. Kira-er, the Killer's name. Does it-"
A fleeting shadow caught my eye in the corner, interrupting my interrogation. It disappeared just as quickly. "Is there a problem, spy?"
I turned back to Satan, a sharp retort on my tongue, before freezing. There was a shadowy figure standing just behind her chair. She tilted her head again. "What, black cat got your tongue?"
A black, clawed paw reached out, over her shoulder, and depressed a button on a panel to her side. Satan didn't seem to pay it any mind, simply watching me amusedly as my chair flipped backwards and I disappeared into a dark shaft.
It was a long tumble down. At some point, the shaft began to angle sideways, and I had half a second to react as it spat me out of the side of some room. I reached out my hand blindly and felt it strike metal. I held on. I wasn't dead yet.
"Not dead yet." I opened my eyes to the sound of footsteps on metal, echoing into infinity. A wide, cylindrical chamber, lined with brightly lit walls of machinery. I was hanging onto the bottom of a single long walkway, protruding into the center and hanging above a pit of infinite blackness. It all looked very familiar. Too familiar.
"I don't suppose it's too late to tell you that I am your father?"
Oh, for the love of-
"You know, you could've picked a better scene." I pulled myself onto a small ledge and glared up at Kira, my hand searching for that lightsaber I bought with the costume. "If we're following the script, I eventually get to kill you."
Kira yawned, leaning on the railing. "Sure you will. Any last words?"
"Kill yourself and die."
"No. I am your father!"
Kira started laughing and walked away from the edge, a drink in their hand. The lights shut off, and I felt the metal underneath me give way.
If I've done nothing else, I want you all to know. Bottomless pits in hell...they aren't really bottomless.
