Sexual Experiences you've always wanted to try

[SonicWaffle]

I'd like to try sex without the fear of my kids walking in.

I remember what it used to be like ... It was good.

Now it's "quick or they will wake up" ... not so good.

Sedatives are your friend. Or locks, locking the bedroom door might be slightly more socially acceptable than drugging your kids.

 

[SonicWaffle]

second step would be, you know I always wanted to have sex with a Muslim girl, I don't know why as I am a atheist and have never been to fond of religion, yet I always wanted to do it with a Muslim girl.

might have something to do with the skin colour.

I'm going to get pedantic up in this *****;

Skin colour and religion are not linked. If it's the skin colour that attracts you, you don't need them to believe certain things, you just need to find a person who has brown skin and is totally willing to do the nasty

Of course, if for some odd reason it's the idea that you're fucking someone who has Islamic beliefs, they come in every colour so you can pick your favourite flavour!

 

[BringBackBuck]

This is when you give up in the shower and do it on the floor in the bathroom. At this point you realise the tiles are cold and wet and you are freezing from having just been in the shower and you have bad knees, so you dry off and head to the bedroom at which point your wife decides the moment is lost which frustrates you since you've already had a shower and therefore conceded any opportunity for rubbing one out and anyway the kids are awake now so it looks like no sex for you for the foreseeable future.

You sound bitter enough that I'm fully prepared to believe you're posting this while wrapped in a towel, still half-wet, and looking seriously pissed off

Yeah that was pretty much me at 7:30 this morning. The odd thing is that I've been with my wife for many years and have never successfully managed sex in the shower, yet for some reason I keep persisting in the vain hope she has grown 6 inches taller overnight and somehow we will have magnificent shower sex.
As Rawne says in the post above mine: when you've got kids you need to make the most of brief opportunities.

 

[SonicWaffle]

Seriouly though, is a hight diference a problem in a shower situation?

Nowhere near as big a problem as slippery floors. If having shower sex, ensure you put one of those mats down with the grip on them, otherwise you're going to fall over mid-coitus and that is just plain unsexy. Not to mention painful

Oh....I'd not thought of that aspect of it. Mid-coitus falls sound super unsexy, (personal note: Only have sex on a surface you won't slip on)

This is always a problem when having sex standing, unless she's bending over. It's just impractical, and you run the risk of dropping her or both of you overbalancing and falling over. My nurse friends have regaled me with stories of sex-related injuries they've seen, and a surprising amount aren't filthy or ridiculous - it's just that people tend to lose their balance a lot and fall over.

I know of an escapist who tried to have sex while driving a car.

Well that's a pretty fucking stupid idea. If we don't allow people to drive while using a phone because it's "too distracting", a pair of tits bouncing in your face is just begging for a car crash.

 

[freaper]

I'd like to point out that the ones who answered first are also the ones didn't join the club yet, just tossing that out there.

OT: OP, I don't think this is the crowd you're looking for.
Anyway, any would be good enough for me.

 

[SonicWaffle]

This is when you give up in the shower and do it on the floor in the bathroom. At this point you realise the tiles are cold and wet and you are freezing from having just been in the shower and you have bad knees, so you dry off and head to the bedroom at which point your wife decides the moment is lost which frustrates you since you've already had a shower and therefore conceded any opportunity for rubbing one out and anyway the kids are awake now so it looks like no sex for you for the foreseeable future.

You sound bitter enough that I'm fully prepared to believe you're posting this while wrapped in a towel, still half-wet, and looking seriously pissed off

Yeah that was pretty much me at 7:30 this morning.

You tried to have sex at half past seven? In the morning?!

Fucking hell, man. Even opening my eyes at that time is exhausting, and generally takes me about half an hour to do successfully. How do you have the energy for shagging?

 

[DefunctTheory]

Hmm... because I'm bored...

Spoiler

umm, threesomes? Everyone fantasizes about that, right?

In my experience, threesomes are not worth the effort (And it is more effort). If you feel the need, however, I suggest attempting this one when not in a serious relationship. That shit can get weird.

Ah yes, I can see how that might be a problem.

Let's just say, I'm more compatible than most XD

Are you backwards compatible?

I'll be here all week.

Got a laugh out of me. Good one

OT: Older Woman/Cougars/Milfs. I just find older woman incredibly attractive. Always has been a fantasy of mine.

You haven't lived until you've had sexual relations with an older lady who knows what she's doing. Best sex I've ever had.

This thread is awesome *thumbs up*

*looks at OP's post count*

of course.

