Sex

[Burck]

I'll cut the basics and skip to something I've been thinking about recently.

Typical porn bores me now. Perhaps its partially the formulaic progression, but I feel that its because all too often its just the man asserting a dominant role. Yes, I know this is typically divulged through cliche "sex dialogue" and perhaps shouldn't be taken seriously, but why does it persist?

Its not even the dominance of the man that bothers me really: its just the lack of balance between the two participants... it just feels... selfish.

For me, sex is a reciprocal/symbiotic act. Pleasure for pleasure. Sensation for sensation. If sex is ever one-sided, it becomes well... its still sex, but its different. I suppose reciprocal sex is fueled by love and lust while selfish sex is just lust. Maybe some people are alright with that, but I don't find it quite as compelling.

Oh, and I hate America's stigma on virginity. It's degrading, and creates insecurities

 

[AgDr_ODST]

I learned about both the opposite sex and sexual intercourse from browsing the internet and finding pictures of naked women and free online porn sites...Though later on after that my parents tried to impress upon me the idea that its a very special and intimate act to be shared only between a man and a woman who have married. And they kinda succeded, I like watching porn but I intend to wait and marry before i have sex my self

 

[Legion IV]

Sex is a sacred act to be shared between to people and only between those people and preferebly only if they planned to get married. Anyone who thinks diffrently i can ussualy thank cause then i know who to aviod in life.

I think that's a bad reason to avoid people. I mean how often are you going to talk about sex with them?

Look am not gonna hate them or shun them. I still act nice to everbody regardless.I am driven by my own set of morales and codes. When someone goes against any of them espiccialy the big ones i tend to aviod them unless there like a friend of 10 years. I just find it disgusting that people think of sex as just an act and somthing thats a naturaul step in any! replationship.

Met a girl once. she said she dosent really like hercurrent bf but hes great in bed so she'll keep him around a bit. Disgusting.

Sex is not a nessicary thing in life and should only be shared with your husband and or wife.

 

[Marik2]

I learned about both the opposite sex and sexual intercourse from browsing the internet and finding pictures of naked women and free online porn sites...Though later on after that my parents tried to impress upon me the idea that its a very special and intimate act to be shared only between a man and a woman who have married. And they kinda succeded, I like watching porn but I intend to wait and marry before i have sex my self

...Well you learn something new everyday

 

[Shapsters]

Sex is like money. Loads of it about, but I never seem to get any.

Ahah hah.

Well played sir, well played.

I know nothing about sex due to my lack of experience, I think the less you have sex the more fantastic the idea becomes. However it seems when you become a little more practiced its less of a "OMG SEXORz" thing and more of an intimate time between two people. Unless you're sleeping around... then it's just bumping ugly I suppose...

 

[Hap2]

Sex is just procreation to me, and pleasure to others, those are my beliefs on it.

I'm asexual (not sexually attracted to anyone), so beyond fascination and curiousity, it really is not important to me at all beyond study.

 

[Julianking93]

I think I've made my stance on sexual relations and sex itself pretty clear on this site before, but for those of you who don't know, I suppose I can be considered a bit of a prude. In a personal sense, I don't want sex unless it's with a person whom I love. Any other type of sexual relation is completely meaningless to me. I feel that sex is best when you're in love. The idea of sleeping around to me honestly makes me sick. I don't like that idea and can't ever imagine myself doing it.

However, I don't feel the need to degrade people or belittle them for opposing beliefs. If someone feels differently about sex, I may disagree with it, but unless it's directly affecting me, I don't really care, in all honesty.

It's a lot like my views on religion and the like. I don't care really if you disagree with me unless you confront me or if your beliefs end up affecting me in a negative way. While I'm not religious in any way myself, I personally would want a monogamist relationship with someone I love who loves me back.

I understand that in nature, monogamy is rarely ever found. It goes against a lot of basic natural urges and desires for many people. That being said, I know what works best for me and I stick by it no matter what any right wing fuckhead wants to tell me or what many polygamists might say to me. The one and only type of relationship seems to work best for me.

Oh and as for where I learned about sex... nowhere, really. I study sociology and psychology so many of my sexual preferences and ideals come from my studies and from observing those in different relationships in my own way. That might be an extremely nerdy way of looking at things, but it's how I was raised. My parents never even mentioned sex in our household, so I kinda had to discover it for myself.

I'll cut the basics and skip to something I've been thinking about recently.

Typical porn bores me now. Perhaps its partially the formulaic progression, but I feel that its because all too often its just the man asserting a dominant role. Yes, I know this is typically divulged through cliche "sex dialogue" and perhaps shouldn't be taken seriously, but why does it persist?

Its not even the dominance of the man that bothers me really: its just the lack of balance between the two participants... it just feels... selfish.

