So...I screwed up.
- Thread starter Bernzz
- Start date
Recommended Videos
Christ, how old are you?
Yeah it's a screw up, a very little one. It's so easy to blow these things out of proportion when you're a teenager. Yes it does go 'look, but DON'T TOUCH' but sometimes rules are made to be broken. It's not like you had sex with this girl on your girlfriends bed is it?
She'll trust you again, when she thinks about it and realises how bad you feel and that you had the balls to tell her face to face that you were naughty (you didn't cheat, trust me, if that kind of behaviour fell under the cheating umbrella the human race would be extinct now due to people refusing to have sex because of unfaithful behaviour).
I'm not advocating going around grabbing random girls breasts but man cut yourself some slack, us guys ALL do stupid things. I'm not saying it's right, I'm just saying it's inevitable that we will do stupid things from time to time. You'll be fine.
Just remember not to touch next time.
Yeah it's a screw up, a very little one. It's so easy to blow these things out of proportion when you're a teenager. Yes it does go 'look, but DON'T TOUCH' but sometimes rules are made to be broken. It's not like you had sex with this girl on your girlfriends bed is it?
She'll trust you again, when she thinks about it and realises how bad you feel and that you had the balls to tell her face to face that you were naughty (you didn't cheat, trust me, if that kind of behaviour fell under the cheating umbrella the human race would be extinct now due to people refusing to have sex because of unfaithful behaviour).
I'm not advocating going around grabbing random girls breasts but man cut yourself some slack, us guys ALL do stupid things. I'm not saying it's right, I'm just saying it's inevitable that we will do stupid things from time to time. You'll be fine.
Just remember not to touch next time.
Am I the only one who thinks grabbing another girl's tits on a dare wasn't a big deal? It was a fucking dare, c'mon. Any girl should know guys have cock contests all the time.
Hell if my boyfriend did it I'd either say she better have been a D-cup or that he'd better have won something for it. Amidst laughing anyway.
I find more fault with the girl who sidled up so cozily to him after his girlfriend left. I have zero respect for people who know someone is taken and try shots for it anyway. That's practically jumping on the shit stirring stick and swinging around like a retarded monkey doing a dry hump.
Hell if my boyfriend did it I'd either say she better have been a D-cup or that he'd better have won something for it. Amidst laughing anyway.
I find more fault with the girl who sidled up so cozily to him after his girlfriend left. I have zero respect for people who know someone is taken and try shots for it anyway. That's practically jumping on the shit stirring stick and swinging around like a retarded monkey doing a dry hump.
That was kind of an underwhelming story, I think you'll be fine it's not like you lied or anything.
You did basically what I would have done, I would have played it down more and emphasized how awkward it made me feel, while never directly apologizing. That way she understands how bad I would have felt while doing it, that I didn't enjoy it but I never directly admit to being wrong to anything.
That's one thing I've learnt from woman, never apologize unless you have a solid grasp on why exactly they're angry. You get a situation where its:
Me: I'm sorry
Them: For what?
Me: ...
I know of some similar stories, there was a guy who would sleep with random girl even though they had a girlfriend and the next day would her that the random girl had come on to them and she had only kissed (emphasis on the girl doing the kissing) them and they felt really awkward about it. Result them getting off Scott-free, because the girl treats anything she heard after that as a just an awful rumour, because the boyfriends already been "honest" and "open".
That's an extreme case of the guy being totally in the wrong and lying. I've witnessed someone whose been jumped by a drunk girl (basically ran up and forcibly kissed him) no fault of his own and he told his girlfriend about because he felt guilty, really didn't emphasis the no-consensual-ness of the situation. The kicker this was by email, one her first day of a month long vacation in Italy, they broke up by long distance.
Never in my 20 years as a red blooded, rural Victoria living, Kangaroo hunting, LAN partying, medicine studying Australian male have I ever participated or heard of any of my friends participating in something like that.
It sounds really awkward (especially as erect yields the only consistent lengths of a penis) and homoerotic.
You did basically what I would have done, I would have played it down more and emphasized how awkward it made me feel, while never directly apologizing. That way she understands how bad I would have felt while doing it, that I didn't enjoy it but I never directly admit to being wrong to anything.