Anyway, I've always wanted to be dominated sexually, and as a guy that's kinda difficult to come across.

One of my favorites.

If what you really want is something penetrating your ass and a blowjob, are you sure you aren't gay?

That narrow and incorrect thinking that has no place but high school and the Infantry.

Sex on a trampoline, girl on top. The ultimate ride. If I had a girlfriend I'd be doing it right now.

I've done something similar. Be careful - trampolines recycle quite a bit for force then some people realize. Disconnections and incorrect reconnections may occur.

Well sex for a start, but I am no longer forever alone as of two days ago. So maybe that is in the horison. Assuming it happens, I do like being scratched and bitten when entertaining a woman.

looking at your changed avatar, looks like your forever alone problem was solved by a kitten.
too dark?

I don't know man, I've not seen her's yet

There's a bad meme to be thrown in here, but as I like my place here I will only say it concerns the idea of 'a cat being appropriate in lieu of the current circumstances...' or something of that degree.

OT: This thread is going places, I sometimes wonder if late-night admins make new profiles to do stuff like this just for kicks, but that theory is for another time. I always thought 'love in the shower' was a neat idea, but to this crowd it probably sounds a bit too innocent, eh?

edit: aww hell, a couple posts above me... 60s spiderman, I like where this is going.

In my experience, sex in a shower is a dangerous proposition. Make sure you can get proper traction first, and make sure your positioning is stable and comfortable (Height is indeed an issue). Remember - Most sex mistakes wont ruin a relationship. Losing your balance in a shower sex act and going head first into a toilet may do the trick though (And yes, I DO know this as a fact).

well I am still a virgin so getting that away would be the first step.

second step would be, you know I always wanted to have sex with a Muslim girl, I don't know why as I am a atheist and have never been to fond of religion, yet I always wanted to do it with a Muslim girl.

Muslin isn't a skin color.

Personal Answer: I've been around. I've hit most of the sexual barriers (And broken a few more).

In any case, I'd just like to have sex again without being in pain for a week afterwards. Fat chance, though.
might have something to do with the skin colour.[/quote]

 

[Evil Smurf]

Seriouly though, is a hight diference a problem in a shower situation?

Nowhere near as big a problem as slippery floors. If having shower sex, ensure you put one of those mats down with the grip on them, otherwise you're going to fall over mid-coitus and that is just plain unsexy. Not to mention painful

In my experience height difference is a problem in any standing option. My wife is about 5'4" and I'm about 6'0". Any sort of standing position is tough to make work.
You could try to get her into some serious high heels. Not particularly good for shower sex though, so option 2 is you have her facing you, wrap her legs around you and you support her weight with your hands on her behind with her upper back against the wall. Slippery walls and floors in the shower make this a tough manoeuvre to execute.

This is when you give up in the shower and do it on the floor in the bathroom. At this point you realise the tiles are cold and wet and you are freezing from having just been in the shower and you have bad knees, so you dry off and head to the bedroom at which point your wife decides the moment is lost which frustrates you since you've already had a shower and therefore conceded any opportunity for rubbing one out and anyway the kids are awake now so it looks like no sex for you for the foreseeable future.

I'm about a head taller then her, so either stripper heels or a bed

 

[6_Qubed]

First world problems?: your penis is too big.

Maybe you're being a little bit insensitive, but I'm sure your friend isn't losing any sleep over it. I wouldn't. Especially if I had my enormous dong to keep me cheerful.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HpY3ggKAPIE

He must sing this all the time

That song came to mind when I read that, too. Glad to know I'm not the only weird fucker in this thread.

OT: Since I'm noticing a surprising number of virgins in this thread (I had assumed my fellow Escapists were a motley gaggle of Sexy People Who Have Sex) I offer two chestnuts (HA!) of personal experience; First, that your first time is probably going to suck. We're talking 90-95% chance of sucking. Not a guarantee, just don't get your hopes up. Second, oral sex is a lot like filesharing; to receive is always nice, but to give is nicer still. Nobody likes a leecher (which in this instance means they bite your junk/cooch while going down on you).

OT (for realz this time): I saw somebody say "getting dominated", but no specifics. My thing I'd like to try? Edging. More technically known as "orgasm denial", it is a specific form of domination where they put you on the edge and keep you there for as long as they can. Now, obviously this is sort of tricky, as it requires your partner to have enough familiarity with you and your behavioral quirks to know how far is too far to push you, but from what I hear, the results are positively mind-shattering.

