So Anita Sarkeesian and the ME3 ending are drowning in a whirlpool...

[Ralancian]

I'm not much of a swimmer, but I'd rescue Sarkeesian for the same reason the X-Men rescue bigots (to rub it in their faces).

...

You are one of those sexist elements in video games that Sarkeesian keeps complaining about?

Actually, if games keep improving, it's only a matter of time before the tropes start becoming self aware, I guess.

Well it would be wouldn't it? male jumps into whirlpool of doom to save the love interest when she can't possibly swim out herself.

She'd probably have to throw herself back in the whirlpool.

 

[Jesterscup]

I throw in Whitney Houstons Discography into the Whirlpool in an effort to appease the deities of watery vortexes. ( Look I've got issues ok....)

I don't trust sealions, where did he get those bear arms from?

As a Brony I know that all it takes is friendship to save the day, so both Anita and the ME3 ending get saved.

 

[Thaluikhain]

I'm not much of a swimmer, but I'd rescue Sarkeesian for the same reason the X-Men rescue bigots (to rub it in their faces).

...

You are one of those sexist elements in video games that Sarkeesian keeps complaining about?

Actually, if games keep improving, it's only a matter of time before the tropes start becoming self aware, I guess.

Well it would be wouldn't it? male jumps into whirlpool of doom to save the love interest when she can't possibly swim out herself.

She'd probably have to throw herself back in the whirlpool.

Wait, Sarkeesian is Siege_TF's love interest? Huh. This just gets weirder.

 

[Akjosch]

We have a duty to rescue [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Duty_to_rescue] in our legal system. While I'm not above breaking laws I consider unjust, this one is in my opinion just and justified, and so I'd move to rescue the human if possible.

 

[Kingjackl]

I kind of miss the days when the Mass Effect 3 ending was the biggest controversy in games. Partly because I actually had a stake in that fight, (Control ending 4 life *****), but mainly because it doesn't make me like I and everyone around me is a monster.

Also, I can see why there's a controversy around ME3's ending because it was controversial by nature. By comparison, Anita Sarkeesian is just another voice in a sea of opinion, but has been blown way out of proportion by bitter weirdos oblivious to the fact that they are just giving her power. Seriously, those guys were the ones who got her on the Colbert Report. No other Youtuber could do something like that on their own, with the possible exception of PewDiePie.

 

[Siege_TF]

I'm not much of a swimmer, but I'd rescue Sarkeesian for the same reason the X-Men rescue bigots (to rub it in their faces).

...

You are one of those sexist elements in video games that Sarkeesian keeps complaining about?

Actually, if games keep improving, it's only a matter of time before the tropes start becoming self aware, I guess.

I'm a guy, I imagine that's close enough.

 

[Ralancian]

I'm not much of a swimmer, but I'd rescue Sarkeesian for the same reason the X-Men rescue bigots (to rub it in their faces).

...

You are one of those sexist elements in video games that Sarkeesian keeps complaining about?

Actually, if games keep improving, it's only a matter of time before the tropes start becoming self aware, I guess.

Well it would be wouldn't it? male jumps into whirlpool of doom to save the love interest when she can't possibly swim out herself.

She'd probably have to throw herself back in the whirlpool.

Wait, Sarkeesian is Siege_TF's love interest? Huh. This just gets weirder.

Only girl in the story if she isn't the hero's token love interest what she doing there?

 

[Thaluikhain]

I'm not much of a swimmer, but I'd rescue Sarkeesian for the same reason the X-Men rescue bigots (to rub it in their faces).

...

You are one of those sexist elements in video games that Sarkeesian keeps complaining about?

Actually, if games keep improving, it's only a matter of time before the tropes start becoming self aware, I guess.

Well it would be wouldn't it? male jumps into whirlpool of doom to save the love interest when she can't possibly swim out herself.

She'd probably have to throw herself back in the whirlpool.

Wait, Sarkeesian is Siege_TF's love interest? Huh. This just gets weirder.

