Serious things you just can't take seriously

Parasondox

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Jun 15, 2013
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The Devil.

Sorry, that's to my over religious family members and those who are too tooooooo religious. It's not the Devil that caused you to do something stupid, dumb and illegal. He didn't make you beat your wife and kids. He didn't take your mind over to do something disgusting, hideous things. No, that's all you. You caused it. You created the problem. YOU HURT PEOPLE YOU SELFISH FUCK!!! So put the blame on yourself.
 

IamLEAM1983

Neloth's got swag.
Aug 22, 2011
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Eddie the head said:
I tend to shake my head when I hear anyone taking Metal groups or subgenres seriously. There's always been slip-ups or cases of a few musicians going off their rocker (see Varg Vikrenes and his church-burning spree for an example), but you'd have to pay me a fortune to consider that George Fisher is serious while he's screaming about Z-grade Gore Flick clich?s. I'm a big Cradle of Filth fan, and know pretty well that once the Byronic keyboard solos and death growls are taken out of the picture, you're left with a bunch of friendly Brits that just happen to have a huge fanboy crush on Doug Bradley of Hellraiser fame. :D

As to what I can't personally take seriously, I'd have to say Concern Trolls are up there.

See, friends of mine are into fanfics. I'm more of a novella writer, myself. Nothing published as of yet, but I'm working on it. Lots of fanfic writers like to follow specific guidelines to avoid offending people. "Your kink is not my kink", "ship and let it sail" and other such axioms. As for me, I understand that good stories need opposing forces. You're going to want to figure out how to write convincing jerks or assholes at some point in your career.

In other words, I have to figure out how to portray someone who may or may not be a misogynist, a sexist, an abelist or anyone who could disparage on non-heteronormative folks, in whatever shape or form they might take. It's an author's job to explore stuff that's dicey or difficult to tackle, because it makes the medium progress and allows for deeper insight into those very same problematic things.

But not according to some concern trolls online, unfortunately. Ever since the PC Police seriously took off on Tumblr, I've been seeing kids attack writers verbally for even daring to include transphobic, cissexist or, heck, whatever other kind of antagonistic behavior you could imagine, in their works.

"Take it out, it's disgusting!" they say, which maks me roll my eyes. It's SUPPOSED to be disgusting, and you're INTENDED to react to it. If literature is supposed to find content in everyday life, isn't it natural to want to use these reprehensive attitudes to better a narrative, if and when it's suitable?

There's a clique of youngsters who seem to think we shouldn't be allowed to explore difficult content for fear of offending anyone. Don't talk about triggers, don't talk about dicey social issues, don't even dare to look at them, because doing so is disparaging them!

I sometimes want to single out one of these moral crusaders on some blogging platform and just point out that there's a specific political term for people who want to censor anything that's remotely problematic out of so-called concerns of moral decency.

That term is "fascist".
 

mrdude2010

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Aug 6, 2009
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The Tea Party.
I know they have a large amount of influence, any time they say anything about politics, I can't hel[ but laugh. I'm not even particularly Liberal.


Also, Climate Change deniers, 9/11 truthers, moon landing truthers.
 

Something Amyss

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sageoftruth said:
Same here. I've been a metalhead for at least 10 years, but the older I get, the more I start to laugh at any band's attempts to be edgy. Doesn't mean I can't still enjoy it though. I just enjoy it more for its cheese-factor than I used to. Power metal already prepared me for that. It gets even better when you go to an international metal event and find out just how much of a facade the whole "edgy" thing really is among the fandom. Many of them turn out to be pretty polite when they're not acting edgy in the crowds.

My favorite case was when I saw the Canadian Thrash Band, Annihilator. Their songs were all themed around edginess, any yet when the songs ended, they went full-Canadian and said, "Okay, that's all. I hope you guys enjoyed our music. Have a nice day, now."
Well, I mean, they're Canadian. They have to, or the government will...well, politely ask them to.

As an adult, I've come to appreciate absurdity quite a bit. I can still enjoy absurd things--hell, I have multiple Power Rangers songs in my main playlist--and sometimes it's even because they're absurd. Actually, I'm always amazed how serious people take a lot of things that are my "fun" things.
 

mrdude2010

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BloatedGuppy said:
mrdude2010 said:
Also, Climate Change deniers, 9/11 truthers, moon landing truthers.
Sounds like we have a truther truther on our hands!
I have a hard time believing the government is competent enough to pull these things off.
 