Another fun thing to try would be public domination. Not like whips and leather where everyone can see it, but subtle stuff. Sneaky stuff. No panties and an egg vibrator taped in place. Long sleeved coat and hands cuffed behind the back. Knee-length skirt with the knees tied together, and all of it while grocery shopping! With a bit of imagination, you can have a lot of fun.

 

[Pieturli]

First world problems?: your penis is too big.

I have a friend who actually does consider that a problem. He gets really sensitive about it, and considers it horrendously embarrassing to have to ask for extra-large condoms when he's at the shops.

Fuckin' weird.

Actually, I remeber reading a survey about what causes problems in bed for women, and "too big" placed second, while "too small" was like 12th. It makes perfect sense I think, I mean I could imagine that it would be quite painful for a woman. Even I've had trouble "fitting" sometimes and I'm really not that big.

He doesn't seem to have any hang-ups about that part of it, though. I've known a few of his girlfriends over the years and never heard any complaints (even though, he being terribly annoying as a person, they complain about every other aspect of him ), his issue is the idea that people might know he has a large dick.

For some reason he's really shy about it. I just don't get it. If it isn't causing problems sexually, why is it a problem for other people to be aware he needs larger-than-usual condoms?

Wow that is a bit strange. I guess some people have weird insecurities. Shit that they see but no one else does.

Figuratively.

 

[felbot]

second step would be, you know I always wanted to have sex with a Muslim girl, I don't know why as I am a atheist and have never been to fond of religion, yet I always wanted to do it with a Muslim girl.

might have something to do with the skin colour.

I'm going to get pedantic up in this *****;

Skin colour and religion are not linked. If it's the skin colour that attracts you, you don't need them to believe certain things, you just need to find a person who has brown skin and is totally willing to do the nasty

Of course, if for some odd reason it's the idea that you're fucking someone who has Islamic beliefs, they come in every colour so you can pick your favourite flavour!

yeah i know, I am actually surprised you thought I didn't, hell ill do any religion, could be fun.

 

[Evil Smurf]

I know of an escapist who tried to have sex while driving a car.

Well that's a pretty fucking stupid idea. If we don't allow people to drive while using a phone because it's "too distracting", a pair of tits bouncing in your face is just begging for a car crash.

You could tell Aylaine that yourself

 

[RJ 17]

umm, threesomes? Everyone fantasizes about that, right?

sounds like too much work....

But if there's three of you, you only have to do one third of the work.

If you have sex with a clone of yourself...is that homosexual or masturbation? :3

And since this topic amazingly hasn't been locked down, I'll say that there's a girl I know currently living in Spain that I would kill someone in front of their own mother for a chance to be with.

 

[Zack Alklazaris]

I've always wanted to be strapped down and whipped across the feet by a masked stranger and then have icing sugar sprinkled across my nipples whilst I make aeroplane noises - followed by intercourse in a bathtub filled with orange juice.

Me too! Small world...

----

umm, threesomes? Everyone fantasizes about that, right?

sounds like too much work....

But if there's three of you, you only have to do one third of the work.

If you have sex with a clone of yourself...is that homosexual or masturbation? :3

Well since your having sex I guess it would be homosexual, but it is with yourself so I guess you could call it just a case of extreme narcissism.

--------------

I go by the philosophy of I'll try anything once. So yeah, everything I want to do everything... except poop sex.

 

[AngloDoom]

Now that I'm single again, I'd certainly like to try a threesome. Other than that though, I can't really think of anything I haven't tried that I've wanted to...

Oh gods, have I lived a good life or am I just becoming boring?

 

[Loethlin]

Cumming where no man has cum before...

I'm sure there's a porno that starts like that somewhere.

That'd be "This Ain't Star Trek."

Concerning shower sex...
Water is not a lubricant. Even if you'll deal with slippery floor, cold tiles, height difference and everything else that can go wrong, add to it the fact that water chafes. Same for hot tub sex, and any other body of water.

 

[shrekfan246]

Oh wow. This thread. It's going to go places. Places none of us ever wanted to actually visit.

Anyway. I've always had a bit of a thing for exhibitionism. Extrapolate further from there.

"I said my drugs would take you places. I never said they'd be places you wanted to go..."

Oh Scarecrow... you so crazy.

Hah. That's hilariously relevant to both parts of my post. Good show.

Don't do drugs, kids. (I don't, but other people who do have led to some rather... interesting occasions in the past.)

 

[Matt-Sama]

I want Natalie Portman to sit on my face.

 

[Loop Stricken]

Sexual Experiences you've always wanted to try

Yes.

... I'm so lonely...