Only girl in the story if she isn't the hero's token love interest what she doing there?

Running around a prison complex being chased by an alien. No, wait, nobody liked the 3rd one, nevermind, you're right.

 

[Ralancian]

I liked the third one....

Anyway in the Alien films Ripley is the hero so can't be the token love interest. In this Seige_TF scenario he's the hero and the tropes must be kept to!

 

[Jesterscup]

Do hoochie hoop earrings help or hinder buoyancy?

Generally they help, however due to the 'Tumblr effect' they also help to create/reinforce vortexes, in this case the two effects cancel out. Unless the hoops have been enchanted with "advanced tropes" which also gives +1 to internet haterz.

 

[Objectable]

Anita.
She's an actual fucking person. Anyone who cares about a video game over a human being is a goddamn sociopation.

 

[rvbnut]

Oh god. Not the drowning threads again. Please no......

But I'd save the ME3 ending...(don't kill me)

 

[happyninja42]

I'd have the sea lion save Anita, because she's a human, and the ME 3 ending is a bit of code. I might not really agree with everything Anita says, or really pay any attention to her at all, but I'd save her.

Because fuck the ME 3 ending, it can go drown apparently. xD

And yes, I know this is obvious a joke thread, but that's my answer anyway.

 

[RoBi3.0]

I feel that this is a oddly specific scenario. So mush so that it is probably in reference to something. Can someone please explain the inside joke to me.

It's in reference to a series of threads a couple years back (I think, could be more or less) that involved you having the choice of saving one thing or another from a whirlpool. I think they were fairly harmless for a while but then one thread Specifically in the case of whether or not someone would save their pet, or a complete stranger.

Answers mostly consisted of people:
Finding a loophole so they don't have to properly answer the question
Loving their pet and saving them
Valuing a random human over their pet
Raging at the people who saved the pet
Losing faith in humanity over a contrived moral dilemma

It was fun. I tried to search up the thread for you, but I think it might not exist anymore. Oddly enough, I look back on it now as if it was a silly little argument between friends (at least, compared to the more recent shitstorm).

The reason a lot of people (myself included) have joke answers and/or completely avoided the question is because we know of the dangers these threads present. Pretty sure the OP is fully aware as well since he picked three of the most fantastically toxic topics from recent years and combined them into one.

It was a test from the OP (probably just a joke actually, but let's go with test since it's more fun), and judging from the fairly tame responses in this thread, I think we passed.

Edit: Forgot another popular answer! Some people said they'd save their pet, not just because they love them, but also because maybe the stranger is a rapist/killer/pedophile!

Thank you! I think I remember the would you save your dog thread,but only vaguely. I still would totally save the human. I love my dog but a human is a human. If the person I saved turns out to be a villain that is totally on them. Maybe the second chance I gave them will be the catalyst for them to change their life. Either way their choices are their own.

Ethics scenarios are interesting thought experiments.

 

[UmberHulk]

I would eat a can of spinach than dive into the whirlpool and swim so fast that it creates a revers whirlpool saving both. Than I would challenge the sealion to mortal kombat which would end with me getting shot to death by the sealion, cause he?s made of guns.

 

[SonOfVoorhees]

I would save ME3. After all, as a man, it would be sexist of me to think that Anita (a woman) could not save herself without the help of a man.

 

[Ushiromiya Battler]

I would create a new whirlpool next to it and then throw myself in it.
That way the Sealion would have the choice between a white man, Anita or the ME3 ending which would complicate things further.

 

[McMarbles]

So you're walking along the beach to pick up your morning newspaper from the shop, when from the corner of your eye you see that Anita Sarkeesian and the Mass Effect 3 ending are drowning! In a whirlpool no less! Before you have a chance to do anything, a sealion who supports the death penalty and is made out of guns waddles in to save the day, but he can only save one.

What I want to know is how can he make sure his decision is objective whilst still maintaining ethical game journalism? Does being a Brony effect this in any way?

I'd save the one that's a human being.