For me, sex is a reciprocal/symbiotic act. Pleasure for pleasure. Sensation for sensation. If sex is ever one-sided, it becomes well... its still sex, but its different. I suppose reciprocal sex is fueled by love and lust while selfish sex is just lust. Maybe some people are alright with that, but I don't find it quite as compelling.

Oh, and I hate America's stigma on virginity. It's degrading, and creates insecurities

I have to say that I completely agree with you here on almost every front right down to the personal feelings regarding pornography. That overly dominate male figure... honestly disturbs me in a lot of ways and makes me quite uncomfortable. I would describe it as being extremely selfish in the relationship. Some might say "Oh it's just porn" but... lots of people think that it's real and that that's how relationships are supposed to be and they go by that as if it's a manual.

 

[Sarahcidal]

As a girl with 4 sisters who ALL got knocked up in high school, i developed a strong belief on the subject.
the thought of sleeping around with as many people as possible makes me sick to my stomach.
While I don't feel someone should have to wait for marriage, I do feel you should be in love.
Not puppy love. Trusting, respectful, thoughtful "i could marry this man/woman one day" kind of love. I feel most people should be at least 17 or at least be mature enough to handle issues like babies, stds, cheating etc.. (I was 18, i am now 26 and have only slept with one man... he is now my husband)
I had to deal with all of my high school boyfriends cheating on me simply because they got sick of me "not putting out" but I stood by my beliefs. if he can't wait, hes not worth my time. no one should feel obligated to have sex before they feel ready. I felt that because there was NO WAY i was getting pregnant in high school and becoming a "mommy", then i felt logically i wasn't mature enough to start having sex.
to this day, litterally any time a woman my age or older hears that i have ONLY slept with my husband, they tell me that it's impressive and they wish they had done the same.. quickly followed by "dont you wish you could sleep with someone else?? how do you know it's any good??"
this annoys me greatly. i KNOW it's good because i "get where i need to go" EVERY time. he ensures it lol.. and why sleep around? isnt the point of sleeping around to try new things? well if i found someone i care about enough to stick with him and he's willing to try new things all the time, that's enough for me.
..and TRY NEW THINGS! I cannot stress this enough! you need to try absolutely everything at least once.. if you decide you hate it, at least you can say you tried it. you'll be surprised by the new things you'll REALLY enjoy. (hell i taught my husband MANY things and he's 10 years older than i am.. he was with prudes before me i guess lol)

EDIT: jesus this is much longer than i thought it was lol..meh, you asked for a lengthy response i guess

 

[AgDr_ODST]

I learned about both the opposite sex and sexual intercourse from browsing the internet and finding pictures of naked women and free online porn sites...Though later on after that my parents tried to impress upon me the idea that its a very special and intimate act to be shared only between a man and a woman who have married. And they kinda succeded, I like watching porn but I intend to wait and marry before i have sex my self

...Well you learn something new everyday

yes but that doesn't mean Im glad to have learned that way...I'd take it back if I could.And that includes the porn watching too

 

[Csae]

Its an evil thing, and most womens will use it to control you at some point sooner or later in the relationship.

But it feels damn good.

I learned this from my exs.

 

[AdmiralMemo]

I'm 28 and still a virgin. I believe in waiting for marriage.

(My beliefs are my beliefs, and you can do what you want. In everything that I believe is wrong and you may not, I say this: if you're not hurting anyone, then any problems that may exist are between you and God, and it's not my concern, because there's really no way I could stop you from doing what you want to do.)

Also, I believe sex is highly over-rated. It's all about endorphins in your brain, and you can get those other ways, too.

 

[saintchristopher]

I'm far too late to this thread for anyone to still be reading posts, but here's the real truth about sex.

It's not "for" procreation. Not anymore. It's technically not even the only way to procreate these days. So that argument is archaic, and in my opinion, invalidated.

It's not meant to be had with only one person. Limiting yourself to a single partner will not make it special. It will make it boring. There's an extremely real chance you will be completely incompatible with your one and only partner. And besides, you need to be with enough people that you can learn the difference between having sex and making love. There IS a difference.

No, sex is about a moment. A moment in which two people, in spite of their best efforts, are completely honest with each other. Naked, exhausted, and exhilarated, there is no hiding yourself in that moment.

 

[burningdragoon]

I find myself more on the "wait for love yada yada yada" side of things and w/e, but this:

although I am admittedly tremendously conservative, I've found that sex is honestly what you make of it. Can it be something animalistic and "solely for pleasure"? Yes. Can it be a deeply emotional (some would say spiritual) connection where both participants transcend to a higher plane of reality? Yes. Is it better when you're doing it with someone you care for and love and dedicate yourself to fully? Yes. Is it better when you remain monogamous and truly stay faithful to your partner? Yes. Is it better when you find your name on a plaque in your frat house for winning the "Fuck most chics in a night" contest? Yes. Sex is goofy, it's sensual, it's a given freedom, it's powerful, and utterly meaningless. For every reason a psychologist/scientist can give for having sex for a biological and evolutionary reason, there seems to be another reason that science can't explain. The point is that sex is deeply personal. Someone saying that everyone who thinks sex is more than "Animalistic instincts" and faults them for the thought it has deeper meaning is just as wrong as someone who condemns others to hell for not waiting till marriage. The best way to think of sex is that it's the most sincere reflection of your inner self. You're valnerable, your empowered - sex is it's own contradiction. The biggest key in sex is to follow your heart; if it feels right, don't hesitate - if it feels wrong, stay away.

