So... I just found out my brother is gay.

[The Human Torch]

I had a friend who came out of the closet. It kinda went like this:
"Guys, I have something to tell you... I am gay!"
"We know."
"Ow...okay."
"Want a beer?"
"Sure."

He was kinda upset that we weren't more surprised, but he was so obviously gay it was more of a surprise that he didn't realize it before we did.

 

[ramboondiea]

well i was in a similar situation when my mum told me she was gay, i was actually quite shocked and im not going to lie, i was also a little resentful. however i dont feel like that anymore

 

[Wutaiflea]

Today I was talking to one of my younger brothers and the topic of relationships came up, and after him mocking my non-existent love life, we started talking about his. He's always been fairly neutral when it comes to sex, so I've never really given much thought about it but when I asked him if he had a girlfriend, he instead told me that he was, in fact gay. Personally, it doesn't bother me so much that he is gay, more that he felt that he needed to keep it a secret, perhaps some of the homosexual users of the Escapist can give me some insight on that.

For discussion, have you ever had an experience like this, how did you react?

I've never been in this position, but I can't say as I'd be especially bothered if it did.

It speaks very highly of your relationship with him that he felt able to tell you in casual conversation.

 

[SweEscaspist]

Well, I have no problem with gay people. So I guess I would say: "Okay. If thats how you like it then cool." How my parents would react..hmm.. I dono. But I guess they would respect it after a while...I guess. Ah well as I said, I dono how they would react.

 

[ten.to.ten]

although my dad and his side of the family might have a problem with it.

This is easily more than enough to make him not want to be open about it. I knew none of my friends would care, but I still never came out to them until they asked. Society has worked for decades to make it a taboo subject. And the thought of being responsible for creating any sort of rift in the family, no matter how small or how unlikely, is terrifying.

Yeah, I came to post a similar thing. There was a long period I spent in denial but after that probably a couple of years where I knew I was gay and didn't say a word of it to my family. Gay people hear so many horror stories about being rejected and abused by their families when they come out to them, and even though I thought that, probably, no one in my family would care, the fear was so great that they might react unpredictably that I didn't tell.

Also, for a lot of gay people, it's not exactly an issue keeping it a secret, but it's just something that, maybe surprisingly, doesn't really come up in conversation a lot.

 

[Jonluw]

One of the kids I used to hang out with in elementary school turned out to be gay I think.
Thinking back, I should really have seen it coming, but I was like 10 so whatever.

Did your brother really keep it a secret though? Sounds to me like he told you right away. Maybe he just felt it wasn't significant enough to warrant going out and declaring his sexuality to be homosexual?

Edit: If I found out my child was gay, I would naturally support them, but I would feel a little sad that my genes won't get to be passed on. I do sort of want a grandchild.
They say grandchildren is the reward you get for having raised children after all.

Also: Talking about sexuality like this always makes me happy that I do not live in a largely conservative country like for example the US.

 

[sam42ification]

Today I was talking to one of my younger brothers and the topic of relationships came up, and after him mocking my non-existent love life, we started talking about his. He's always been fairly neutral when it comes to sex, so I've never really given much thought about it but when I asked him if he had a girlfriend, he instead told me that he was, in fact gay. Personally, it doesn't bother me so much that he is gay, more that he felt that he needed to keep it a secret, perhaps some of the homosexual users of the Escapist can give me some insight on that.

For discussion, have you ever had an experience like this, how did you react?

If he told you casually then it's open for disscussion but if he hesitated or was ashamed when he told you i wouldn't say anything about unless he asks. Just make sure he knows you support him although don't annoy him about just tell him once.

Don't take it personally. I find i will never talk about my problems with close freinds or family but i will talk with people i barley know or even strangers. (Only if they want to know about my problems). If i had siblings i wouldn't tell them i was gay. I havn't told many people and my freinds and family will be the last know if i ever come out about it.

 

[SckizoBoy]

I'm in a weird position that I have more lesbian friends than gay friends. *shrug* We can legitimately ogle pretty women together with complete impunity! But yeah, when they came out it was absolutely no big deal whatsoever, and seeing that I'm currently in Brighton... (to all UK'ers, you get the idea).

 

[A Free Man]

When my cousin "Krista" told me they were becoming "Kris" (I understand that Transgendered =/= gay) , I was a bit shocked, and told them I needed a moment.

We have a decent relationship, and I call him the older brother I never had (Which he really likes)

Wow I think you handled that really well. I have absoultely no problem with gay people, my cousin is gay, though he is openly gay and it doesn't really change anything as it is not really a defining characteristic and so it is not really the same situation as the OP. But with your example I have no idea how I would react. I honestly think I'd react terribly if I were in your position. I try to be generally open to any way of thinking and even if I can't fathom any reason to think the way someone else does I can generally accept it if not embrace it. I would hope not to be too weirded out by such a scenario but I don't know if I'd be able to deal with something like that as it just seems so strange and foreign to me.

 

[Kitteh]

yeah mine is also. it might be his way of being 100% different from the rest of us, since hes a gay republican catholic from a jewish family and although he enjoys the cold weather he also is often known to ***** about it.