Lightspeaker

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Dec 31, 2011
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ambitiousmould said:
Johnny Novgorod said:
What peril? They're famously supposed to stand still no matter the mockery. Not that I would be one of those assholes who films himself while trying to make the guard lose his composure.
Although this might be the case for the Beefeaters (properly called The Yeomen Warders), I've seen people get confused between them and the Queen's Guard, and they most certainly don't have to still. They are allowed to shout and aim a bayoneted SA80 at people messing with them.
Relevant:

Yeah, its generally a bad idea to mess with soldiers on-duty as the Queen's Guard. For some reason people think they're just there as a tourist attraction. Despite the pompous outfits they're active members of the British Army and fully armed on guard duty in a difficult and dangerous environment being surrounded by crowds.

I blame movies featuring scenes of people messing with them giving tourists the wrong idea.
 

Zipa

batlh bIHeghjaj.
Dec 19, 2010
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Xsjadoblayde said:
Dizchu said:
8 and 9-string guitars. Well, most of the time. You see these guys trying to look tough as hell with these ironing boards with strings on them and then when it comes time for them to play some chunky riffs, all they do is chug away on the lowest string.

Also most technical death metal, especially if they have pretentious "cosmic" lyrics and mastering that brickwalls the music to death. Yeah you can sweep pick and play in 15/16, so what?
Yes, that is a weird dick-measuring technique for insecure musicians. Which is silly in all forms as once you've heard one, you've heard them all and it just becomes senseless noise after that. Also bands that are more obsessed with their clothes/style than their actual fucking music. What prancing dolls they are.

OT: People that get very defensive over any mention of gun control. It's like a child who thinks someone is trying to take away their favourite toy, when really it's more like making sure no angry child gets to throw the toys at the other kids or adults.
Um, my failing to keep relatively sane, it's difficult to not use humour as a coping mechanism really.
Lastly, politicians and their "doublespeak." Which is a term i find far too generous as their speak is closer to "no-speak." Luckily we have a current politician gaining popularity because he actually cares for his fellow human and treats them like humans. So when we get to hear the opposing politicians start speaking again, it highlights how utterly robotic and senseless they are. Also how little they know of their own country. *Sigh* It's gonna be a long 4 years.
Personally I love Bill Bailey's ultimate piss take of this with his 6 necked guitar. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U_pU_0G-qc8]
 
Sep 13, 2009
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THM said:
I am physically incapable of agreeing with you any more than I already do. I mean, Christ - computers have OFF SWITCHES, people. USE THEM. Or block the trolls, or - and here's an idea - don't put every single fucking thing about your life online. It is not the end of the world if you're not constantly validated on social media.
It's a great thing that kids all have plenty of life experience to draw upon to inform them on what can happen if they don't spend their life being totally anonymous online, as well as how to be totally anonymous online.

As Lilani said, cyberbullying isn't something that only happens online. It's usually an extension of something that's happening to you offline, just in a place where the people doing it don't have to worry about repercussions, probably in no small part due to the crowd who thinks that targets of cyberbullying should just grow a pair.

As Lilani also said, if you cut yourself off from all social media you have no way to defend yourself, because cyberbullying isn't always people saying cruel things to you specifically, it can also be people broadcasting malicious rumors. No matter how many times you shut off your computer those rumors are still going to be there when you go to school the next day.

This post can pretty much be summarized as "Read Lilani's post"
 

sageoftruth

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Something Amyss said:
sageoftruth said:
Same here. I've been a metalhead for at least 10 years, but the older I get, the more I start to laugh at any band's attempts to be edgy. Doesn't mean I can't still enjoy it though. I just enjoy it more for its cheese-factor than I used to. Power metal already prepared me for that. It gets even better when you go to an international metal event and find out just how much of a facade the whole "edgy" thing really is among the fandom. Many of them turn out to be pretty polite when they're not acting edgy in the crowds.

My favorite case was when I saw the Canadian Thrash Band, Annihilator. Their songs were all themed around edginess, any yet when the songs ended, they went full-Canadian and said, "Okay, that's all. I hope you guys enjoyed our music. Have a nice day, now."
Well, I mean, they're Canadian. They have to, or the government will...well, politely ask them to.