Man, I gotta say I really like this answer. It's about what I would say, but better put.

It's also alot like pizza. When its good, its REALLY good, when its bad, its still pretty good.

This one is good too hehe.

 

[katsumoto03]

Sex is like money. Loads of it about, but I never seem to get any.

That was nicely put.

OT: Sex is a natural act. [HEADING=1]Nature does it so it's fucking awesome.[/HEADING]

 

[brunothepig]

Sex is fun. It's perfectly natural (I hate that phrase, don't know why)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Naturalistic_fallacy
Scratch that. This is the one you want.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Appeal_to_nature

There you go. Now your intuition is accompanied by a name and reason.

I think that might be it... Thankyou. Yes, natural fallacy didn't seem to fit. Appeal to nature, that's it. Why is it being natural automatically a free pass? My position on sex is unchanged lol.

 

[Durgiun]

My beliefs about sex: as long as it's consentual you have no right to stop it from happening. Some people would disagree, and those people need to get laid.

So a twelve year old and a twenty five year old are A-okay in your book?

OK, guess I should have phrased that a little better. As long as it's consentual and with someone who's at least in their late teens, it's alright to have sex.

 

[samaugsch]

"Cake" is the Mushroom Kingdom word for "sex" (I'm not even going to bother to say where that's referenced from)

 

[GeorgW]

I learned about sex from TV and teh internetz. It never even came up in school or my family, and I'm glad it didn't. I think sex has the best PR ever. That's pretty much it. People think waay too much about it, and have it waaaaay too rarely. I like the idea of only having sex with someone that you are in a relationship with, that's what I do, but then again, I'm 17. But if you just want to have sex, try going up to someone random in a bar and simply ask if they wanna f*ck. A lot of people are there for the same reason you are Don't ask me how I know that...

 

[TheRightToArmBears]

And I can't fathom the 'save it until marriage' mindset. Sex won't kill anyone, why would you force yourself to miss out on one of the joys in life for no apparent reason?

There are a number of AIDS patients who might differ with you on that.

EDIT: Your argument also assumes that sex is best enjoyed outside of marriage. I'm arguing that it's the opposite: that sex is designed to be at its best and most fulfilling within marriage, so engaging in sex outside of marriage is actually indulging in a lesser version. Also, bear in mind that I'm arguing potentials, here - it's not always going to be fantastic in a marriage, and extramarital sex can be very exciting, but in the long run, you're cheating yourself out of something better.

A) As I said, using a condom. You almost certaintly won't get AIDS (AIDS? Really? How many people do you know have AIDS?)

B) "Your argument also assumes that sex is best enjoyed outside of marriage"- No it doesn't. It implies that you're not letting yourself do something fun for possibly ever for no reason. Sex is neither better or worse inside or outside of marriage (or at least there's minimal difference), it mostly depends on who you're doing it with and how good at it they are.

 

[Gralian]

I'm far too late to this thread for anyone to still be reading posts, but here's the real truth about sex.

It's not "for" procreation. Not anymore. It's technically not even the only way to procreate these days. So that argument is archaic, and in my opinion, invalidated.

It's not meant to be had with only one person. Limiting yourself to a single partner will not make it special. It will make it boring. There's an extremely real chance you will be completely incompatible with your one and only partner. And besides, you need to be with enough people that you can learn the difference between having sex and making love. There IS a difference.

No, sex is about a moment. A moment in which two people, in spite of their best efforts, are completely honest with each other. Naked, exhausted, and exhilarated, there is no hiding yourself in that moment.

That... was so poetic. I think i'm about to cry manly tears of awesome.

Anyway, for me, i'm not really so interested in the "sex for the animal desire / action" bit. Really, i'm only interested in real lovemaking. Sex with someone you care little about or do not know? I'd rather rub one out in five minutes flat and be done with it. Honestly, i'm just not interested nor bothered enough to go through all the effort of having to pick someone up just for the sake of having "the real thing".

Sex with someone you love, or even just care deeply for, however, is something very special and something that i hope to strive for - and that's all i really want from it.

I've had friends tell me they can't even define love. Sure they get a lot of sex, but they've never had any of the emotional bits in it and it's just this hollow experience where they try to hump anything with a pulse that has boobs. Honestly, i do pity them, in a way. Although maybe they pity me for not living their playboy lifestyle. I guess it's just a matter of opinion and choice.