Slender Review

[Basement Cat]

I've been waiting for the right night off to play this game. I'll be back to read everyone's comments when I've finished creeping myself out properly.

(Actually it's not all that hard to creep me out. Childhood incident. Very sad.)

 

[Dewrah]

I dare say we need a Zero Punctuation review of this game.

 

[Nurb]

How on Earth did you have the time and knowledge to write all of this for your post? Or was your post attacked by a mod?

It's a dumb little tool you can get on the internet (I've misplaced the link, though... sorry) called Zalgo or something. It's used in attempts to make itself look more "scary", but once you know the secret it's about as frightening as a damp roll of paper towel. It's kind of pretentious, actually.

Well hey, that actually sums up how I felt about Slender too! Fancy that.

I guess it's baby's first Slenderman. If you're used to the image macros, stories and especially the impeccable Marble Hornets (not so keen on the other two video series), then Slender is a huge disappointment. Just a cheap, marketable cash-in that has the unfortunate side-effect of introducing a host of rather dim people to the usually great Slenderman mythos.

Hey, the sums up your post too! You got a trifecta!

 

[PrototypeC]

That's a pretty big post just to insult me. You could have tidied it up a bit. Tsk, tsk.

In what could charitably be described as my "analysis", consider the sentence before it as well ("...used in attempts to make itself more "scary", but once you know the secret it's about as frightening as a damp roll of paper towel."). Once you realize that you can keep him still by peeking at him from behind trees, it makes getting the pages easier and that weird putty mannequin thing they call "slenderman" a joke.

The actual game, if you're desensitized to the Slenderman already, is really short and not a lot of fun. It relies on you being scared so heavily that without the scare factor it's kind of crappy. Anyone who makes it dark, puts you in a forest with nothing but a torch and sends something after you can make something scary. It doesn't help that it's relying on the otherwise very high quality Slenderman mythos to get sales for only a three hour long development game.

 

[lord.jeff]

Even during the five minutes of the review any fear I had at the beginning got replaced by annoyance at the absurdly loud footsteps and constant thumping.

 

[TheMadDoctorsCat]

I've played the game three times and died three times, each time instantly. No warning, no idea where the Slender man actually was when he "got" me. It just felt like cheap deaths. The most I've ever got was three pages, and that was on my first playthrough.

The problem I have with this is I don't know where the skill is. How are you supposed to avoid Slender if you can't see him coming? On the other hand, it's free, and hopefully the developer will learn from its points - both good and bad - and go on to bigger and better things.

 

[likalaruku]

Thanks to Littlekuriboh, I can't take the Slender Man seriously. Does he want a hug, or is he just trying to be in your movie?

Chief: "Dammint Slenderman, I told you about eatin' them kids!"
Jack Slenderman: "But it's what I dooooo."

 

[Triality]

After watching the video I don't have to pee any longer.

 

[nexus]

This game is....

.. really overrated.

Horror comes in more complex forms than something so simple. It's pretty neat, and I applaud the upstart success of fledgling developers, but all I feel about the game is "meh". I'll be interested to see where these guys go from here, though.

 

[Zing]

I know this might not completely relate, but it might provide a few laughs for people

-snip-

Holy shit I laughed way too hard at this...I need to try this. Slender party at mine?

 

[WarpZone]

"While there may be scarier games out there," Um. Name one? Amnesia? D's Diner? Resident Evil? This is pretty much as scary as the best the genre has to offer.

I realize you can't go "BEST GAME EVAR" cuz it's an indie title and AAA ad revenue is your lifeblood. But at least downplay the graphics, or the length, or the complexity of gameplay, or something else that is actually arguably one of Slender's weaknesses.

Don't downplay the one thing the game gets right!

Paranoia and Fear? Dread? Adrenaline rush? Tension?

GUESS WHAT, EACH ONE OF THOSE WORDS MEANS THE GAME WAS SCARY!

Note: Previous (I.E. censored) post edited to avoid namecalling. Thanks to the helpful staff at The Escapist for issuing a warning.

 

[Some_weirdGuy]

Anyone else find them self wanting to either join the team and model slenderman better(give him those wisp-like arms he was meant to have, and some neat particle/camera effects and stuff around the model, as well as a proper idle animation), or make their own version that is the same game just done in higher quality?

Make the sound that builds up scarier(something like the half life 2 radio music comes to mind... damn that makes me paranoid), have some better screen effects in general and improve the graphic fidelity of the game as a whole.

((on a side note, is slender an alpha/beta build of a proper game they're making or is that literally the final product?))