As an adult, I've come to appreciate absurdity quite a bit. I can still enjoy absurd things--hell, I have multiple Power Rangers songs in my main playlist--and sometimes it's even because they're absurd. Actually, I'm always amazed how serious people take a lot of things that are my "fun" things.
Hell yeah. Absurdity rocks.


Cheers to the metal band that managed to do this with a straight face.
 

GrumbleGrump

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The Missiouri university protests. To me they all look and sound like a bunch of entitled children in adult bodies.
Slacktivism in general. People seem to take it seriously, although it's pretty much useless.
Postmodernism.

Cowabungaa said:
If we're going on a roll with those, what about the Greek honour guards then:



Guys, what's with the shoe-pompoms? I mean, really?
OMG

WHO THOUGHT OF THESE ARE YOU SERIOUS
 

Zen Bard

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Sep 16, 2012
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Dizchu said:
8 and 9-string guitars. Well, most of the time. You see these guys trying to look tough as hell with these ironing boards with strings on them and then when it comes time for them to play some chunky riffs, all they do is chug away on the lowest string.
Perhaps if you heard someone who could actually play one:


 

Dizchu

...brutal
Sep 23, 2014
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Zen Bard said:
Perhaps if you heard someone who could actually play one:
I've heard plenty of people that can play 8 and 9 string guitars (personally, I stick to 7).

But there are so many guitarists that literally chug the lowest string for entire albums that whenever someone is described as playing one I just brace for the worst.
 

Zen Bard

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Sep 16, 2012
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Dizchu said:
Zen Bard said:
Perhaps if you heard someone who could actually play one:
I've heard plenty of people that can play 8 and 9 string guitars (personally, I stick to 7).

But there are so many guitarists that literally chug the lowest string for entire albums that whenever someone is described as playing one I just brace for the worst.
On that point I agree with you. And a lot of them don't even need the extra two or three strings. They just detune the whole damn thing to "drop C" and crank up the distortion until it just sounds a series of fuzzy clicks.

What a waste of a perfectly good instrument.
 

TheMysteriousGX

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Ethics in video game journalism. I grew up on Nintendo Power. The idea of video game journalists being something besides paid shills and/or super-fans is ludicrous. Might as well try to tell me that unicorns are real.

SJWs. This nebulous, vaguely defined group is somehow both useless nobodies everybody laughs at because they can't handle the real world, or omnipresent Illuminati that have the ear of governments and multi-national corporations alike. The narrative shifts so often it feels like those are the only two options on a Wheel of Fortune spinner.

Zombies. My third mythological example. Does anybody actually think that if zombies started existing, there would be some sort of world-wide breakdown of society? Barring zombie hoards that act like a liquid, of course. But the slow, dumb The Walking Dead style zombie?
 

Parasondox

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altnameJag said:
Zombies. My third mythological example. Does anybody actually think that if zombies started existing, there would be some sort of world-wide breakdown of society? Barring zombie hoards that act like a liquid, of course. But the slow, dumb The Walking Dead style zombie?
The Walking Dead zombies are a bit of a joke. Slow as fuck. Now, World War Z zombies, FUCK. THAT!! Fast running/acting mother fuckers.. unless you are carrying a cold. You will be fine that way. Picky Zombie pricks. Don't want sick brains, or sick carriers with brains, they want the healthy ones. Bet they want gluten free brains too the bastards!!
 

TheMysteriousGX

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Parasondox said:
altnameJag said:
Zombies. My third mythological example. Does anybody actually think that if zombies started existing, there would be some sort of world-wide breakdown of society? Barring zombie hoards that act like a liquid, of course. But the slow, dumb The Walking Dead style zombie?
The Walking Dead zombies are a bit of a joke. Slow as fuck. Now, World War Z zombies, FUCK. THAT!! Fast running/acting mother fuckers.. unless you are carrying a cold. You will be fine that way. Picky Zombie pricks. Don't want sick brains, or sick carriers with brains, they want the healthy ones. Bet they want gluten free brains too the bastards!!
Seriously. They even spared the guy with the limp. At that rate, just cut off everybody's pinky toe and you should be safe.

I did like Brad Pitt's role as the supreme harbinger of death though. That was pretty entertaining.