That's one thing I've learnt from woman, never apologize unless you have a solid grasp on why exactly they're angry. You get a situation where its:
Me: I'm sorry
Them: For what?
Me: ...
I know of some similar stories, there was a guy who would sleep with random girl even though they had a girlfriend and the next day would her that the random girl had come on to them and she had only kissed (emphasis on the girl doing the kissing) them and they felt really awkward about it. Result them getting off Scott-free, because the girl treats anything she heard after that as a just an awful rumour, because the boyfriends already been "honest" and "open".
That's an extreme case of the guy being totally in the wrong and lying. I've witnessed someone whose been jumped by a drunk girl (basically ran up and forcibly kissed him) no fault of his own and he told his girlfriend about because he felt guilty, really didn't emphasis the no-consensual-ness of the situation. The kicker this was by email, one her first day of a month long vacation in Italy, they broke up by long distance.
Wait we do what now?Akkiko said:
Never in my 20 years as a red blooded, rural Victoria living, Kangaroo hunting, LAN partying, medicine studying Australian male have I ever participated or heard of any of my friends participating in something like that.
It sounds really awkward (especially as erect yields the only consistent lengths of a penis) and homoerotic.
...You sir is a Baka.
Anyway trust is hard to gain and easy to use. Please find some way to mend the relationship. You sound happy and I or anyone here, don't want you to use your happiness.
EDIT: But It was a dare so she shouldn't get mad.
Anyway trust is hard to gain and easy to use. Please find some way to mend the relationship. You sound happy and I or anyone here, don't want you to use your happiness.
EDIT: But It was a dare so she shouldn't get mad.
Well first of all...silly thing to do, but you obviously realise that.Bernzz said:
Secondly Kudos to you mate, you've followed my main philophosy "Tell the truth" The important thing here is that you were the one who told your girlfriend. Not this Girl who you think likes you, chances are if your girlfriend dosn't like her, she dosn't like your girlfriend so expect some bitchy "Your boyfriend touched me up" shit.
Make up trust with your girlfriend? = Time
If she understands it was a stupid spur of the moment thing and that you don't like this girl then *shrugs*.
Ending it with her? Because you fucked up???
If you still want your girl, keep her.
If she can't forgive you...then it's a whole new kettle of fish.
Well obviously you're actions were reprehesible to say the least and downright moronic. Yet I am inclined to believe its not really cheating as all it was, was a grope. But it does also sound like the product of 3AM sleep deprivation, to which you obviously feel immense regret. Give it time, she'll learn to trust you again, and stay as far away as physically possible from this other girl.
(seriously? groping some other chick when your gf leaves? not cool)
(seriously? groping some other chick when your gf leaves? not cool)
What exactly qualifies as cheating these days? I'm several centuries behind on social interactions. I'll input my thoughts once someone clears that up.
Huh... I don't get it, shouldn't she feel all happy that you're guilty about feeling up another girl?
I mean, isn't that like... good for her?
I mean, isn't that like... good for her?
listen i have been through a lot of relationships and recently my boyfriend told me he saw his ex and he kissed her, i was mad but i was glad he told me right then, al least you where honest and didnt wait for her to find out. al least it shows you care if you actually felt bad about it, but what i suggest is that you do something romantic for her to make it up to her like give her flowers or something, let her know she is your number 1Bernzz said:
She is just upset about it, it is a natural reaction really. You definitely get points for telling her though, sure she is upset, but you can earn the trust back, if you hid it and she found out you might not of gotten the chance.Bernzz said:
Just be yourself and don't give her any reason to not trust you. Doing something nice for her to show her you care about her certainly would not hurt, not something generic like flowers, though they are nice too, something more personal, that she would enjoy.
Really though, just be a good boyfriend and you will get the trust back, everyone fucks up sometimes.
I'll blame it on turning the big 2-0.SmartIdiot said:
Also, right. I'm supposed to try and help.
Find ways to reassure her that she is your one and only. Put her first and foremost in your mind for the next week or two and act accordingly. Don't go overboard though, you'll end up building expectations for the future which will be hard to keep up if they're not in your routine.