 

[Nimcha]

My sister told me a few months ago she is bisexual. I was really surprised, since I'm extremely gay and she appeared to be extremely straight. But she realized it a little late, I guess.

My mother reacted great, she said something along the lines of now having two daughters who sleep with women that maybe she should try that as well, since it seems to run in the family. My dad was not amused.

 

[Valksy]

I'm in a weird position that I have more lesbian friends than gay friends. *shrug* We can legitimately ogle pretty women together with complete impunity! But yeah, when they came out it was absolutely no big deal whatsoever, and seeing that I'm currently in Brighton... (to all UK'ers, you get the idea).

How is Kemp Town these days? =)

 

[Gaiseric]

Not too long ago I found out one of my friends was gay. The only reason I found out is that I finally made a Facebook account and saw the things he posted and his tumblr page. It was a surprise but it didn't change anything(hell we played mini golf a couple days ago). I admit that I'm kinda bummed that he didn't tell me and that I had to find out indirectly.

 

[Revolutionary]

My GF; I'm bi
Me; LOL
Gf; no seriously
me; oh....that's cool.
That was interesting conversation...or at least it was for me at the time anyway.

 

[Quellist]

Some years ago my sister came out as Bi, i think my reaction was along the lines of 'cool, when we're out we can both check out chicks together'

 

[Gordon_4_v1legacy]

Today I was talking to one of my younger brothers and the topic of relationships came up, and after him mocking my non-existent love life, we started talking about his. He's always been fairly neutral when it comes to sex, so I've never really given much thought about it but when I asked him if he had a girlfriend, he instead told me that he was, in fact gay. Personally, it doesn't bother me so much that he is gay, more that he felt that he needed to keep it a secret, perhaps some of the homosexual users of the Escapist can give me some insight on that.

For discussion, have you ever had an experience like this, how did you react?

He's your brother. That should be all anyone needs: blood is thicker than water. If my brother came out to me, I wouldn't care because he's my brother. And anyone who would mistreat him would be met with a storm of iron and thunder.

 

[The Gnome King]

Today I was talking to one of my younger brothers and the topic of relationships came up, and after him mocking my non-existent love life, we started talking about his. He's always been fairly neutral when it comes to sex, so I've never really given much thought about it but when I asked him if he had a girlfriend, he instead told me that he was, in fact gay. Personally, it doesn't bother me so much that he is gay, more that he felt that he needed to keep it a secret, perhaps some of the homosexual users of the Escapist can give me some insight on that.

For discussion, have you ever had an experience like this, how did you react?

He probably felt he needed to keep it a secret because of the stigma attached with being gay. It can be hard to tell family because you want to know you'll still be loved and accepted. I had a friend when I was in college who hung himself from our bathroom door when we were sharing an apartment - he came out as gay to his fairly wealthy parents and they disowned him.

My own partner came out as gay to his mother and she was fine with it; but his sister spent a long time crying about it - he said her reaction hurt and shocked him.

I guess it's that you never really know what somebody's reaction will be to the "I'm gay" bomb until you drop it on them.

Wanda Sykes does a pretty good bit on it where she jokes about it. "Mom, dad... I'm black..." - it's pretty funny. She, a black, gay woman, came right out and said "it's harder being gay than black."

Here, watch the video:

http://youtu.be/1_wWJ-_4uSY

 

[Wrann]

I have never had someone come out to me as them being gay in person. Though I do have one friend who I think is Bi but he never said so, he is the guy that you would never play gay chicken with.

Though recently one of my friends on steam told me that he was a transsexual. Started out as a conversation about what we were doing up at 4 AM then he just says "I don't feel like I should be a man". Went with the kinda odd that you tell me this but I'm cool with it approach. The next day were talking about what his female name should be was quite interesting.

 

[Legion]

A friend of mine came out as 'Bi' but later admitted he was gay, he said Bi at first as he thought people would be more accepting of him if he eased everyone into the idea he liked guys by implying he did also like women.

Not that it mattered, none of us really cared about it either way, sexual orientation isn't that high up in things I care about when it comes to people, unless they are women I am attracted to obviously.

Gay people keep it a secret because they're afraid of how people will react, even when it comes to relatives. Plenty of gay kids have been thrown out of home for it.

Indeed, it is rather sad that some parents could be that callous. Although the other way around can be somewhat irritating, my mother once asked me if I were gay and she was rather disappointed when I said no. *rolls eyes*

 

[elvor0]

Few times, I've got quite a few gay/lesbian friends and it's never bothered me. A couple have caused surprise, but I don't really care.

At first though when two of my mates came out as gay it caused me worry about accidently having offended them over the years though, I've got a satirical sense of humour when it comes to homosexuality like "Don't let them breath on you, that's how they reproduce!", which is more taking the piss out of homophobia more than anything else else, although I'd like to think anyone who knows me knows that I accept any walk of life, and it's meant in jest, besides any gays that get offended by something like that, really needs to see how secure they are in themselves.

Saying that, I only intend to have one child and I would be slightly miffed if my son turned out to be gay, as I'm the "last" male in the family and I want my family to continue after me, I wouldn't think of him any less, but y'know family line and all that.