Small tokens of affection (this is assuming you normally don't do this) left in areas she frequents will probably be most helpful. Things like a single rose (red color, if she knows anything of roses, she'll know red means love, yellow means friendship, white means death. Avoid white unless its her favorite color and even then be iffy) chocolate, favorite items, a piece of jewelry should be left in her locker, on her desk, next to her bed when she wakes up if you live together or given to her directly.
If that's not you then do what you think is best (AFTER SOME DEEP THOUGHT. THINK ABOUT HER, WHAT SHE LIKES. THIS IS VITAL.), but do noooooot smother her. As I know nothing about your girlfriend, I can't make sound judgments but I think any girl going through relationship troubles would appreciate a reaffirmation that her boyfriend loves her.
What type of girl is she?
I ask because the advice could be change slightly. I think in general, so long as she doesn't want to break up, continue to see her if you like her and just earn her trust back. Don't FORCE the issue, by being overly apologetic or whiny (wotever). you need to let HER decide when she can trust you again.
You did the right thing (ironically) by admitting it to her as soon as possible, rather than "letting" her find out another way. You seem upset with the situation, and yourself, so just try and move on from it. One day she'll either trust you again, or she won't. That's the way it is for teens and adults alike, the age isn't really going to make a difference.
The callous side of me suggests that since it's a new relationship, to not dwell on it but learn from it. You saw her reaction and hated it. Don't do it again. *shrug* It's only been 2 months and regardless of your feelings for her now, it most likely won't last. As a teenager yer just learning how to intimately be around people (not just physically, in every other aspect).
I ask because the advice could be change slightly. I think in general, so long as she doesn't want to break up, continue to see her if you like her and just earn her trust back. Don't FORCE the issue, by being overly apologetic or whiny (wotever). you need to let HER decide when she can trust you again.
You did the right thing (ironically) by admitting it to her as soon as possible, rather than "letting" her find out another way. You seem upset with the situation, and yourself, so just try and move on from it. One day she'll either trust you again, or she won't. That's the way it is for teens and adults alike, the age isn't really going to make a difference.
The callous side of me suggests that since it's a new relationship, to not dwell on it but learn from it. You saw her reaction and hated it. Don't do it again. *shrug* It's only been 2 months and regardless of your feelings for her now, it most likely won't last. As a teenager yer just learning how to intimately be around people (not just physically, in every other aspect).
I don't grope my female friends. For one thing, one of them has a boyfriend who would beat the crap out of me if I tried. But that girl is more like a sister to me than my own sister, so I wouldn't. Me and my mates just make jokes bout it, but don't do anything. No point.
You can gain the trust back, but I think it would take time. If she knows how torn up you are about it, she might realise that you know you made a mistake and aren't bullshitting like a lot of guys I know. One I know was telling three girls that he liked them, and this was only two weeks after breaking up with one of those girls. It's sick.
It seems you have made a massive mistake. Yes, people will say that you won't be able to get her back, but look at the people who cheat on their girlfriends and are still with them three years on. There is such a thing as forgiveness. If your girlfriend loves you then she will know of this and use it.
You can gain the trust back, but I think it would take time. If she knows how torn up you are about it, she might realise that you know you made a mistake and aren't bullshitting like a lot of guys I know. One I know was telling three girls that he liked them, and this was only two weeks after breaking up with one of those girls. It's sick.
It seems you have made a massive mistake. Yes, people will say that you won't be able to get her back, but look at the people who cheat on their girlfriends and are still with them three years on. There is such a thing as forgiveness. If your girlfriend loves you then she will know of this and use it.
There is no real way she will ever forget this, but forgive you, just try to prove to her you still like her. Card, flowers, chocolates, whatever the girl likes.
But on a lighter note, while reading this, I thought you may have done something much much worse... must be my dirty university mind...
mwahahaha
But on a lighter note, while reading this, I thought you may have done something much much worse... must be my dirty university mind...
mwahahaha
To answer your question, I'm 17 in 6 days. Yeah, I'm reeaallll mature for a 16 year old.SmartIdiot said:
Your middle points that I snipped make sense, so I hope you're right and this blows over...eventually.
And about your last sentence...never again, mate. Not after what this once caused.